To Start Over
by TokehGecko
Summary: Continuation Fic set after Third Impact. 2 Chapters just became 1 Chapter.. No new update, Chapter 9 will be released soon..
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion.. GAINAX does, and if it wants, it could stop me immediately from writing anymore.  
  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
  
Neon Genesis Evangelion  
  
  
  
The sound of the wind and the sound of the waves hitting the ground is heard, but nothing else. The sea, the sky, even the ground, it was all red. On the ground lay two bodies. One male and one female. Asuka Langley Sohryu and Ikari Shinji. The survivors of Third Impact. Both their eyes were wide open as they stared in the sky. Slowly, the clouds in the sky were moving, dark red clouds. The entire sky was red. Not another single colour was seen.  
  


(Shinji's POV)  
  


The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was that everything was red. The sky, the clouds and as I sat up I noticed even the sea was red. Apparently I was lying on a beach. To my left I saw another red....something. When I noticed what it was, no, who it was, I got very upset. It was Asuka Langley Sohryu, someone who hated my guts. 

I knew of Instrumentality, the Third Impact. I knew that I chose to take the risk of being hurt again. But I didn't expect her to be here. But I should have.  
  
Personally I don't like it. She hates me, and honestly, I don't like her that much either. Ok, ok, that's partly a lie, but I'm beginning to dislike her. I really liked her. But she……I asked for her help, needed her help so bad... And she just screamed me away. Apparently, I wasn't worth her attention. She, she is a bitch. Toji and Kensuke were right all along. But I still, see something in her, saw, something in her. Why is she here ? Maybe she is another fake thing send from Lilith !! But she is hurt, hmm, must be another one of Lilith's tricks... I got up and started strangling this "Asuka". This doll that Lilith created just to haunt me. I strangled her, and I cried too, but then her hand came up. I expected her to strangle me back or at least slap me. But instead, she caressed my cheek. I was confused. Was this the real Asuka ? The real Asuka would never do that !! So it must be a creation from Lilith. I looked the doll in the eye and I saw emotions. First I hesitated but I let go of her and started crying even more. It was the real Asuka. Why is she here ? Why did she touch me like that ? Why did I try to kill her ? Well, I think that one's already answered. She doesn't deserve to be here, she doesn't need to go through this hell. She didn't do anything wrong. At least she fought, all I could do was run away. I'm the one who should suffer, I'm the coward, I'm pathetic and weak. I stopped crying and layed back to where I found myself. Then I heard Asuka say something.  
  
(Asuka's POV)  
  
What ??!?!! It hurts !!!! I opened my eyes and saw Shinji strangle the shit out of me.. I looked him in the eye and saw pure resentment, hate and sadness. My first intention was to beat the shit out of the weakling. But I just felt so different, I didn't feel like myself. Must be because…. I died?  
The look in his eyes. It was so intense, so I just let it all happen. I can't say I don't deserve to die. Ikari Shinji, I-I have to say I'm sorry, for everything. If I were him I would kill me too. One last touch, let me have one last touch of you, Shinji, before I die, I'm so sorry. He's still strangling me, but he's withdrawing. He's looking me straight in the eye. 

H-he stopped. The first thing I noticed after I got my senses back was the red sky, the red sea. What the hell happened ? Is there no one else here ? And that smell !! Uugghhh !! 

"I feel sick" 

I really did. The horrible smell of LCL was everywhere. I looked at the sea, is that LCL ? A sea of LCL ? Why ? I realised Shinji stopped crying and laid next to me after he got off me. Stupid idiot. Why didn't he just kill me ? Then I would feel a lot better, well anything's better than this. I'm stuck with an idiot in a red world. Can't get any worse than this. I remember everything that happened during the attacks, but I don't remember anything of this happening. I started crying, remembering the mind-rape and my total failure.  
  
  


They both laid still, staring up in the sky, both deep in thought.  
  
Both had questioning stares toward the sky. They hadn't said anything to each other since Shinji got off Asuka.  
  
(Shinji's POV)  
  
Hnn, I feel sick too. It's because of that terrible smell, the smell of LCL.  
  
There's so much to do, I need to find out if we are truly the only ones here. If so, I wouldn't wanna be me, right now, but I guess I have no choice. I think a lot of boys would be happy to trade with me, being with Asuka and all. I sighed a deep sigh. I noticed Asuka was currently crying. Probably because I'm still in her life. This is the end of the world. or just the end of life on the world ? Third Impact. I remember Misato telling me about First and Second Impact. First Impact was before Second Impact, which was in 2001. Misato's father died, that year I was born, maybe I just brought despair with my birth and now everyone's dead. That only proves it. Misato, Rei, Toji, Kensuke, Kaji, Ritsuko, Maya, Hikari, Shigeru, Makoto, Fuyutsuki and even father. And now I'm here with a person who truly hates me. Of all persons she has to be the one who has to suffer through this with me. Wait a minute, is this some sort of Adam and Eve-thing ? Oh no, I hope not. They did it all wrong then, they should've taken someone else in stead of me. This is all wrong.  
Stupid Lilith, don't you know anything ? The chances of me together with Asuka are 0.0000000000000000000001 %, probably less, too.  
Now what ?!? Oh no, humanity is doomed, why the hell did they choose me ??? I'm no good for all of this, I'm Ikari Shinji, the ultimate coward, the weakling who's too afraid to even speak up to a doll. I'm not good for this. Maybe, maybe there are more people here. I hope there are. Or Asuka will kill me....  
  
(Asuka's POV)  
  
Look at me !!!! I'm crying !!! I promised myself never to cry again !  
  
Especially in front of him !!! Why am I here ? It is understandable why he is here. The invincible Shinji. He's the one who deserves to live, not me. I'd understand it if he hated me. I would too, after all I've put him through. And what the hell is wrong with my eye ? I can only see with one !! Is it because of the attack ? Oh my god, I hope I'm not missing an eye !! Wouldn't I notice that ? Maybe, maybe there are more people here. Well, at least I stopped crying. And why is everything red ? I don't mind the colour, but still. 

Wait a minute, didn't I die ?? Yes, I'm sure I died. I shouldn't be alive !! The Eva's killed me, my Eva was destroyed. Shinji was too late, I guess. I didn't deserve his help anyway. Or he just acted like a coward again. But I fought, I should be proud of myself. But my pride was completely broken, the only thing keeping me together was mama, my Eva. I would've accepted help from anyone, even Wonderdoll !!! But none of them came. Not even Shinji.  
  
'Weird, I would at least think Asuka would beat the shit out of me right about now. Maybe she's still going to do it, and just letting me suffer these last few minutes before I will get damaged severely.'  
  
'What the hell happened here ? Is this hell ? But why would Shinji be  
here then ? To show me what I've done wrong ? Are we the only ones  
here ?'  
  
Asuka: Shinji ?  
Shinji: Y-yes ?  
Asuka: What happened ?  
Shinji: ....Third Impact.  
Asuka: Are....we the only ones here ?  
Shinji didn't answer her.  
Asuka: Figures.  
Shinji: I'm going to find out.  
  
  


Shinji stood up and went to leave but Asuka grabbed his foot.  
  
'What .... ?'  
It was then, that Asuka noticed that not only here eye was injured. Her entire body was severely damaged..  
  
'Damn...'  
  
Asuka: Wait, I'm coming, too.  
Shinji: N-no, you're hurt.  
Asuka: No !! I-I can do this !!  
Shinji: Just … stay here, please? Your injuries might get worse otherwise. Stay here, Asuka, please.  
Asuka: Fine !! As long as your begging.  
  
Shinji left.  
  
Asuka: Stupid idiot.  
  
  


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'Man, it sure is different here. I don't recognise anything here. I don't think anyone's here. But Ayanami said everyone would return.  
Asuka's here, so where are the others ? Ah ! Dammit !!' 

Shinji fell over a rock and hit the ground rather hard.  
  


'Ugh, that hurt. Man, I'm bleeding. Stupid rock.'

Shinji rose to his feet and continued walking. As he watched his surroundings he came to realise he knows where he was walking. He often took walks through Tokyo-III, especially after Angel Attacks. He chose to continue, instead of notifying Asuka of this newfound fact, and he went to see if he was right about his surroundings

'Hey, those are buildings !! How can there be buildings ? Maybe our apartment is still standing up as well. But where to go ? I don't recognize anything here. And I think I'm lost. Why did they let me choose for humanity, anyway ? This is so unfair, They should've let Misato or at least Asuka choose, but not me. Hey, that looks awfully familiar. I know his place, so our apartment must be, that way. Now I've got SOMEthing to tell Asuka.'  
  
  
After half 'n hour Shinji returned to Asuka's side.  
  
  
Shinji: Asuka ? I-I've found our appartment.  
Asuka: Our appartment ?!  
Shinji: Yeah. But I didn't encounter anyone else. Sorry.  
Asuka rolled her eyes.  
Asuka: Didn't Third Impact change you one bit ?!  
Shinji ignored the comment.  
Shinji: Can you walk ? It's not that far.  
Asuka: Of course I can walk !!  
Shinji: .Sorry.  
  
After half'n hour they arrived there. Asuka didn't want Shinji to help her. Shinji tried to help her, but Asuka slapped him, hard.  
So Shinji didn't try it again.  
  
Asuka: Great !! I hope everything's the same in my room.  
Shinji simply walked to his room and found his SDAT Player...  
'Didn't I leave this at NERV ? I don't remember. I wonder if Asuka's  
hungry, cause I am.'  
  
Shinji: Uuh… Asuka, are you hungry ?  
Asuka: Yeah !! Please make something now !!!  
  
'At least she said please. I hope there's something left here.'  
During his short trip of exploring, Shinji found out that most of the  
buildings were still standing up. Some were badly damaged. He didn't see or hear any other people. Maybe all humans changed into LCL, or maybe all living things. There weren't even any plants or trees left.  
'So why would there be food here then ?'  
  
Asuka was in the living room of their appartment.  
" I think the TV is broken", Asuka said to no one in particular.  
"And Pen-Pen is not here either."  
Shinji walked in.  
Shinji: There's no food in the house.  
Asuka: Well, that's just great.  
Shinji: I'll go outside, maybe the mall is still standing up. I just hope there's any food there.  
Asuka: I'll go with you !!  
Shinji: But, Asuka, you….need some rest.  
Asuka: Don't you tell me what I need, idiot !! Or else !!  
Shinji: When I come back, I don't want to see you here, I expect you to be in your bed taking a nap.  
Asuka: WHAT !!!  
Shinji: Please, Asuka ?  
'What's up with him ?'  
Asuka: Hmph !! You're just lucky I'm injured. You're acting pretty pathetic, Shinji. I just have to beat you up soon.  
Shinji: Sorry.  
Shinji stepped outside, once again smelling the LCL. He winced and began to walk toward the mall. Or at least where it used to be.  
  
Asuka was on her bed deep in thoughts..  
  
'Damn you Shinji...I can take care of myself and I don't need help  
from anybody. Especially not from you.....I wish Kaji or Hikari was  
here, or at least Misato. I wonder what happened. I don't remember  
anything except for all the angel attacks and my "death." Maybe  
Shinji knows.'  
  
Shinji was walking through the red streets....  
'What if there is truly no one here ? Then Asuka will kill me once  
she has recovered. I sure wish Misato was here, but she died, but so  
did Asuka, so can Misato come back too ? I sure hope so.'  
  
Asuka fell asleep after trying to remember what had caused all this.  
But it made her headache just grow worse, so she stopped trying to remember and started trying to sleep. Wich was a lot easier.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Shinji came through the door. And walked toward the kitchen.  
He found out the mall was still there, but here weren't may supplies left. He took what was there to take. He prepared dinner.  
  
'I really need to apologise for strangling her. I bet when she's  
recovered she's gonna beat the living shit outta me. sigh Well, at  
least she's sleeping, I think. Let's see. Sorry, Asuka, I don't think you're gonna like dinner.  
  
15 minutes later...  
Shinji: Asuka ! Are you sleeping ?  
  
No answer...  
  
Shinji: I guess so.  
Asuka stepped out of the door staring right in the eyes of Shinji.  
Shinji felt pity for her, she was really hurt..  
Shinji: Uhh...Dinner's done.  
Asuka: Ok.  
Shinji: Uhhmm, Asuka ?  
Asuka: What is it ?  
Shinji: I-I'm sorry for.....almost killing you.  
Asuka: You should be.  
Shinji: I just thought you were another one of those fake images Lilith created.  
Asuka blinked her eyes..  
Asuka: Lilith ? What's that ?  
Shinji: Y-you don't know ???  
Asuka: Ofcourse not !!! Remember me being in a coma for a very long time ?!?!  
Shinji: S-sorry, Lilith was, well, I think she or it was responsible for all Impacts, or at least this one.  
Asuka: ow.  
Shinji: Ayanami, Ayanami was part of Lilith.  
Asuka: Wondergirl ? What do you mean ? What are you talking about ?  
Shinji: It's all kinda messed up.  
Asuka: Just try to explain it already, idiot !!  
Shinji: Well, Rei was, she was a clone, made from my mother's and Lilith's DNA.  
Asuka: What ?  
Shinji: Ayanami explained to me what was happening all around me and what was still going to happen. But I don't know why you are here, though, she never mentioned you being here.  
Asuka: I-I thought I died during the U.N. Attack..  
Shinji: Y-yeah, everyone died. Rei said they would eventually come back here, but there's no one here.  
Asuka: I noticed. So, you defeated the last angel ?  
Shinji: Kaworu. Yes, I had to kill him.  
Asuka: Him ? Angels don't have a sexe, Shinji.  
Shinji: The Last angel was a human, Asuka, and that human became my best friend in two days. And I had to kill him.  
Asuka: Yeah yeah, whatever.  
Shinji: What do we do from here ?  
Asuka: I don't know, wait for the others to arrive ?  
  
Shinji was making breakfast, when Asuka came out of her room. She immediately took a shower, wich Shinji already had taken. Under the shower, Asuka was thinking about how everything came to this, and was determined to get the answer from her roommate. Her old self was slowly returning. Her wounds weren't as bad as they looked. Her eye was already working for fifty-fifty. 'Soon, Asuka Langley Sohryu will be all back to normal.'  
  
Shinji was trying to remember everything after Kaworu's death. It was really hard. He remembered a giant Rei, talking to him. He remembered Misato kissing him, he blinked at that. He remembered the U.N Forces. He remembered Asuka fighting for her life. He couldn't help her then, the cage where EVA-01 was in, was filled with bakelite. But after that was over he still could've helped her. 'But I had to be a coward.' He just couldn't do it. Every time he got into 01, he hurts someone, Mari, Toji, Kaworu. He remembered after he got up in 01, how Unit-02 was doing. He remembered Asuka's death. He remembered The EVA's 05-13. How they crucified him. And how it all began from there.  
  
Shinji was in deep thought for more than fifteen minutes, and Asuka's was trying to get his attention.  
Asuka: Idiot, you just ruined breakfast..  
Shinji: Damn. Now I have to make it all over again.  
Asuka: Anyway, I have a lot of questions, Third Child, and you'd better answer them, Got it ?!?  
Shinji: Yes !  
  
So Shinji tried to answer all those oh-so-important questions, And Asuka was Up to Date.  
After all her questions were answered she sat down on the couch, completely puzzled and confused. Shinji, too sat down on the couch, beware, it was another couch.  
  
Asuka: So Misato really kissed you ?  
Shinji: Y-yeah.  
Asuka: I bet you enjoyed it.  
Shinji:....Uh.....  
Asuka: I see. I always thought she had a thing for you.  
Shinji: WHAT !!  
Asuka: yeah, the way she always took care of you and all.  
Shinji: She did the same for you !!  
Asuka: Well, she always did steel glances at you.  
Shinji: WHAT !?! Asuka !!  
Asuka: What is it ? It's true.  
Shinji: Whatever, I'll go re-make breakfast.  
  
'Third Impact occurred, and I'm still being teased.'  
  
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The next morning was pretty much the same as the previous one. Shinji tried not to offend Asuka by just keeping his mouth shut and Asuka mostly whined about his attitude and often looked sad in a mirror. Shinji became more depressed every day. Asuka became more herself by the day, in other words, things were starting to get normal. One day, Asuka got really pissed at Shinji. He was simply ignoring her while she talked at him. Shinji was just too afraid that he might say something wrong and got her even more upset. But it seems ignoring her is more dangerous as he received several slaps to the face. The word idiot was often heard, in Japanese and in German.  
  
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Following the wind through the dark streets, it passes a light. The only light in the entire street.

A figure is frantically moving around inside the apartment, its shadow moving against the opposite walls of the apartment.

Asuka is packing a bag and searching for more things to pack. 

"We're leaving tomorrow, got it ?" 

Shinji, on the other hand, was standing still, his eyes very sleepy, not interested at all.

"O-ok."

Asuka turned around, her angry gaze blowing Shinji's eyes in full attention.

"Why are you standing still ? Pack your things already ! We're leaving tomorrow morning !"

"U-understood."

With that, Shinji walked ever so slowly toward his own room. With a last glance toward the red-haired girl, he stepped inside his room and closed the door.

'Let's see here, we have sleeping bags, water and food. For some reason, I want to bring my plug suit with me. 

I remember how happy I was when I found out my other clothes were still in my closet. Do we need anything else.

I guess I should expect we don't clean ourselves during our trip. I just hope Shinji isn't as lousy company as he is the last month.'

Asuka took a look at herself in a mirror and carefully touched the eye cap with her right hand. 

'When will it be ready to take off ? Maybe it's already ready.'

Her fingers reached for the right corner of the eye cap, pulling slightly. After she felt a little pain, she withdrew immediately. 'I guess not...'

She looked at her arms and nodded a bit. 

'Thank god I can use them more now.'

Her legs were fine. She got used to walking pretty fast, considering she was in a coma before Third Impact. 

It took two months, but she felt good again. The only thing that bothered her, was the eye cap.

She was very proud of her own face. She was a little scared of what it might have become. 

Shinji was lying on his bed, facing his ceiling. A little bag lay next to him. And a sleeping bag next to that.

'This apartment....I consider this apartment as my home. Although this is not my real home. '

A memory struck him, as he saw the smiling face of Misato, welcoming him in. And also the drunk face of Misato. 

And a very serious face, and so many more. He missed Misato. Asuka's arrival hit him like a comet, but he survived. 

He didn't mind Asuka at all. As long as they were happy, he didn't care what happened to them. Although Asuka made that a little hard. 

He spent most of his time in this room. Curled up, hiding in the shadow of his room, trying to ignore what was going on outside. 

Trying to forget what has happened. During the accidents of Toji, Asuka and Kaoru he spent all of his time in this room.

Not eating, drinking or sleeping. Just thinking, filling himself with self-hate and self-doubt. 

Asuka was done packing, her bag way bigger than Shinji's. As she took one last glance at Shinji's door, she entered her own room. She threw herself on the bed and sighed very deeply. Unlike Shinji, she didn't really like this apartment. She didn't see Misato as a mother-figure, more as a rival concerning Kaji. Kaji's death was unbearable for her. After crying in front of everybody during the mind-rape and was forced seeing her past once again, her guardian and in her eyes, only friend, died. She was madly in love with Kaji. But he fell for Misato. She lost that battle. She lost a lot of battles during her stay in Tokyo-III. It was in Tokyo-III where she herself broke completely. Her pride was shattered in million pieces. Her life wasn't worth anything now that she couldn't even synch with her Eva. EVA.....now that she thinks about it, it has brought her more misery than happiness. The only happiness it brought was getting famous because she was saving the world. And she didn't even do that. Which caused her more misery. 

In the darkness of her own room, she shed silent tears, unheard and forgotten immediately when they were released.

Shinji was looking at his ceiling with an almost boring look. With a sad look in his eyes he was observing the ceiling. 

Looking beyond it, he saw images of his own past. 

Images of him standing in front of a large window when he was just a little boy appeared in his mind. 

Behind the windows he looked down on his mother, preparing for a synch test with EVA-01, his Eva. 

After a little wave from his mother he watched her enter the entry plug.

His eyes were scanning the entire area for her mother, after she disappeared in the entry plug.

After five minutes, a female voice behind Shinji started speaking hysterically. Shinji, being a 5-year old, 

didn't understand what she was saying and saw still looking through the glasses, where her mother last was.

He heard his father scream his mother's name. "Yui !!" And again. "Yui !!" He looked at his father, who was 

pounding the same window Shinji was leaning on. "400 % !!" "Yui !!" "No signs of Life !" "Yui !!"

Shinji gasped awake, although he wasn't sleeping. But he was dreaming.

He remembered his mother's death during Third Impact, where his whole life was flashed to him before his eyes. 

"Ayanami…" Shinji whispered.

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The dark streets of Tokyo-III turned slowly into light red streets as morning fell down.

Inside the apartment where the two only living things were staying there was already movement.

Asuka was up early and looking at her only eye you could see she hadn't had enough sleep.

When Shinji woke up he noticed too, but chose not to make a comment, knowing the German's fury.

"Ok Shinji, we're leaving in half'n hour, so hurry up and take a shower."

In situations like these, you could always find something to be happy about. For example, the shower still worked. 

Asuka watched him walk slowly inside the bathroom and made her own breakfast. 

She already had taken a shower and was now just waiting for Shinji. 

After ten minutes Shinji came out with a towel and walked inside his room. 

He changed clothes and quickly made his breakfast.

After 15 minutes they were ready to go. 

As Asuka started walking, Shinji took one last glance toward the old apartment.

'I hope I'll return to here someday...'

Asuka watched from the corner of her eye as Shinji looked at their apartment.

'Shinji......What if only he and I will be here fro who knows long. I don't know anything about Third Impact. 

Shinji knows more than me and he usually knows less than everybody else. And on top of that, he doesn't talk at all. 

He doesn't share what he knows. I so hope that the people will come back. I don't think there will be a future if they don't. 

Shinji hates me....but I can't let that bother me...not now.'

Shinji finally followed after Asuka. He looked at her and saw her snort at him.

'Asuka....Why is she always like that ? Why does she hate me so much...'

Shinji suddenly saw an image from his memories...

'Asuka, help me, Asuka, I need you, please...'

'Why ? You're only using me. you're using me for your own comfort !'

A second image flashed through his head. 

The one image, the one he was so ashamed of, Asuka, lying in a coma in her hospital bed.

Shinji stood in front of her....

Back to the first image, Shinji was pleading Asuka for her help. 

Asuka pushed Shinji down together with really hot coffee.

"Asuka, Asuka....Please....Help me....please....."

Silence filled the Shinji's memory. 

After 15 seconds or so, Asuka answered "No....."

For some reason the image ended there and Shinji was again facing Asuka's back as he followed her.'

So she really hates me ? Or....'

Asuka expected Shinji to walk behind her.

'As long as he isn't checking me out...'

Asuka looked over her shoulder and saw Shinji observing the ground with a sad look.

'He's been looking like that ever since we've been here.'

Shinji is weird person. He knows so himself. Strangely, he knew Asuka was looking at him for a brief second, he felt it. 

He always knew when people were staring at him. He always felt how he disgusted them.

He remembered how Misato looked at him when he disobeyed her for the first time.

He remembered how Toji looked at him for the first time. He remembered how Asuka looks at him all the time. 

And....he remembers how his father looked at him...All those disappointed looks were directed at him. 

All those annoyed looks were directed at him. Shinji sighed a deep sigh as he tried to empty his mind.

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The temperature was rising. Even the wind that blew in their faces were hot, and often carried sand with it.

Even Shinji cursed once when he got sand in his eyes. They've been going at it for two hours now and were quite tired. 

Asuka was really tired, it seems her legs weren't ready for such a long trip. Shinji was equally tired. Although he had no 

injuries, his stamina was a little lower than Asuka's. An Asuka has her pride, what's left of it, which was more than Shinji's. 

They were walking alongside the sea of LCL, sometimes cleaning their with sweat-covered faces in it, not wanting to waste 

what little water they had with them. LCL is not as nice as water, it's slimier and it isn't exactly see-through. 

You can taste iron when you taste LCL, just like you do when you taste blood..

"Let's take a break....Asuka.."

Asuka looked back at Shinji, whose shirt was completely drowned in Shinji's sweat.

But it wasn't really different in Asuka's case.

"Fine, since you're tired."

They both sat down at a decent distance from each other. They were both very exhausted and were inhaling and exhaling quite quickly. 

Once in a while they took a glance at each other's directions.

Asuka was lying on her back, looking sky upwards, at the red sky..

'I wonder if it'll ever change back to blue...'

She took a glance at the LCL-sea. 

'Maybe we have to cross that sea...but first, we'll walk as far as we can.'

Asuka closed her eyes and fell asleep. She hadn't had a goodnight's rest last night and was now catching up.

Shinji was very awake and felt like he was being tormented, he was that exhausted.

He was inhaling and exhaling pretty fast. He was sitting down, looking at Asuka's sleeping form.

His sad gaze softened into an almost-wishing gaze. He smiled a little smile and got a little less tired.

He sighed, hoping it would calm down his breathing. 

During the first month, he found out the ground they were standing on, was nothing but sand. Not a single little flower or grass to be found. 

There weren't even mosquito's, which he didn't mind..

The sky never changed, only at night it reflected Shinji's soul. He did notice the sky was lightening up a bit. 

In the beginning the sky was dark red, and now it was a light red. 

'Now the sky is similar to Asuka's hair colour. She likes the colour red, right ? Her EVA was red, her plug suit was red. 

Asuka's just like I expected her to be. She isn't like me at all. I'm already giving up. Yet she isn't, she's way stronger than I am. 

I wish I could be like her...'

After about two hours Asuka woke up and was ready to go again. Shinji complied, walked toward the sea and threw a bit of LCL in his face.

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It was already dark when a voice pierced through the sky like a knife through butter.

"Hurry up, you idiot !!!"

Two children walked away from the dark buildings behind their backs.

Asuka decided to leave Tokyo-III and decided that Shinji should come with her.

After waiting for two months, Asuka's patience ran out. No one had appeared and they hadn't found anyone. 

So Asuka decided they should search for signs of life somewhere else, away from Tokyo-III. 

Shinji chose to comply and was now walking behind her, face down. 

Some of Asuka's wounds healed after a month and a half. The eye cap was still on her but she could walk again.

Her arms were still a little hurt. 

Shinji was in perfect condition physically, but mentally, well, unstable.

Shinji and Asuka together was almost impossible. They mostly just tried to stay away from each other.

Shinji, with the reason he was too afraid and ashamed. 

Asuka because she didn't feel like it. 

They were both acting like they normally would. 

"A-ah, Asuka. "

"What."

Shinji kept silent for a few seconds before he continued.

"Where are we going ?"

Asuka groaned loudly, which made Shinji flinch. He blushed and closed his eyes.

"I don't know where we're heading, idiot ! Just away from Tokyo-III !"

"Sorry......for asking."

"Idiot."

Shinji looked up while Asuka was walking ahead. 

'The sky hasn't turned colours ever since we came here.'

Shinji shivered before he continued following Asuka.

'That idiot. He didn't even thank me for letting him come with me. Oh well, I didn't expect anything from him anyway. 

I hope there will be others wherever we're going. I don't want to be stuck with Shinji for too long. 

It's been two months already. This better not be some kind of test Ritsuko came up with.' 

Asuka looked back at Shinji.

'Pathetic. You're pathetic, Shinji. You should be lucky I'm around.'

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the two months they've been here, Shinji spent most of it in his room, crying.

Shinji became more depressed by the day. He realised everything was his fault.

Third Impact was his fault. Misato's death was his fault. Ayanami's deaths were his fault.

Kaoru's death was his fault. Toji.....and his little sister, all his fault.

But the last days Shinji remembered some of the things during Third Impact.

The last death of Ayanami/Lilith. Shinji didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

He killed Lilith with the Lance of Longinuss. Lilith promised him all these things. 

New life, rebirth, second chances......then why did he strike her down ? 

Asuka, too, spent most of the two months in her room. Only coming out to eat and drink.

Asuka was also depressed. She failed herself and she couldn't forgive herself for it.

She failed to defeat certain angels. She failed her mother, just like her mother failed her.

Her life, her pride, it broke together with the returning memories, memories she wanted to forget.

She was tormented to death. In the end she got to see her mother again, for a very short while.

She tried to prove herself to her against the EVA series. But she failed again. And now she's being 

tormented in a world where everyone's gone except for her......and an idiot.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before Shinji and Asuka left they took two sleeping bags and some food and water with them.

They didn't take anything else since there was nothing left to take with them, maybe some beer. 

Asuka: "I think we should sleep here for the night." 

Shinji: "O-ok.."

Asuka: "You sleep there." 

Asuka pointed at a hole in the ground.

Asuka: "Somewhere near there."

Shinji: "H-hai."

Asuka walked about a long twenty meters further and sat down, preparing her sleep bag.

Shinji watched her for a minute before putting his own sleeping bag down.

Asuka: "At least here's no fear of getting robbed."

Shinji noticed she wasn't talking to him.

'I wonder what will happen from now on.. Will they come back ?'

After an hour, Asuka was already asleep and snoring.

Shinji stood over her, watching her.

After he took a long look, he walked away.

'What am I supposed to do ? I can't do anything. Asuka is starting to hate me more by the day. I can see it in her eyes. 

It's all my fault. Maybe I should just kill myself. 

Kaoru.....Misato...I need you.. Ayanami...Anybody..please.....'

Shinji planted his fists into the dirt ground and sobbed quietly. 

His tears were not coming out, but dripping inside of him, toward his heart, filling it with more despair. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"He's coming Rei, the other one."

"........."

"I think you should make him feel comfortable. I would think he feels out of place."

The scenery shows two floating human figures. Kaoru Nagisa and Rei Ayanami were apparently waiting for someone or something. Darkness was surrounding them, but it seemed the two lightened up the whole area. Kaoru had a smirk on his face, while Ayanami just stared ahead of her.

"You know what will happen, right Rei ? Everything will change for us once they make it happen."

"Why ?"

"Why what, Rei ?"

"Why are you asking me things you already know ?"

"Hmm, I guess I learned it from the lilum.."

"........."

Kaoru had a big smile on his face while something approached them.

What seemed like a red little wave, changed into a human form.

And, after a minute or two, Toji Suzuhara was floating with a very puzzled 

expression in front of them. After a few seconds he coughed wildly. 

Kaoru smiled and Rei just stared. 

Kaoru began to speak to Toji.

"Surprised ?"

Toji looked at Kaoru.

Toji: Who are you ? Where am I ? And..what in the world just happened ?!!

Rei: You've been revived. The LCL restored everything.

Toji looked at his supposed to be missing arm and leg. Those were still missing

"What are you talking about !!" He yelled madly.

Kaoru: You'll understand later. Certain things still need to be restored.

Toji: And who are you again ?

Kaoru: I never mentioned it, sorry. I am Kaoru Nagisa. And I believe you already know Ayanami Rei.

Toji: O..kay.. Now, where is this ? 

Toji took a wild look around.

Kaoru: This is the Nexus. The Nexus of Existence. It is here where everything begins and ends.

Toji: Nexus ? Right. 

Kaoru: Listen. What did you go through before you got here.

Toji: Uh ? Well, I remember.....Shinji......and, Asuka.

Rei: You have witnessed what is going on. 

Toji looked at her with a frown which closed his right eye.

Kaoru: So you have seen Shinji and Asuka. What were they doing ?

Toji: I don't know. They were....weird. Shinji tried to kill Asuka. Shinji started crying. Asuka does nothing. Everything's like how it's not supposed to be. 

Kaoru: Toji. You're going to join them. 

Toji: What ?

Rei: Help them. Protect them.

Kaoru: We'll explain later.

With a red splash, Toji disappeared.

Kaoru: And so it begins. Do you think it'll be nice ?

Rei: Yes.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Toji felt like being ripped apart without the pain.

He felt himself being thrown into a sea. He saw his torso floating before him, apart from him.

To his right he saw his leg. He felt like something melted with him. He suddenly had a neck, and a stomach. He felt like being burned, yet, it also felt gentle. As if becoming yourself again.

After a little while, he found himself in mud. He used his hands to get away from the water, that continued to splash against his face. Somehow his entire body hurt. He had trouble moving forward.

He heard voices and tried to reach them, but he just couldn't, he was too weak. After a while he recognised one voice. Asuka. It had to be Asuka. He heard her again. "Idiot, what are you doing ?"

Idiot was what he heard. That meant Shinji was the one approaching him. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To be Continued..

A/N: Well, I posted all the chapters I made in this story, once more, only this time, I let two chapters merge into one. So instead, of 16 Chapters, there are 8.. or 18…9..  Well, you know what I mean…

Only thing is, I've got 17 Chapter so far, so Chapter 9 will be released later on… So in other words, there's nothing new for now…

later


	2. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Well, if you need to, watch the previous chapters.

Chapter 3

After an hour sitting there, deep in thoughts, there was a sound.

Shinji noticed movement on his right. 

'What was that ?'

With wide eyes he watched intently. He was looking in the direction of the sea.

The orange sea which was a little more wild than usual, he noted. 

Then, something moved again.

'Who ? '

Shinji quickly looked back at where Asuka was and noticed she was still there.

He was still looking in Asuka's direction when he heard a groan at his right.

'It's ...a boy ? or....'

He noticed his surrounding were changing. The clouds in the sky were moving faster than usual.

His heart was beating a lot faster too. Shinji swallowed as he prepared on what was to come.

Meanwhile, Asuka was waking up a little.

She opened her eyes and saw a vague image of Shinji. She rubbed her eyes a little and looked again.

She sat up and looked around. She ruffed her own hair a little and blinked her eyes.

'Where am I ? '

Asuka yawned and her vision became foggy again. She rubbed her eyes again and was more awake now.

"Shinji ?"

Shinji whipped his head around with wide eyes as he heard Asuka call him.

Asuka could tell Shinji was afraid. Then again, Shinji is almost always afraid.

But this time it was different somehow. Shinji was scared, but also......curious,

afraid of what he's going to face.

Asuka stood up and walked over to Shinji, who had his back turned to her, face facing to the right.

As Asuka walked she heard something on the right side of Shinji. She looked and saw something move. 

She also noticed the wind was blowing harder than usual. Her long red hair was blown backwards a little. She narrowed her eyes.

"Whu-what is it.....Shinji ?"

Asuka was already prepared to attack whatever it was.

Shinji: "I-I think it's a boy..."

Asuka: "Be quiet.."

Shinji complied, although he was just answering Asuka's question.

Asuka was fully awake now and her attention was completely on whatever was moving once in a while in the mud. 

The moving thing groaned again. It was obviously in pain as it tried to move.

Shinji realised that and crouched down, trying to see what it was.

"Idiot, what are you doing ?" Asuka whispered. "Maybe it'll attack you."

Shinji looked at Asuka just when it groaned again.

Asuka turned her attention back toward the groaning thing and tried to make something out of it.

Asuka: "It's too dark to see something."

Shinji's lips were trembling wildly as he looked down on the black figure.

To Shinji, Asuka was also a black figure and vice versa.

"Wh-what should we do ?" Shinji whispered.

"How should I know ?" Asuka whispered back.

"Go look what it is, idiot."

"Uh...ah,But, why me ?"

As they looked at each other,Asuka ofcourse staring Shinji way down the mud, the object of their attention moved again. 

"Uuhh...."

The object groaned again. Shinji stared at it with wide eyes as his lips were trembling.

Asuka, too, was staring at it with wide eyes. 

"Shinji, aren't you going to do something ?"

Shinji kept silent as he stepped a little closer. 

"Ba-but what if it attacks me ?"

"Are you stupid ? Attack back, ofcourse"

"And what about you ?"

"I'm just going to watch you prove yourself."

"Hmm.."

As Shinji appraoched it slowly his own courage, wich already was less, dropped way down.

Shinji stood silent for a second and looked back at Asuka, who beckoned to go further.

Shinji turned his attention back just when the thing grabbed Shinji and lay on top of him.

Shinji's eyes were closed as he expected several punches or at least a bit of spit.

As he opened his eyes and looked up he saw a boy his age on top of him. And, after adjusting his own view, he recognised him. 

"Tu-Ta-Toji ?!"

"What ? What do you mean 'Toji ? Is that him !?'"

"Yu-Yeah ! I think he is !"

"Ikari ?"

Shinji and Asuka looked at Toji. His voice was somewhat weak as were his body movements as he got off Shinji. Suddenly Shinji's eyes widened.

"Ha-Huh ?! Toji ! You're legs !! They.."

Asuka looked at the spot where the legs are supposed to be and found they were still there.

After frowning at Shinji why he was getting upset, she realised Toji wasn't supposed to be having both legs. Her eyes, too, widened at the sight.

Both Shinji's and Asuka's attention flew from the leg to the arms. And to their surprise, they were both there.

Toji was surprised too.

"And to think....I didn't believe them.."

Asuka and Shinji heard the last comment very clearly.

"What ?!" They said unison

"What do you mean ?! Who is 'they' ?"

Toji groaned as he tried to get up. Thanks to some help of Shinji he was able to stand, while leaning on Shinji's shoulder. 

"Uuuhh, I'm not used of having both my legs again...I haven't been walking for a long, long time.."

Asuka snorted as she walked back to where she was sleeping.

"I see the redhead hasn't changed."

Shinji smiled as he helped Toji getting to where he was sleeping.

"You could've helped a lot sooner, instead of staring at me the entire time."

"Sorry."

Shinji helped Toji sit down. Toji was quite tired. Shinji was watching Toji intently.

Shinji was glad it was Toji, unlike Asuka, who was quite upset it turned out to be him.

Asuka was now walking toward their direction and sat down next to Shinji.

"So, Suzuhara. Speak up." She began.

Shinji: "Maybe we should sleep a bit first Asuka."

Toji: "I agree. I'm really tired now."

Asuka stood up and snorted loudly.

Asuka: "Hmph ! Very well. But tomorrow you're speaking, got it ?"

Toji looked up at Asuka with a smile.

"Ok. "

As Asuka walked away, he turned his attention back to Shinji.

"I'm quite glad to be here."

Toji was touching his right leg the whole time.

"Let's sleep"

"Ok."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shinji was the first to wake up. He grabbed a little bit of food he had packed and began to eat.

He looked down and saw Toji sleeping just a meter next to him. 

'So...it wasn't a dream..Toji's really here. '

His attention dropped from his face to his right leg and after that, his arm.

'My mistakes aren't showing on your body, Toji...but I bet, you still feel them, inside of you.. I wonder how you got your leg and arm back, though.'

After he finished his little snack, he walked away from both Toji and Asuka, about a small thirty meters. He looked up at the sky.

'Toji really came back....after two months, and he was lucky we, Asuka decided to leave Tokyo-III. If not, we would have never found him. But Toji's back, does this mean the others can come back too ?' 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After half'n hour, Asuka woke up, noticed Shinji standing a few meters and then grabbed her food and started eating. She looked at the still sleeping Toji and remembered he also was here.

'I completely forgot he was here, too.'

Asuka drank some of her water and stood up. She looked over at Shinji and decided they needed to talk. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Toji opened his eyes and saw Asuka walking toward Shinji. When his stomach made a loud sound he started looking for food and saw some in front of him. He attacked the food as quickly as he could.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shinji knew someone was walking toward him, but he didn't expect it to be Asuka.

After some thinking, he realised it had to be Asuka, since Toji can't walk properly yet.

"What do we do from here, Shinji ?"

"I don't know..I guess we should wait for Toji to learn to walk again."

"But that took me almost two months, which means it will take at least four months for that moron over there."

"Asuka ?"

"What ."

"Do you think.....everyone will come back ?"

Asuka stayed silent for a few seconds.

"How should I know ? It's bad enough the first one to come back has to be the monkey Toji."

"The first one.....So you're saying there will be a second one ?"

"No..Maybe...I don't know, ok ? We'll just have to find out. Now let's go back and make Toji talk. Apparently he knows something."

"Ok."

Shinji and Asuka walked back toward a still eating Toji. Shinji's eyes widened at the sight.

He ran at Toji.

"Toji !! Not everything !!" 

"What a stupid moron..." Asuka said while touching her forehead.

"Uh ?" 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So start talking !" Asuka began as they sat in a little circle.

"Ok, do you know that I could see you ? I mean what you were doing for the past few weeks ?"

"What ?!" Asuka exclaimed.

Toji: "Well, not like there's a TV or something. I just remember it like watching a dream. The only difference was I wasn't in it. Well, now I am."

Shinji: "So, you were watching us ?"

Toji: "They explained it to me."

Asuka: "Who did ?"

Toji: "Well, Ayanami Rei and her brother."

Asuka: "Wondergirl has a brother ?"

Shinji: "Another.....clone ?"

Toji: "I'm not certain he was her brother. He only looked a lot like her. And what do you mean by 'another clone ?'"

Shinji: "He looked like Ayanami.....Kaoru ?"

Asuka: "Kaoru ? You mean, the angel Kaoru,but you destroyed Kaoru, right, Shinji ?"

Shinji just kept silent as he went over everything again inside his head. 

Toji: "So his name is Kaoru ? Anyway, they both said I was one of the chosen to be here with you two."

Asuka: "Chosen ? What's that supposed to mean ?"

Toji: "How should I know ? I was only an EVA-Pilot for one day."

Shinji flinched at the remark. Asuka continued the third degree.

Asuka: "So continue !"

Toji: "Well, they said they'll explain later. That's when I found myself at this beach. And you two staring at me like two scared rabbits, heh !"

Asuka: "Shut up, if I knew it was you, I would've just left you there. You're lucky Shinji's here."

Toji: "Shut up."

Shinji: "Kaoru-kun..."

Asuka and Toji were having a fight as Shinji was having some flashbacks..

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Call me Kaoru, Ikari-kun."

"Uh, then call me Shinji, Kaoru-kun.."

Shinji watched as they had a shower together and slept together.

Kaoru became his best friend in one day. Sure, he had Kensuke and Toji.

But it was different, Kensuke just liked him because he was an EVA-Pilot. And Toji was his friend because he pitied him after punching him. And Toji still felt remorse for his little sister.

But Kaoru liked Shinji for who he was.

"I like you, Shinji-kun.."

Kaoru was the first one ever in Shinji's life to say that to him. Shinji changed from depressed to happy after those words.

But happiness never stayed long in Shinji's life. The next day, there was an angel attack. And Kaoru was the angel. It was up to Shinji to destroy the angel, to destroy Kaoru.

"I choose to die, Shinji-kun.."

Shinji fell from the heavenly happiness in the darkest depression ever.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I must say, watching you two live with each other saddened me. You both are really pathetic, no offense, Ikari. But, come on, you two lived together before. It wouldn't hurt to talk some more. Look at me. I'm sorry Asuka, but I don't really like you. And looky here, I'm still talking to you."

"Shut up, your voice alone is even more annoying than Shinji apologizing ten times in one minute."

"Look and see you get all offensive again. But me, Toji, will save the day. Why did you pack so little food by the way ?"

Asuka chose to ignore Toji and just closed her eyes.

Shinji: "Toji ?"

Toji stopped talking against Asuka and looked at Shinji.

"Hm ?"

Shinji: "Didn't they say anything more ?"

Toji: "Nope, just that I was chosen or something, and that they will explain later."

Shinji:"Oh. Toji ?"

Toji: "Hm ?"

Shinji: "How long will it take for you to be able to walk again ?"

Toji answered with a frown:"What do you mean ? Walking isn't that difficult. I only lost my right leg. And I basketballed, remember ? I think I can already walk."

Toji stood up with much difficulty, using only his left leg to stand up. The first step succeeded, as it was his right leg that was moving. The second step, though, failed. It seemed his right leg was still too weak to support his weight. Toji fell face down in the mud. 

Shinji helped Toji up again.

"Are you ok ?"

Asuka was laughing loudly at first, but was now just laughing with tears.

"You..idiot !! Hhahhehhehh .. Did you really think you could just walk like that ?!"

"Urusai !"

Asuka just continued her laughing.

As Toji was yelling at a lauging Asuka, Shinji was in deep thoughts again.

'They'll explain later......Does that mean they'll come back too ? Ayanami...and Kaoru too ?'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three figures were sitting around a fire in the middle of nowhere. 

All three were quiet, deep in their own thought. The temperature seemed to be rising every day.

Toji just got back and needed to learn walking fast. He didn't know why, but Asuka seemed to think he needed to. 

Shinji didn't care if he could walk soon or late, as long as he just stayed with them.

It has been three days since Toji's arrival and they stayed at the same spot ever since, because they had to wait for Toji. 

Shinji was a little less depressed, but depressed nonetheless. And Asuka, she was turning into her old self very fast. 

Shinji was in a weird way happy that Asuka was more herself. And in a normal way, he got more depressed because of it. 

Asuka left Toji and Shinji and went for a walk. 

'That idiot better hurry up and walk again. And Shinji needs an attitude-adjustment, I'll help in that department.'

Asuka was getting quite annoyed for staying at a place for too long. She kicked a tiny pile of sand out of her foot's way 

and continued her walk. She looked up at the sky suddenly.

'What I wouldn't give to just see Kaji or Hikari again.'

She changed her view toward the sunset, and watched it with sadness.

'At least I can still see the sun...' 

She watched it for another ten seconds before she continued to walk ahead.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ayanami Rei was floating through complete darkness. Who was following her, was Kaoru Nagisa.

"What do you think, Rei, will they do the right things ?"

"They will do what they think is right."

"And will that be the right thing ?"

"We can only watch."

"If they do the right thing, it means we'll have to it as well. Do you know what to do ?"

".........No.."

Kaoru smirked slightly.

"Hmm, I guess I'll just do what seems right at that moment."

Rei just kept silent. Kaoru ofcourse began talking to her again.

"Rei, do you think we'll make it ?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Toji and Shinji were about to begin a discussion Asuka, although Shinji didn't know that.

"So, what do you really think of Asuka, Ikari ?"

Shinji looked up at Toji with wide eyes.

"Wha-what do you mean ?"

Toji responded with a sly look and a wide smirk. "You know what I mean."

"I remember you always looking at Ayanami when you first arrived in Tokyo-III. And when Asuka arived 

you began looking at her a lot."

Shinji sweated a bit. "N-not true ! I kept watching Ayanami too !"

Toji put his thumb under his chin and looked a bit up, as if trying to remember something.

"Hmm, as I remember, you were watching Asuka a lot more."

Shinji eyes widened even more, "N-no ! Wha-what about you then ?"

Toji looked at Shinji, "What about me ?"

"I also saw you look quite often at Horaki-san."

"Class rep ? Yeah right !

Shinji kept silent as he watched the fire in front of him.

Toji looked at Shinji before turning to the fire too.

"I wonder if it'll ever rain here."

"I hope not...there's no shelter anywhere."

"Still, it would be nice, wouldn't it ?"

"Maybe.."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kaoru smiled as he looked at Rei, "What do you it will feel like, Rei ?"

Rei never changed expressions as she answered, "It will be the same."

Kaoru frowned a bit, "I don't think so. I think it will be completely different. Observing them isn't enough to know them. 

In fact, I think it will be harder for you than for me. But don't worry, we'll help each other." 

Rei blinked once, but not because she was starled or something, "I do not see why I should worry."

"Well, for example, everything inside and outside of you will change. 

You're strong Ayanami, probably stronger than me, but don't think it'll be nothing."

Rei didn't answer and floated further ahead. Kaoru just shook his head with his eyes closed, before he followed her.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Toji and Shinji were already asleep when Asuka returned,

The fire was almost out. Asuka looked at Toji and Shinji, while she looked a little bit longer at Shinji.

She sighed deeply and went to sleep as well.

Three and a half weeks later, 

"I told you, it wouldn't take that long !!"

Toji, Shinji and Asuka were now back at the apartment, after food and water ran out. 

This time they packed a lot more. It took a long time to find some decent food, since most of it was rotten. 

Toji mastered walking again after three weeks, that's when they returned back to the apartment.

"It took you too long, you idiot ! It isn't even hard, try lying in a coma and then walk. I don't see you do that ! You're just pathetic."

Shinji was still looking for something edible to bring with them as Toji and Asuka started to verbally attack each other...again.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rei stood watching the shadow in which she was enshrouded. Kaoru was watching her instead.

"Don't you think it's about time we get there."

"Yes."

"I wonder, Rei, why you are like that. I mean, we're the same. Yet you are also so different. 

Maybe because you were raised by Shinji-kun's father. Although I think SEELE is worse. "

"......."

"They didn't care for me at all. I was ignored for years. Floating in a tube, sometimes not being watched for months. Maybe even years...."

"........"

"When they released me, I was so surprised at how the world looked. So curious, like you. 

A week later I had to move to Tokyo-III, to destroy it, to cause Third Impact. I knew about Third Impact, somehow, 

I had memories, even though I don't remember anything before living in that tube. I saw Lilith, not Adam."

"Commander Ikari."

"Yes, he knew what he was doing. And I understood why he was doing it. I saw through Shinji how humanity lives through horrible experiences. 

I saw emotions in Shinji so intense that I envied him, but I pitied him too. I felt those powerful emotions missing inside of me. 

I stayed with him because I believed I could learn those emotions that way."

"You used him. But he used you too." 

"Yes. To use people for your own benefit, for your own comfort, it's something that comes natural to lilum. 

Yet some people don't use others, or at least not much, and they are even more often used by others. 

Like Shinji, and the other Children.."

"Ikari-kun is strong. But, he doesn't believe in himself."

"Do you think we can handle true emotions ?"

"We can only hope so, for ourselves, and humanity."

"You know why Shinji and I became so close so soon ?"

".......It is time."

"Oh. Well, I'm ready, I hope you are, Rei."

"I am ready"

Rei and Kaoru changed into two red wet clouds and vanished.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Toji, Asuka and Shinji stood face to face with Kaoru and Ayanami.

Shinji looked as if he was watching a ghost.

Asuka looked a bit annoyed.

Toji looked surprised and curious at the same time.

Asuka: Wondergirl..

Kaoru looked at her for a brief instant and shrugged.

Shinji's eyes were wide open as he began to stutter.

Shinji: K-Ku-Kaoru-k-kun ?

Toji just kept silent as he watched them.

Kaoru smirked genuinely as he focused his attention on Shinji.

Kaoru: Hello, Shinji-kun.

Asuka frowned at Shinji for a second and changed to her 'I'm disappointed' look.

Rei just stared at them.

Shinji fainted. Asuka sighed and groaned at the same time. Rei stared at Shinji's lying form. 

Toji ran over to Shinji. Kaoru looked a bit surprised.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shinji was floating in a red-orange sea. 

"I-I can't swim !!", Shinji started swinging his arms up.

"Don't worry, Shinji-kun.." A deep, but very gentle voice boomed through his head.

Shinji looked around and found out he could breathe here.

"L-LCL ?"

Shinji felt at ease after a few seconds.

"This feels like, like the entry-plug of Evangelion Unit-01 !"

"Listen, Shinji-kun." The female voice began.

"Who….are you ?"

"…….I, I am your mother, Shinji-kun."

Shinji's eyes widened at the last remark and he felt like he was going to faint, which didn't happen, strange enough.

"Ma-mother ? Mother ? ……is, is it really, you ?"

A soft and friendly chuckle filled the area.

"Yes, Shinji-kun…It's really me.."

Shinji's eyes watered a great deal as he scanned the entire area.

"But, where, why can't I see you ?"

"I'm afraid that won't be possible, Shinji-kun."

"W-Why ?"

"My body is, gone…and even the sea of LCL can't restore it. It's been too long."

Shinji began to spill some tears, although you only noticed because his eyes became a bit red..

"So….wha, what. Why, am I here….then ?"

"Basically, I'm here to talk to you. Now listen, Shinji-kun. Please."

"O-o…kay"

"I'm sorry, for everything Shinji…"

Shinji's head now hung low as he listened to his mother.

"I'm sorry for Gendo, Shinji. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

Shinji was crying as he heard the words, "Mother…I don't even know, remember, what you look like…"

"Hush now, Shinji-kun..I know it's hard, and you did great so far. You even changed Third Impact in something that can be restored again."

"I…I, because of me everyone died, mother ! Misato died because of me ! All those people died, mother…because of me.."

"They died….and nothing will bring them back again. At least, not all of them.."

"What do you mean ?"

"Ayanami Rei and Kaoru Nagisa will explain it to you."

"….."

"All I'm asking you is to think things through before making decisions."

"What do you.. ? I don't understand…mother…?"

"You'll understand soon. Just remember those words I said, ok ?"

"U-understood, mother."

"Now then, you'll regain consciousness soon."

"What you will feel now is a warm feeling, basically, I'm going to hug you, with my soul. It'll feel even better, I promise."

A few seconds later, Shinji felt like being hugged by everyone he loved. He had a huge grin plastered on his face.

Shinji cried again and laughed like a little child finding what he was looking for.

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	3. Default Chapter

Dislaimer: I don't own NGE, and I'll never own it. Next time I'll skip these disclaimers.

Kaoru and Rei, they were standing in front of Toji and Asuka. Shinji was lying on the ground, he fainted after he saw Kaoru. 

"Welcome back, Wondergirl" Asuka said very mockingly. "I believe you two know more about all of this, so start explaining. 

Oh, and who are you supposed to be, by the way." She pointed to Kaoru

Kaoru smirked and answered, "I am Nagisa Kaoru, nice to meet you, Sohryu-san."

"And how do you know my name ?"

"Well, you and the other Children, as you were called, were quite famous."

Asuka snorted arrogantly, "Well, ofcourse we were famous, me even more so."

"Ofcourse."

Toji, who was watching the exchange, dragged Shinji back inside.

Asuka frowned at him, "Why are you taking him inside, moron ?"

"I figured it's better to talk inside, and besides, it's not like we can leave with Shinji like this, can we ?"

Kaoru spoke up, "I agree." 

Asuka walked inside, pushing Toji out of her way. 

Kaoru turned to Rei, "Shouldn't you talk some more, Rei ? It's actually quite educational, you'll learn more about them."

Rei didn't respond for a few seconds, "I might try it, Nagisa-kun."

"A I said before, Rei, call me Kaoru."

Toji, who was quite annoyed for being ignored by all of them, skope up, "Listen, I could use some help with Shinji here, ok ?"

"Ofcourse, Suzuhara-san."

"Call me Toji, ok ?"

"Very well, Toji-kun."

Toji stared at Kaoru a little puzzled but shrugged it off.

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They were all seated on the ground around a table. Asuka was angrily glaring at Rei for some reason. 

Kaoru had a big smile on his face, which he had for some time now. Toji was waiting for Shinji to come 

by so he was more at ease. Rei was, well, doing nothing. 

Toji spoke nervously, trying to break the silence, "Too bad the TV doesn't work, huh ?"

Kaoru, not knowing what he was talking about, asked, "TV ?"

Toji, seeing that what he was trying to do, ended up silencing him, since he didn't know how to act toward Kaoru.

'What a weird guy, grey hair, red eyes. And I think he's gay too.'

Asuka, watching the jock making a fool of himself and watching a puzzled Kaoru, groaned.

Rei, on the other hand, knew what a TV was, thanks to Gendo Ikari. 

"They use TV for entertainment."

"Entertainment ? There's much to learn about the lilum."

Toji and Asuka spoke up at the same time, "Lilum ?"

"I mean Humanity, ofcourse."

Asuka suddenly started asking, "Hey, aren't you two supposed to be dead ? You were killed by Shinji, right ? 

How come you came back ? Answer me ! How will everyone come back ?"

Kaoru, with his smile returned, answered, "Well, we came back because we needed to and we weren't exactly dead. We are both angels. 

Rei is part angel and part human. I am part angel and also part human."

Asuka knew of this and motioned to Kaoru to continue after saying, "Rei, is a clone. They extracted cells from Shinji's mom, right ?"

"I believe so, I don't know which cells they used to clone me. I only know we are both cloned from Lilith. Thanks to Lilith, 

Rei and I are still alive. And thanks to Lilith, you are still alive. I don't know more, I'm sorry."

Shinji woke up and yawned while getting up. While rubbing his eyes he tried to see who the people were in front of him.

"Kaoru-kun ?"

"Shinji-kun."

"Yu-you're really here, Kaoru !"

"Indeed, I'm back and this time, I won't leave."

"Ikari-kun."

"Ayanami, you're back too !"

"Yes. Ikari-kun, Nagisa-kun and I need to explain important matters."

"Uh, I'm listening."

"Shinji, you're an idiot."

"Shinji, can you make dinner ?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

During dinner, Kaoru and Rei sat apart from the other three.

"This is good, Ikari !"

Asuka was just quickly filling her mouth. 

"Thanks, Toji."

Shinji began eating too, eyeing Toji and Asuka while taking his first bite.

Shinji looked at Kaoru and looked really happy. He was happy Kaoru came back. 

He felt less depressed about Kaoru's death now that he is alive.

And he also felt less depressed about Toji and Asuka, now that they were both perfectly fine.

Rei was also back, although she was supposed to be merged with Lilith. 

Things were looking up. But now that Shinji knew the truth behind Kaoru and Rei, they creep him out a bit. 

"So they are both part angel.."

I wish Misato was here too, and maybe Kaji or even Kensuke…

Toji was happy. Happy he could eat at moments like these, and especially when the food was this good. 

He didn't understand anything about Kaoru or Rei. Then again, he didn't understand Shinji or Asuka either.

'Kaoru, he is really strange. And he's always smiling. Rei is, as always the silent one. 

I think someone should talk to her. Shinji is like he's always been. 

Silent and always with a sad look in his eyes. When I saw Asuka for the first time I was surprised. She wasn't Asuka at all. 

To be honest I was even more scared of her than usual. But she's still a red devil.'

Asuka was thinking more and more about her past. Even if she didn't want it, the memories just kept swimming inside of her head. 

The way she knew life was just horrible.

'Life is a bitch. Just like I am…'

Asuka looked at Shinji carefully using his fork to eat.

'The baka has no reason to look depressed. Although I haven't ever seen him look different. I should be the one who's depressed. 

But I am strong, unlike Shinji.'

Asuka looked at Rei and Kaoru.

'Wondergirl. She's a clone, she doesn't even really live. She's created and creations don't last as long as a humans life. 

And then the other angel, Kaoru. I bet he's also created. And he's even more strange than wonderdoll, even though he talks a lot more.'

Kaoru was eating with a big smirk on his face, noticing that some of the others were eyeing him. 

'Lilum, they know so much already and yet they keep being curious.'

Rei was eating her food and, wasn't doing much next to that. She was looking at her food, was all. 

Toji was watching Asuka and Shinji and started speaking, "You know, for two people who lived together you guys don't talk much to each other, do you ?"

Shinji looked up, "......"

Asuka kept eating her food. "It's none of your business, dumb jock. Just eat and shut up, ok ?"

Toji, who was offended countered, "Hey, shut up yourself, you .., you…..Shinji, help me out here."

Shinji turned his attention from Toji to his food when Asuka got included.

Toji sighed, "Listen, man. I think you two need a serious talk with each other."

"Why ?" Shinji asked nervously.

"Because, you two obviously have some issues to sort out."

"Issues ? Shinji and I don't have anything to discuss, we're doing fine, even better without you."

Toji got mad, "Hey, every time you speak you insult me ! Do you have something against me ?!"

Asuka rolled her eyes, "Well, gee, let me think about that one.....mmm...Y.E.S."

Toji, with nothing left to say, began to eat again. But after ten seconds he started again.

"I think redhead here is lonely. Without Hikari or, who was that guy again ?"

Shinji: "Hm ?"

"You know, that guy Asuka was so in love with"

Asuka shot a warning glare at Shinji, but Shinji failed to notice. "Kaji ?"

"Yeah ! Kaji was it ! Without them Asuka is lonely. Or do you have anyone else who you miss ?"

Asuka slapped Toji hard and after that, she slapped Shinji "both of you shut up !"

Asuka thought about Toji's words nonetheless and suddenly watched Shinji quite sadly.

Shinji flinched every time he took a bite of his food because his cheek now hurt.

Toji stared destructively at Asuka, but noticed she was watching Shinji.

Kaoru suddenly spoke up, "After we have eaten, we, Rei and I, need to discuss important matters with you, considering our future."

Shinji looked nervously at Rei and Kaoru, as did Toji while it seemed Asuka was ignoring them and kept eating.

Shinji was staring at nothing, while being in deep thought.

'I wonder what Kaoru has to say. Maybe everyone can come back. If Misato could come back, Iwill be so happy..'

Asuka was still eating and it looked like she wasn't caring.

'I wonder....If the grey-haired guy has something important to say. 

Something is probably holding the other people back, so they can't come here. 

And I probably have to break that seal.'

Toji was eyeing the other people in the room. 

'What's up with them ? They're all deep in thought, except for Asuka, maybe. Rei always looks like she's thinking about something important. 

Kaoru really must have something important to say. But I don't think it's bad news, seeing that big smile of his.

Man, I don't know why, but I miss Marie..and father, a little.'

'Why is he smiling ? Nagisa-kun will tell about The Tree of Life, how it will take lifes and bring lives...' 

Were the only thought in the mind of Rei.

Kaoru was smiling inwardly and outwardly. 'To be positive is important in times of sorrow. I don't think Lilum know this.'

Asuka suddenly stood up from her place. Only Shinji and Toji were startled. "Done. Now speak up."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the middle of the red wasteland, a big tree was glowing, as if it was expecting something to happen. 

The sea of LCL began to form large waves. A lightning bolt struck the tree. 

The red clouds in the sky were moving very rapidly. 

Whirlwinds were moving the sand. More lightning bolts followed.

It started to rain...

Miles further, a voice noted, "It's raining."

Asuka and Toji looked at Shinji, "Raining ?"

"Yeah, for the first time in...aah... how long ?"

"Long."

Kaoru spoke up after they had nothing more to say, "Let me begin."

Toji, Shinji and Asuka turned around.

Rei was watching them as Kaoru tried to begin.

"Well, if everything goes the right way. The people will come back."

"But ?"

Kaoru smiled. "But...at the cost of one life."

The three fell silent as they heard this.

"In front of the Tree Life, you three can make your wishes, but not everything can be wished ofcourse. 

Rei and I will become humans, we knew of this when we chose to come back here. 

When three wishes have been made, one last wish remains, which is bring back all humanity. 

The one who makes the wish will fall, but will be reborn, as the first child that will be brought in this new world."

The three remained silent, even Asuka.

"But after the three wishes, you don't have to make the last wish immediately. And you don't have to make the three wishes immediately. 

You three were chosen because there were three wishes to be made. The first three wishes can't be *bring back humanity.* 

You have enough time to think everything over, though."

Toji shot a cautious glance toward Kaoru. 'This sucks...'

"You three were chosen, because you had acted as saviours of Humanity. Now think...."

Asuka walked inside her room and shut the door. Toji and Shinji walked to Shinji's room ever so slowly and shut the door.

"Do you think I overdid it, Rei ?"

"You did what had to be done. You said what had to be said."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Asuka's room

Asuka was lying on her bed in a similar way to the 'Shinji' way: Facing the ceiling.

'Wishes ? What is this crap !? Can't they just let the others come back. Whose big idea was this ? 

Sure, you can make three wishes, but all three of them are useless. Which one of us will make the last wish. 

Well, we can wish back the most worthless person ever and make him make the last wish. 

Or is it also a rule that one of us three has to make the last wish. 

Should I make the last wish ? I don't think so. I'm needed here. I'm important here. 

Then again, so does Shinji and Toji. And that says a lot. But..What will I wish for ?'

Shinji's room

Shinji: ........

Toji: ........

In the beginning both of them were too afraid to actually say something.

Both were too busy inside of themselves, thinking.

'I should make the last wish. I'm the one that caused all this. This is all my fault. It's only fair if I make the last wish. 

And on top of that, I'm not needed here at all, not at all...' Were the thought in Shinji's head.

'This sucks....Why me ? I was only an EVA Pilot one day, for crying out loud ! Who will make that one last wish ? 

Hmm, can't I wish for immortality and them make the last wish ? 

That guy did notice something about not every wish being possible or something. 

So I guess that one's out. No use hoping for "maybe's" now. Now I know why Shinji always looks so sad. 

As if he knew something like this would happen.' 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rei and Kaoru were sitting in front of the TV.

"So, Rei, how does it work ?"

"Pilot Sohryu mentioned before that it was broken."

"Oh, how would it work then ?"

"A button. TV's have buttons."

"Buttons ?"

"Yes. And some sort of remote control. Also with buttons."

"Buttons, huh ? What about this one ?" Kaoru pressed a button on the TV.

"Nothing happened." Kaoru mentioned.

"Pilot Sohryu mentioned before that the TV was broken."

"Hmm."Kaoru paused. "What do you think they are thinking of now, Rei ?"

"I found out they like to change a future that is already sure to them."

"So they're thinking of ways to change the outcome ?"

"Yes."

"Well, I wish them good luck."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shinji's room

"So, what now ?" Toji began.

Shinji just remained silent or didn't hear him.

"Hey, Ikari !"

"Hm ?"

"What now ?"

Shinji thought about a reply but didn't think of anything.

Shinji: I don't know, Toji. I don't know..

Toji: You don't know ? You guys are used to situations like these, right ? Don't you have any solutions whatsoever ? A last resort of some kind ? Come on !

Shinji: Sorry.

Toji: This is not good. Even if Asuka would make the last wish, I would feel bad. I don't care much for her, but I care nonetheless. 

Shinji: Y-yes. I, I think I should make the last wish.\

Toji: What ?! You'll die !

Shinji: Someone has to do it...I..I just think...know it should be me. I...I mean, I caused it all.

Toji remained silent.

"You-You reap what you sow, right ?" Shinji said while shivering.

Toji remained silent.

Asuka's room

'One of us will die. Shinji....Me.....Toji.. Maybe we should all make the last wish. No regrets..I don't have anything to live for anyway. 

My..mother is gone, forever. But I can wish her back, or not ? Knowing my rotten luck, probably not. 

I can wish Kaji back before we make the last wish. But Kaji likes Misato, he probably loves her, too. So, I should make the last wish...

Can't Kaoru or Rei make the last wish ? But, even if they could, I'd still feel bad about it.'

Shinji's room

Toji: So...what will you wish for, Ikari ?

Shinji:.........I, I don't know. What about you, Toji ?

Toji: I'll wish...uuhmmm, I'll wish 

Shinji......

Toji: I'll wish Kensuke back !

Shinji: ....Really ?

Toji: Yeah !

Shinji: Why not your sister , fully healed, too ?

Toji:......Good question, but, my little sister is strong, unlike Kensuke.

Shinji: ......

Toji: My little sister will make it on her own, she doesn't need my help.

Shinji: ...Why Kensuke ?

Toji: He can help, figure out a way to avoid losing anyone for the last wish.

Shinji: .....I..Maybe..I…I'll wish Misato back.

Toji: Misato ? Good idea !! Or maybe you should wish your father back. I think he'd find a way to avoid all this. He's smart, right ?

Shinji: My father is a bastard. And he's not smart, he's stupid.

Toji: Anyway. Don't you think you should talk to Asuka ?

Shinji: ?

Toji: I mean, seriously 'talk.' You guys really need it.

Shinji: I, I don't think Asuka, agrees.

Toji: I'll talk to Kaoru, he must know more. Maybe there's another way. Let's go.

Shinji and Toji walked out of Shinji's room. Toji pushed Shinji against Asuka's door.

After a few seconds Asuka opened the door...

Toji walked ahead and sat beside Kaoru and to the opposite of Rei.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TBC


	4. Default Chapter

Toji sat beside Kaoru and stared gloomly at him. Kaoru didn't have a smile on him this time. 

Toji stayed silent for a few minutes and saw Shinji enter Asuka's room after Asuka opened.

'Good luck Shinji, you're going to need it..'

"So...Kaoru."

"Yes ?"

Toji paused, for a minute.

Toji: Well, isn't there another way !?

Kaoru: Yes, there is. But it is far worse than this one.

Toji: What do you mean ? Will anyone die in that way too.

"Not necessarily. You can see it as...a survival. 

A survival of the strongest, the fittest, the ones that will continue after facing problems beyond their imaginations. 

And in that way, it is a possibility, more people will die."

Toji: Elaborate more.

Kaoru: Well, you are able tomake the three wishes, the last wish can be made in two ways.

Toji: Why didn't you say that before ?!

Kaoru:Well, I simply chose the easiest way. Since Lilum usually take that path.

Toji: .........

Kaoru: But, the environment will change dramatically after the three wishes and the last wish.

Toji: What will be the last wish, then ?

Kaoru: "I wish to choose the path of Survival." ofcourse.

Toji: What do you mean 'ofcourse' ? How could I have known that ?

Kaoru: After that last wish, fiends will appear.

Toji: Fiends ?

"Yes, fiends. Basically, everyone that has ever troubled you, Shinji and Asuka will appear back here. And you will have to beat it. 

The ultimate Trial will take place. Your enemies will be the enemies you always had. 

But this time, they will try and kill you or take you away from the others. 

Other enemies are the angels. Me and Rei aren't included. Since we chose this path. 

We won't turn into humans, though. The last wish '' is required for that. You'll have to face 16 Angels. 

The first and the second being the two last ones. And, the last enemy is, yourself. 

You'll have to fight yourself, kill yourself, forgive yourself. Do it the right way, and you will be rewarded with one wish. 

That wish can be everything you want, like bring back humanity."

Toji: We'll take that way then. No matter how hard it is. We will make it through. 

Kaoru: ..Very well.

Toji: After the wish...we are granted after that. Will you become humans then ?

Kaoru: Possibly, though not for certain.

Toji: I see. I am sorry, Kaoru, Rei

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shinji entered Asuka's room with an uneasy feeling. He had no idea what to say. He only knew they had to talk. But about what he had no clue. 

"What do you want ?"

Shinji looked at a quite devestated Asuka. He wasn't used to her being like this and glanced sideways and replied, "I, I wanted to talk, Asuka."

"Well talk away."

Shinji's lips were trembling as he began, "I...I just.....*He swallowed*...wanted to say I'm...sorry, for everything."

"You're sorry. I already knew that, Shinji. Since you have mentioned it countless times before. Anything else ?"

"I ! I....I will make the last wish.."

Asuka looked up for the first time, she was seated at her bed. She looked up to Shinji with a puzzled and curious stare.

"You-You'll make the wish ? I was thinking I should make the wish.."

Now Shinji was puzzled and horrified, 

"Y-You ? Why you ? You have so much to live for, Asuka...I...I don't, so...I should.."

"Ha ! I have so much to live for ? Well, I can't blame you, since you don't know anything about me. But my reasons to live are starting to fade out too."

"What do you mean ? You can have a future, Asuka !"

"What, and you can't ?"

"No, I can't. Third Impact...it was my fault. All of this, is my fault. So... I should end it all as well."

"Hmm, What about the jock ? Did he propose to make the last wish as well ?"

"N-No, none of this was ever his concern...so..."

"I should've known. Oh well..But, we've got time. A lot of time, to think everything over."

"Y-yeah.."

"Shinji ?"

Shinji noticed Asuka was about to change subjects. He recognised the tone of her voice. 

So he prepared himself for whatever was to come and closed his eyes.

"Y..Yeah ?"

"I...hunn..I"

Shinji never heard Asuka hesitate ever before and opened his eyes in curiosity.

He saw Asuka staring at him and was startled by it.

"Well, I'll tell you...someday...baka.."

Shinji frowned, not knowing what was going on. He really wanted to know what Asuka had to say.

And his curiosity went up sky high with how she mntioned the word 'baka.' He looked at her back, which was now turned to him. 

He remembered Toji's words and his own words in his mind. He decided he should really talk to her.

"Asuka ?"

"What ?"

"I..wanted to tell you more things. But..it's, difficult.."

Asuka's curiosity was now shown as she turned around.

"Well, speak up.."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Where's Shinji-kun, Toji-kun ?"

"He's with Asuka. Uh, Kaoru, could you just call me Toji ?"

"I thought I already was ?"

"Ah, without the 'kun.' It kinda freaks me out."

"Very well."

"What is Ikari-kun doing ?" Rei spoke up.

"He's talking to Asuka."

Kaoru was looking intriged, "Shinji-kun, is talking to Sohryu-san ?"

"Yep, at least I think he's trying to, weird, huh ?"

"Why are they not talking here ?" Rei spoke up again, with no emotion.

"Uuh, I don't know, actually. I think you need to be them to understand."

Kaoru put his thumb on his cheek, "Hmm, I believe you are right, Toji."

Toji looked indignant, "Well, ofcourse I am."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Well, Speak up."

"Uhmm, well, I, uh, I just, a-anno, I wanted to say,"

"Hurry up, Ikari, the suspension's killing me. Well, not really. It's actually boring me..but, hurry up."

"I..."

A knock on the door interrupted them, "Ikari ? Come on. Let's go for a walk outside !"

Shinji and Asuka didn't answer him and continued to look at each other.

Asuka noticed Shinji was blushing, in fact, he was blushing the entire time.

'Why is he so red ? What's got him all in a fuss ? He'll have to tell me later. I'm really curious as to what he's got to say. 

It's the first time I'm nervous of what Shinji's gonna say...but why ? I shouldn't let it bother me..but since one of us will die together with the last wish...

He might have something important to say. I wonder...Well, I almost messed up before, too, because of the situation we're in..

I almost said....well, since one of us will die, might as wellsay it, right ? It doens't matter how the other will react. Is it possible he hates me ? 

It is possible, considering what i've done to him..Yet, I wonder..'

Toji knocked the door again, "Ikari !! You still alive in there ?"

"Uh, Asuka...Could we...finish this...some other time ?"

"Sure..."

Shinji stepped outside while being in deep thought.

'I wonder...how will she react ? I mean, she does hate me, after all..But still...It could...no, it can't..one of us will die...'

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Toji and Shinji went for a walk outside as soon as the raining stopped. 

"Ikari."

"Yeah ?"

"Guess what ?"

"What ?"

"I..I freaking found out another way !!A sollution ! A solutiuon for all of this !"

"Wha-what do you mean !!"

"Well, uh..It's a really long story..And I don't know if I can tell it the way Kaoru did to me."

"I've got time.."

"Well, here goes !"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rei and Kaoru were talking about Kaoru revelations.

"Nagisa-kun. Why did you tell them about the other way ?"

"Well. I learned a few emotions, Rei. Like compassion.."

"...."

"I've learned a few emotions. Pity, curiosity, sadness and even love, I think"

"I ..... don't know emotions"

"Ofcourse you do, Rei. You have curiosity. I witnessed it. And you care for them. I've seen it. You don't show it easily, You don't even know it yourself. "

"I, think I care...for Ikari-kun..Suzuhara-kun once told me this.."

"Yes, you care for him. But you also care for the others. I mean, would youlet them die if you could prevent it ?"

".....No."

"See what I mean ?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Toji !! Are you sure !! "

"Absolutely ! Kaoru told me this, so it's gotta be true !"

"This, this is great !!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shinji 

My wish is......bring Misato back. I've thought of it for a long time. Misato is one of the most important people to me. She's like a mother, a sister and a dear friend. I recently found out Asuka doesn't like Misato-san as much as I do. I told her what my wish would be, her reaction was the biggest groan I ever heard. She mentioned about bringing Kaji back, or maybe Hikari. I think she'll wish Kaji back, since she loves him so much....

Asuka....The first time I found out I cared for her really deeply, I thought it was too late. It was when the U.N Forces attacked NERV. I saw Evangelion Unit 02 severely damaged on the ground. And with the way thing looked back then, Asuka was dead....When I realised that was a logical conclusion, I broke down, and everything went black for a while. I think Evangelion Unit 01went into Berserk-Mode again. But I'm not sure. When I woke up, after Third Impact, when I saw Asuka lay next to me, I was terrified. Terrified and happy at the same time. After a while I figured more things out. Asuka hates me, she likes Kaji, Kaji likes Misato and Misato likes Kaji. Even if Asuka for some reason likes me, I'd still be second choice. I so do not want to be second choice. So it's best to just give up in liking Asuka. 

Ayanami...When I first saw her, I was mesmerised. But, next to being beautiful, she is also cold and...kind of, like Asuka says, emotionless. Since she came back from wherever she was, she is even more quiet than she used to be. 

Asuka and Rei...they are both so different, not at all the same. Asuka hates Rei, Rei doesn't seem to care about Asuka. In my eyes, that's even worse. I like both girls, but both girls don't like me. Maybe I should wish for a girl who likes me. That would be kind of selfish...

I'm glad Toji came back, although I don't see why he came back. He has nothing to do with this. He has suffered even more than me. He almost lost his sister. And after that he almost lost himself. And both were my fault. Because I was too hesitant, too scared, too cowardly...Maybe, it's about..time..I, change..

Kaoru...he really came back. It was so...weird. He looks the same as ever. I'm so at ease because he's here. If he wasn't here I probably wouldn't be here anymore. I'm so glad he's still alive. A tiny part of the depression that is my brained has been lightened.

Sometimes I see the looks of disappointment directed at me. I can't say I don't deserve them. They only come from Asuka and Toji. Kaoru and Rei don't seem to care. I just hope it's all over soon. I don't deserve to be alive anymore. I've lived long enough. Look at what my existence has caused. It has caused humanity's destruction. It had caused Third Impact. It had caused everyone's lives. 

..............I should be so proud..........

It's been a few days since I spoke with Asuka in her room. Ever since that event we've been avoiding each other. When Toji told Asuka about there being another way, I thought I saw her eyes sparkle, but I don't think that could be true. Ever since she's been avoiding me, or so I think. I shouldn't think such things, I don't even deserve her attention, or anyone else's for that matter.

Toji is the one who brings some happiness in the apartment. Or at least he tries to. He's screaming we should be happy and all the entire day. I try, but I fail. Like always...

Asuka

Another day in this hellhole. The stooge is once again trying to get our attention. 

He always fails and it seems I'm the only one who notices. 

Just looking at his face annoys me more then 

Shinji, being an idiot, is going to wish Misato back. Then everything's going down hill even more. 

And on top of that, he won't even talk to me, and he knows we have unfinished business to discuss. But apparently it isn't important to him cause he doesn't even bring it up. Well, if that's how he wants it, fine with me. 

I think I'll wish Kaji back. But then again, the idiot's gonna wish Misato back. So I might as well wish Hikari back. And knowing the damn jock he'll wish back his stooge-friend. Just great, the stooge-gang complete, even AFTER Third Impact. God must hate me.

That grey-haired guy freaks me out. And Shinji likes him so much, I'm beginning to think....no, he can't be. I've seen the way he looks at Misato and even wonderdoll in the class room. I wonder if he looks at me the same way ? He looks different at Kaoru.

Wondergirl is even more of a doll than ever. She didn't speak for two days long, on the third day, she said 'Thank you' to Shinji and Kaoru. She and Kaoru freak me out. They're both clones, angels. And they both died, Wonderdoll even more often. 

Shinji, he's annoying me more than usual. I can't find myself to talk to him. I didn't even call him names these last days. I think I have been ignoring him. I don't care, he ignores me so often.

But, we'll have to talk about the last talk one day...Well, not today, anyway.

Let's see, The group that will take "the Survival", or so Kaoru calls it, consists out of me, Shinji, Toji, Wonderboy and Wondergirl. Since Kaoru is pretty much the same as Rei, I should call him the same. It doesn't bother him, since he seems to smile every time I call him that. Nothing can annoy that guy...

The ones that are going to join us, could be Misato, Kaji/Hikari and possibly and probably Aida...

I know for sureI'm the one that suffers the most here. I've got no one to really talk to. I'm the only girl here. Well, I don't think Wondergirl counts as one. And there's nothing to do here. Maybe we should just wish three people back, stay in this apartment, make children and just bring the next generation in. I didn't like the people before anyway...

Toji

This is so boring...Maybe I should check where school used to be and see if I can still play a little basketball. Could be fun..If the school is still there, and someone comes with me, except for Kaoru. I don't really dislike the guy, but....I don't like him either. Something about him, just bugs me. Maybe I should try and understand him. Like I did with Ikari, I didn't like him at first either. 

Asuka's a pain in the ass. Everyone's acting so...annoying. Shinji's overly depressed...as always. Kaoru is always happy, even if Asuka yells at him. Rei is.....nothing, to be precisely. And Asuka is overly aggressive. Must be the talk she had with Shinji. 

I wonder, should I wish back Kensuke. Or maybe I should wish for my sister to have a long and happy life. She deserves it...That may be my wish, I'll have to think about it..

I wonder what Asuka will wish. I already know Shinji's gonna wish Misato-san back. Somehow I can't help but get extremely happy with that...Asuka's probably gonna wish someone back too. I wonder who ? Maybe the class rep. That would be........

Anyway, I'll ask Ikari to go with me to go to school. Knowing him, he doesn't even know what basketball is. Well, it gives me something to do. I'll learn it to him. Maybe Asuka will join us too.

Although I'm pretty sure that, if I'm going to ask her, I'll end up getting insulted a lot. 

Shinji and Asuka haven't talked to each other in two days, except for an occasional insult directed toward Shinji, or an apology directed at Asuka.

"Ikari ?"

I only called Shinji, but everyone looked up, except for Rei. Weird...

"Let's go out, k ?"

"Ah, sure."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was in the afternoon that Toji and Shinji were headed to school. The sky's still red, but it seems it's getting lighter every day.

Toji was looking at this red sky when he began to talk, "So,Ikari ?"

Shinji looked up after looking at the ground, "..Yeah..?"

"What's up between you and Asuka ? It seems you guys don't get along these last few days."

"When did we ?" He asked, almost annoyed.

Toji was surprised a little bit, but continued".....Good question, but now you two get along even less."

"I know."

"Do you care, Shinji ? Cause it sounds like you do."

"I...I don't know.."

"Well, think about it."

Toji stayed quiet for the coming five minutes, and Shinji, well when did he start a conversation...

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Asuka was in her room, lying on her bed. She wasn't asleep, but her eyes were closed. 

This just showed she was deep in thought. 

Her room was a real mess. Rei slept in Misato's room, together with Kaoru. 

Misato's room was even in worse shape, but the two of them didn't seem to care. 

Asuka had refused to have Rei sleep in her room. And Toji didn't want Kaoru in Shinji's room. 

She didn't know why and she didn't want to know it either. 

Asuka had remembered Rei talking only to the Commander and rarely to Shinji. 

But never to anyone else, unless she was ordered to. 

Now she doesn't even talk to Shinji anymore. She only talks to Kaoru.

'Everyone has someone to talk to. Even Wondergirl. But me ? I don't have anyone...I'll wish back Hikari..I won't be bored anymore that way. 

And Kaji'll just ignore me, like he always has..'

Kaoru and Rei sometimes talked to each other. But man, did they have long conversations. 

She didn't know Wondergirl could talk more than a full ten seconds, let alone a half hour.

One thing she did notice was, Kaoru and Rei always whispered to each other. 

And when one talks, the other one got his/hers eyes closed. Almost as if the one was comforting the other that way. 

Kaoru talked more than Rei, hell, he even talked more than her. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rei and Kaoru were in Misato's room, talking/whispering..

Rei spoke up, "Do you think they will survive ?"

"If we leave now, no...Maybe after the three wishes."

"Why ?"

"The three wishes will make them feel better, maybe more confident even."

"I see."

"They will probably wish for persons close to them."

"..."

"Rei, what would you wish, if you had the chance ?"

"I....would wish..."

"Would you wish back the Commander ?"

"No."

"Why not ?"

"His ways were wrong. He will try his ways again."

"Ofcourse."

"......"

"Rei, after the three wishes, it's best if we stay here for another week."

"Why ?"

"To get used, to get used to what has been wished."

"I see."

Kaoru closed his eyes and rested his arms behind his head after he lied down. 

"Nagisa-kun ?"

"Hmm ?"

"What would you wish ?"

"I would wish to become human..", He answered like it was a logical thing.

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Toji and Shinji were standing in front of their school. Both of them weren't wearing surprised looks.

"Well would you look at that. The one thing that tormented me more than anything still stands."

"School.."

"Indeed. I should've known", Toji frowned. 

"Yeah.." 

"Ready to shoot some hoops ?", Toji said with a grin, while cracking his knuckles.

Shinji looked genuinely curious, "Hoops ?"

Toji replied a little annoyed, "Play basketball, Ikari." And he frowned after.

"I...I never played basketball, actually."

"Well, would you be surprised if I said I should've known."

"Not really."

"I know. Let's see if we can find something useful inside. And above that, let's see if we can find a basketball."

"Okay."

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TBC


	5. Default Chapter

Shinji was in the kitchen, making breakfast. He had no idea how he was possible to do so, but apparently there was enough food. It was in the kitchen where he was most often happy these days. Cooking made him forget everything he did. The feeling after the cooking was finished was terrible, though. He had to confront the others. He had to talk, pay attention. Both things he didn't like. And above that, he still has to talk to Asuka. He was afraid, even more afraid than for angels. On the moment he was still cooking, once in a while hearing Toji and Asuka yelling at each other in the living room. No one ever bothered helping him cook, but he didn't mind. In fact, he was happy no one did, this way, he could enjoy cooking to the fullest. 

Outside it was raining. He heard the rain outside very clearly. It's beginning to rain more often these days. I kind of reflected the mood he was almost always in. He hadn't cried for months. The first month he was here, he cried almost every night. When Toji came back, he cried once in the night, thinking of what he had caused him. He could cry right now. He really felt like scum. He was busy with his knife, cutting come vegetables. He accidentally cut his finger. He looked at it and wondered if it actually was accidentally or on purpose. 

After 15 minutes dinner was done. He always regretted saying 'Dinner's done.' and he always waited to say it. When he said those words, everything will be back to normal, reality will take him away from his kitchen. He closed his eyes, brought his chin up and enjoyed the moment.

"Dinner's done !!"

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Toji, Asuka, Kaoru and Rei were playing cards on the floor. This is what they usually do these days, besides being alone in their own rooms. 

Toji: Hey, you cheated !!

Asuka: You wish, you just can't win ! 

Toji: What !? I could beat you any day !

Asuka: Jock, you haven't won a single time. Wonder girl has even won one time, and she doesn't even understand the game. I believe the only one who understands the game is me and wonderboy over there. 

Toji: That's because I felt sorry for Ayanami, and I feel sorry for you. I let you win.

Asuka: Is that a fact ? Well, let's do it again, then. Just to see who's the champ !

"Dinner's done !!"

Asuka: Consider yourself lucky, moron. You're saved by Shinji. I would've proven you way wrong.

Toji: Ha ! I don't think so ! I had good cards !

Asuka: According to you, you always have good cards. And you always lose, too.

Shinji came in with a few plates. He didn't make eye contact with anyone, the other ones tried, though. But he didn't realise and just put the plates on the little table. He returned to the kitchen.

After a while he came back in with the food, that's when everyone came toward the table and ate.

"Hmm ! This is good, Ikari !" Toji ate.

"Yes. Very good, Shinji-kun." Kaoru said, while taking a bite.

"Last time was better, though" Asuka said/yelled.

Shinji blushed at the compliments, he really hated confrontations, even if they were compliments.

He watched as everyone ate. Asuka and Toji were eating aggresively, Kaoru and Rei very carefully.

He shook his head slightly and walked to his room.

"Hey, ya not gonna eat ?" Toji yelled at the back from Shinji.

"No, I don't feel like it, really....sorry."

"Well, more for the others." Toji shrugged.

"You mean more for me !" Asuka took another full plate.

"Hey ! Leave some for me, will ya !"

Kaoru watched Toji and Asuka with a slight smile on his face. 

'Will Rei and I act like that, when we are humans ? Or will we remain the same.'

Rei, on the other hand, was watching Shinji, before he disappeared in his room.

'Something is bothering, Ikari-kun...'

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Shinji was sitting in his bed, back against the wall, his head in his hands. It's been two hoours since dinner and he hadn't changed his position. Then there was a soft knock on the door. He had no idea if he really heard it. After a second or two, he heard the knock again. He hesitated at first, but stood up on the ninth second and opened the door. His eyes widened a great deal as he saw Ayanami stand in front of him. She was a little taller than him, he noticed. He always considered himself very small.

"A-Ayanami..Uhh...What... ?"

"I came to talk, Ikari-kun."

"Talk ? About...what ?"

"About you...about me...and Third Impact.."

"O-oh."

"Do you understand Third Impact ?"

"Uhh, I think so..It means...humanity's end..and beginning, right ?"

"........"

"Third Impact...is a test, right ?" 

"....."

"I...I don't know Ayanami"

"I will explain.."

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Asuka came out of her room and saw Toji lying on the couch. "Hey, is Shinji in his room again ?" 

Toji woke up, "Hmm ?"

Asuka frowned at him, "Never mind, you moron. It's not like I don't already know." And seated herself on the other couch.

Toji opened his eyes a little more, "Already know what ?"

"Shut up, stooge, I already said 'never mind' so go back to sleep."

At that moment Kaoru came out of Misato's room. 

Asuka looked up to Kaoru, "Wonderboy."

Kaoru looked at Asuka with a smile and a frown, "Call me Kaoru, Asuka. I already said this."

"Asuka 'Hmph-ed' and folded her arms, "Where's Wondergirl ?"

"If by that you mean Rei, she's in Shinji-kun's room."

Kaoru now had Asuka's full attention, "What !?!? What did you say ?!"

Kaoru watched Asuka in a bored expression and repeated himself, "Rei's in Shinji-kun's room."

"Aargh !! That idiot ! Those idiots !"

Toji opened his eyes slightly again, "What's up ? Who's screaming ?"

Asuka grabbed his foot so Toji fell off the couch. "Shut up, stooge !"

Toji, now fully awake, was furious. "Hey !! What was that for !! You..you demon, couldn't you see I was asleep !!!"

Asuka ignored him and walked inside her own room.

Toji watched her leave and stomped his foot hard on the floor, "Tha...That BITCH !! What's wrong with her ! That actually hurt !" He said while feeling his butt, that was what he fell on.

Kaoru smiled and shrugged a bit. "I'm going out for a walk. Do you want to join me ?"

Toji, hesitating at first, frowned but complied, "Sure, I could use a walk, especially away from the redhead."

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"So, what I did, was........the right thing ?"

"Indeed."

"I..I don't understand, Ayanami. Everybody died because of my decision...and I did the right thing ?"

"Because of your decision, everyone can come back as well."

"But...But it's not for sure they will.."

"They will, if we do what we have to do."

"I, I don't know if I can...I might slow you down..or...even worse.."

"You'll do."

"I'll....do ?"

"Ikari-kun, you aren't as bad as you think you are."

"Ahh ?"

"Everything you did, you were forced to do."

Shinji seemed to think about that for a minute, "N-No ! Toji was my fault ! Kaoru was my fault ! Toji's sister was completely my fault !!"

"Think about it more...you'll see..it wasn't your fault."

Shinji's look showed a thousand more questions, but Rei left the room without another word.

Shinji wanted to say something, but couldn't and sat back on his bed. And so he started to think about everything again.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Rei came out of Shinji's room, Asuka came out of hers.

Asuka's head leaned a bit, as she stared at Rei, "Wondergirl.."

Rei stared back, red collides with blue, eyes/hair.

"What did you talk about ?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Toji and Kaoru both walked in a similar way, hands in pockets. They weren't heading anywhere. Just through the red streets. It rained a little bit, but both of them didn't mind enough to go back.

"Kaoru ?"

"Yes ?"

"What..I don't understand any of this, really. Can you explain everything to me ? About you and Rei. And about Shinji and Asuka ? I don't understand them. But all of you seem to understand me. I really feel like I don't belong here at all."

"You are quite important to them, Toji. They might not show it, but if you weren't here, they'd probably be even more depressed. Lilum like to be depressed, they especially like to pity themselves. I don't know why..maybe as an excuse."

"Kaoru, tell me everything. About you...and the others.."

"Very well."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Asuka and Rei were staring each other down. The room seemed to be spinning as they glared at each other.

"Well ? You gonna answer or what !?" Asuka commanded.

"It is not important to you, Pilot Sohryu."

"Let me decide if it's important, got it ? Now spill !"

"Ask him." Rei walked past Asuka and disappeared in Misato's room.

Asuka was extremely pissed at kicked the couch to release maybe 1 % of her frustration.

With that done, she opened Shinji's door and stepped inside.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So you don't know anything about your origin ?" Toji asked with caring look.

"No. I only now I am part of Lilith. Maybe I am also part of one of the members of SEELE."

"SEELE ?"

"A secret organisation. They, like Shinji-kun's father, planned for things after and before Third Impact."

"Oh. Tell me about Shinji's father. He's a bastard, isn't he ?"

"Maybe. It depends on who you are to him, actually."

"Explain, Kaoru."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shinji didn't notice Asuka's presence at first. He was too deep in thoughts to notice anything for that matter. Asuka was studying him with narrowed eyes. She was still very mad, mainly because of Rei.

Shinji noticed Asuka soon as one word left her mouth.

"Baka."

Shinji looked up immediately. To say he was scared would be an understatement. He tried to get further away from her. That there was a wall behind him, wasn't exactly helping. Asuka moved toward him slowly.

"Baka. It's about time we talk."

Shinji's eyes widened. He wasn't ready for this. He didn't even prepare for this. Since he arrived in Tokyo-III he wasn't prepared for anything. But that doesn't say he got used to it. His armpits were extremely wet as Asuka came closer. Eventually she seated herself on his bed.

"Shinji, about last time. Our last talk. You know what I mean."

"Uh !..Y-yeah." Shinji stuttered.

"I think we should continue..now" 

Shinji was nervous, he has never been so nervous as now. But, as he looked at Asuka, he noticed he wasn't the only nervous one. He was curious at to why she was so nervous. He never saw her nervous before. His lips were trembling. He wasn't ready for this. He was depressed enough as it is. And, and he wasn't even sure about his own feelings..

Asuka was nervous, but she noticed Shinji was more nervous, much more. Her lips were trembling a little bit, but Shinji's lips were like an earthquake. He's nervous, but why ? I know why I'm nervous.

He's probably afraid I'm going to hurt him again. He deserves it too. I don't know what he talked about with Rei, but I bet I'm not gonna like it. Since when did I care, anyway ? Shinji is even more pathetic than usual, if that's possible. 

"Shinji ? What did you and Rei talk about ?"

Shinji relaxed a bit. But he was nervous nonetheless. He didn't know why, but he knew Asuka hated Rei...a lot. 

Asuka noticed Shinji relaxed a bit. She was a bit relieved herself. Reading his expression, they hadn't had a serious conversation. But you never know..

"I..She...We, talked about..Third Impact."

Asuka frowned. "That's all ? Nothing else ?"

Shinji frowned as well, but was still nervous. It was Asuka who was sitting on his bed, you know ?

"N..no, nothing else."

Asuka smiled nervously, because they had more important matters to discuss.

Shinji saw Asuka smile and simply smiled as well. He didn't see Asuka smile often. But he loved it when she did. He also saw she was still nervous. Which meant she wasn't going to leave yet. And that meant they were going to continue to talk...

There was a long pause. During this pause Shinji remembered when Asuka removed the eyecap from her eye. She was so happy...for a day..cause she realized they were still stuck here. But...she was so happy...It was in the second month. He knew she was being nervous something bad happened to her eye. He really didn't care if something did. Nothing would change anything about her. She was strong, while he was weak. She would continue, no matter what happened to her.

The pause was over, as Asuka began.

"You, do you...I mean, I..want.."

Shinji was getting more nervous by the minute, this was Asuka, stuttering, that means she has something real important to say. Shinji began to sweat more as she prepared himself.

"Why don't you begin..baka.."

Oh noooo !......I....begin ? This is just getting worse and worse. I don't even know what I want to say..I 

want to tell her..I'm sorry....I'm sorry...So I begin with..I'm sorry ? She'll get mad if I do. I just know it. She hates me....so why is she so nervous ? I'm hesitating....The look in her eyes...I've never seen that look before...I think I've been silent for two minutes now , and she's starting to get impatient. 

"Baka. Are you going to stare..at me the entire time ?"

I blushed and replied with a desperate shake of my head. What I want to say is....will be....terrible, for me and probably a complete joke to her. I....I like Asuka...but she hates me, so it can never be...

Asuka was blushing too, but Shinji didn't notice. I don't know what to say to him. What I can say now is....all kinds of insults....But I'm tired of insulting him. I hope he can forgive me for it. Although it's kind of a habit to me. He must have gotten used to it. I hope he did. I....I like Kaji....But...I also like......Shinji..Weird enough, I like Shinji...enough to make me come talk to him. Will..will he hate me ? Can he hate me ? 

Shinji was as red as you can get. He was about to confess. And he knew he was going to get his heart broken. He heard Toji's and Kensuke's voice telling him not to say the words. Their words kept echoing through his mind, 'She's a demon, you're gonna die ! You're on yourself from now on ! Will you really betray us ?!?! Ikariii !! She'll kill you !! And only her words will do the trick !!'. Then Toji's voice came back in his mind, 'Ikari, do what you have to do..'

Shinji began whispering, "Asuka.."

Asuka's eyes and ears perked up a great deal. Shinji was about to tell what's on his mind, and somehow she thought it would be important...

"I...I like you, Asuka...I like you a lot..."

Asuka's eyes widened

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kaoru and Toji were walking through the abandoned streets where the shadows actually seemed to lighten up the place. Red is more often considered a more terrible color than black, although many will probably disagree. Toji is beginning to learn more about the others through Kaoru's words. Kaoru seemed to know everything. Asuka's past and Shinji's past is all common knowledge to him. Toji remembered Kensuke trying to figure out Shinji's past once, but he failed. Yet this guy knew everything. He learned Shinji and Asuka had a similar past, both were horrible. Toji's mother too died. But it wasn't like Shinji's or Asuka's at all. She died in an accident, or so he thought. He did not no much about his own mother's death, only that she was killed in a car accident, in Tokyo-III. 

"They lied to you, as well, Toji" Kaoru suddenly changed subjects.

"What do you mean, Kaoru ?" Toji asked with a frown.

"Your....mother." Kaoru hesitantly spoke.

"........Wha-WHAT do you know !!" Toji yelled.

"....." Kaoru didn't continue, but he did close his eyes.

"Tell me Kaoru. I always knew something was wrong....Tell me !!" Toji screamed.

Toji had stopped walking and was looking at Kaoru, who was still walking. He sreamed Kaoru's name several times and began to run after him.

"Kaoru....please, tell me.." Toji asked.

"I only know what I have read, Toji" Kaoru began.

Kaoru had been searching through NERV's files during his stay and found out everything. He would be considered the ultimate hacker. Rei could probably do the same. Hell, Rei probably knew even more about Toji's mother. 

"Your mother, also worked for NERV." Kaoru continued.

Toji's mother had a job similar to Maya Ibuki's. The only difference was, Toji's mother wasn't really doing her job. Instead, she too, was a hacker, and tried to found out everything about NERV, and eventually also found out about SEELE.

"She found out everything about NERV, but........she knew too much. " Kaoru stopped.

Toji understood Kaoru was finished, and he could finish the little story himself. NERV got rid of her... 

"I...I am sorry, Toji." Kaoru looked at him sadly.

".....I...I need a minute.......please.." Toji sat down on the pavement.

Toji began to cry a little. Kaoru didn't know what to do and just looked at him. After a little while, he too, sat on the pavement. 

'Lilum...they go through so much, they experience so much, the feeling is called grief, I believe. Lilum's greatest enemy is the last angel, the humans themselves..It is a fact.'

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rei was sitting in Misato's room. She was currently staring at herself, in Misato's mirror.

'Do I....Do I have feelings ?'

She did not remember having feelings before. Curiosity is the only feeling she thought she knew. Wanting to know, to learn, to touch. Curiosity turns into greed, the urge to have, to control. 

'I do not have the feeling greed.'

To be a human means having feelings. Sometimes Rei picked up flashbacks...from the previous Rei's, Rei I and Rei II. Rei II had the most interesting ones.

"I....cried ?"

Commander Ikari was the one she obeyed. Commander Ikari was everything to her, to all Rei's.

Ikari Shinji...Ikari-kun was...nothing to Rei I. In the end, everything to Rei II, and also to Rei III

'I care for Ikari-kun..'

To experience feelings, means you are a human.

'Am I capable of becoming a human ?'

She stopped looking at herself in the mirror and lay herself gently on Misato's bed. 

She wasn't looking at the ceiling, since she lay on her stomach, head on arms. 

'Curiosity, Compassion....Feelings I have...Do I also have....Love ?'

A picture of Shinji flashed before her eyes.

'Maybe I do...'

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shinji wasn't terrified or horrified, he wasn't scared, or so he hoped. He was only just about to break down and fall in a deep abyss, the dark corner called 'depression' in his mind. But this time, he won't escape from it.

That is, if it wa going the way he was expecting it to go. So, yes, he was terrified, horrified and scared. Sum those three feelings up, multiply it with a few thousands and you would have about a fraction of the tornado that was slowly watering his eyes and clouding his mind.

Asuka was silent, ofcourse, she was preparing herself for the biggest insult ever. And that one was going to be shot at his direction. Or....she was about to burst out laughing and was going to mock him forever. 

Asuka was frozen solid. She heard Shinji's words. But were they true ?Was he mocking her ? Seeing the look in his eyes, he wasn't. He was dead serious. Inside, Asuka's soul changed from dark grey to orange-yellow. But, confusion was overpowering her. Her own pride was changing her soul to dark red, or at least, it was trying to. 

Asuka's lips were trembling a bit. She had to reply, but she just didn't know what to say. She didn't like to be like this at all. Heartbeats of both children seemed to fill the room with their erratic sounds.

Shinji's eyes widened as Asuka...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Toji had calmed down a little bit and was standing up again. Kaoru was still sitting down, with his eyes closed, enjoying the wind that was blowing at his face.

"Hey. Kaoru. Let's go. I...I'm done. Let's go already, ok ?" Toji said.

"Very well." Kaoru responded.

"Do you think we're ready....to make the wishes ?" Toji asked.

Kaoru glanced sideways at Toji, "Yes, I think you are. Do you already know what you are going to wish ?"

Toji looked up at the sky and replied, "Yeah, I know."

"You are sure ?"

"Yeah."

"Then, you are ready."

They walked back to the apartment. Toji's mood was similar to Shinji's now. He was looking at his feet as he walked, like Shinji always does.

Kaoru had his hands in his pockets and had a sad smile on his face. 

"I wonder what's going on back home." Toji said.

"I wonder as well. Shinji-kun was talking to Sohryu-san,wasn't he ?" Kaoru stated.

Toji eyes widened, "You're right, I forgot. I really want to know what happened."

"Me as well" Kaoru said.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

......Ran Away

Shinji was dumbfounded. He had nothing to say to this reaction. He was very familiar with this action, though. It was, after all, one of HIS actions. He was still standing there. But Asuka wasn't.

She ran away, out his room, in her own room. Shinji's eyes were still wide open. He didn't know what this meant. 

'I guess....I should see it as a rejection....She felt pity for me, and didn't want to say 'no' in my face..'

Shinji threw himself on his bed.

'At least she didn't hit me. Although somehow, this hurts as well..'

Shinji was confused. Asuka never ran away from confrontations, unlike him. 

'Maybe I should just give up.....it's not like I expected her to fall in my arms.....did I ?'

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Asuka was in her room. Completely confused after Shinji's revelation. Her eyes were watering. But not for the reasons she usually had. This time, it was different. She felt.........happy. She hadn't felt happy for a long time. She had no reason to. Nothing went her way. It seemed everything went against her. As if the angels were only there to humiliate her in front of Mankind. 

'He.....he likes...likes me..a lot ? So.. he doesn't hate.....me ?'

She asked herself why she ran away. She had her reasons, ofcourse. She doubted Shinji was being serious. Although the look in his eyes kind of answered that.

'What, what if he was playing some kind of trick with me ? Shinji never did, so why would he now ? Still....If he really was for real...than I....than I will........come to him. '

Asuka hung her head low. She heard Kaoru and Toji were back. 

Shinji always annoyed Asuka, but he also made her feel comfortable. And he was....so..cautious. She liked him, that's one thing she knew. But she didn't think he would like her. Shinji's not that kind of guy that goes for the looks...and yet....he likes...me ? The one thing that Shinji lacked was confidence, and that wasn't really a problem, only in battles..But Shinji was also so gentle, so nice. And he never did anything wrong to her. She did to him, though. 

'Do I...deserve him ?'

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Toji and Kaoru came in just when Rei was about to knock on Shinji's door. 

"Hello, Rei. Aren't they talking anymore ?" Kaoru asked Rei.

"Pilot Sohryu left to her own room, I believe." Rei said in a monotone voice.

"Was she mad ?" Toji asked.

"I do not know." Rei responded.

Kaoru smiled, "Rei, would you be so kind as to tell Shinji we're going to make the wishes ?"

Toji frowned and glanced to his right, where Kaoru was standing.

'Why does he always talk like that ?' Toji thought

Rei blinked one time, but answered a micro-second later than she usually would, "I will."

'They're making the wishes faster than I expected they would' Rei thought.

Toji: You know, I don't understand her at all, Kaoru.

Kaoru: I........I don't either, actually.

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Shinji turned his head when he saw Rei enter her room. She hadn't knocked, just entered. He really didn't care about that, though. He was curious as to what Rei would say this time.

"...Ayanami.."

"Ikari-kun. I want to ask you something."

"Uh, ok.."

"What's love ?"

  
Shinji's eyes widened. He had no idea what love was. He never experienced nor received it. He looked at Ayanami nervously. What to say ? Does love actually have a meaning ? I never heard of it. 

"I..I don't know...I guess....when you feel love....you feel all warm, inside..maybe.."

"Do you think I love you ?"

"Uh !!"

".............."

If Shinji wasn't scared before, he certainly was now..

"Ikari-kun, do you love someone ?"

"I..I don't know..I don't think I...do."

"I feel warm when I look at you. Does this mean I love you ?"

Ayanami feels warm inside ? When she looks at me ? I never saw Ayanami make jokes before, is she now ? I...I think she's waiting for an answer..

"Nuh-NO !!"

"So, I don't love you ?"

"I...I don't think so...no one does, so.....I'm used to that,so...I don't know..I..uh."

"Do you love me, Ikari-kun ?"

"........."

Shinji collapsed. He fainted. He couldn't take it. Rei leaned over him and watched him. Rei believed Ikari-kun knew everything about emotions and feelings, since Kaoru was so impressed about it. But, she hadn't received any answers. She decided she should wait..

Shinji was on the floor, not on his bed. Rei seated herself on the bed and continued watching Shinji.

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"Did you hear something ?" Toji asked Kaoru.

Toji was half-asleep on the couch, while Kaoru was fully awake on the other.

"Yes, I did." Kaoru replied.

Toji didn't speak again, as he fell asleep. 

Kaoru, being bored, decided to play with a glass on the table. He used his AT-Field to see what would happen. In mere seconds, the glass was floating around in the living room. A few seconds later,it broke, the glass falling on the floor. Kaoru got up and cleaned the glass up. After that, he sat back on the couch and was bored again. He then noticed an instrument in the corner of the living room. Shinji's cello. During his stay in this household, he remembered that the cello was standing in Shinji's room, before Third Impact. Now it was here, in the living room. He began to play with the cello, with his AT-Field...

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Asuka heard something shatter in the living room. She shrugged it off.

'Probably the jock, letting another glass fall.'

She was still hesitating about going to Shinji and talk things out. In a way, she too hated confrontations. 

'I should talk it out with Shinji. But......not now. Maybe, after the wishes are made. Maybe I'll be ready then...I'm not sure.....he only said he liked me..a lot...but that doesn't mean anything..maybe it was sweet talk, before putting me down. Hmmm, somehow, I don't see Shinji doing such a thing.'

She heard a knock on the door, and a voice continued before she could answer.

"Asuka !! You in there ?! We're gonna make the wishes."

Asuka's eyes widened a bit as she heard Toji. 

"What !! Already ? I thought we had plenty of time !" Asuka screamed through the door.

"Yeah, well...I know my wish, and Shinji knows his. You don't know yours ?" Toji said.

"Ofcourse I already know what's mine ! I've been waiting for you to figure out yours the entire time !!"

"Then, what are you whining about !?" Toji asked.

"I'm NOT whining, you moron !" Asuka screamed, again.

Asuka stepped out of her room and stood face to face with Toji. 

"Let's go then, Jock." She said as she pushed him out of her way.

  
Toji frowned after her. "Stupid girl..."

"What ?!"

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Shinji had woken up on the floor. He didn't know why he was on the floor. All he knew was he was currently staring at a pair of shoes. Ordinary shoes. Asuka wore high heels, Toji wore gyms. So, this could be either Kaoru or Rei. Shinji noted he felt totally numb as he tried to get up. He was weak, he knew that. It took a lot out of him just to get up. He remembered Ayanami came a little while ago. Would still be here ? He looked up and saw two red ruby's invading his ordinary blue holes. At least, that was how the thought about them.

"A-Ayanami. You're...still here ?"

"Yes."

"Why ?"

"I still want to know what love is."

Shinji blinked, remembering why Ayanami came in his room in the first place.

"Uhh....Love is...."

"Do you not know ?" 

"I...no, I don't know, Ayanami.." He stated sadly.

"Are you...upset...you do not know ?"

"Y-yeah....everyone...knows what love is.." Shinji mumbled.

"I do not know. Only you and me do not know, then ?" 

"I....I think so.." Shinji said in a puzzled state.

Rei stood up from the bed and stared at Shinji, who was seated on the floor. 

"Then, there is nothing more I need to know. I shall leave."

"Uh....a-huh..?"

"Come with me, You and the others are going to make the wishes." 

"Na-NOW ?!" Shinji yelled.

"Yes."

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Five figures were now walking over the beach in front of the sea of LCL.

In the lead, there was Kaoru and Rei, who apparently knew the way, Asuka was following them, chin up, eyes closed. Occasionally opening them, to see where they were heading. In the back, Toji and Shinji were making small talk. 

"So, what happened Ikari ?" 

".....nothing, really.." 

"Ikari, you're a bad liar."

"........"

Shinji was looking at the ground, or at his shoes. Toji figured Shinji said something wrong. Shinji always speaks out the wrong words. And they tend to piss people off, especially Asuka. For example, after the Third Angel Attack. Where Toji hit Shinji for the second time. It was because Shinji just spoke out the wrong words.

"Just tell me what you said. You two are completely avoiding each other again."

"I....I said...I liked her.."

Toji stopped walking, while Shinji just continued. Toji's eyes were pretty wide open. And his mouth was open as well. He closed it as sand began to fly in with the wind. Toji continued walking, trying to catch up with the rest of them.

"You...you lied, right ?" Toji demanded the answer 'Yes.'

Shinji didn't answer.

"Tell me you lied..And maybe, Ill forgive you." 

"I didn't."

"You 'didn't' what ?Didn't Mean it ? or didn't lie ?"

"I.....I don't know, just...I don't want to alk about it right now, please, Toji ?"

"Ok, ok. I do hope you lied, though."

Asuka was not within hearing range so she didn't hear what Shinji and Toji were talking about. She did hear an occasional yell from Toji, which she found really annoying. Man, will she be happy when Hikari's here. 

'I'll bet the jock will be happy I'll wish back Hikari. For that reason, I just might not do it. But wishing Kaji back will be useless for me. Since...baka... is going to wish back Misato. So, Hikari, it is. I don't mind, in fact, I'm quite thrilled. When Hikari is here, I'll be much more at ease.'

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After 47 minutes, or so, of walking, they stood before the Tree of Life.

Kaoru and Rei were just standing there, waiting for the others to make their wishes. Kaoru, ofcourse, with some kind of smile on his face.

Meanwhile, the other three were hesitating. They began to discuss with each other. Toji was going to make the first wish. His wish was...Kensuke Aida. Asuka's wish after Toji's was, Hikari Horaki. And Shinji's was Misato Katsuragi

After Toji made his wish (..Bring back..uh.. Kensuke Aida..heh..) nothing happened. He shrugged, figuring it would happen after all three wishes were made, and walked back.

Asuka made her wish, and nothing happened. Shinji made his wish and nothing happened.

After about five minutes, it began raining. The sea of LCL was getting wilder and wilder. Thunder struck the Tree of Life several times.

Kaoru spoke with smirk on his face, "Here they....come..", it was almost humorous, the way he spoke.

"What the HELL is that ?!" Asuka yelled, pointing at misshaped, red...thing.

They soon noticed (ofcourse) two other ones. The three things soon formed themselves in a very puzzled and terrified Kensuke, Hikari and Misato..

TBC

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	6. Default Chapter

Asuka was helping Hikari back to the apartment. Shinji was helping Misato and Toji Kensuke, while taking his occasional glances to Hikari and Misato. Kaoru and Rei were just following them back. The three newcomers were exhausted and really needed the others' help to get to the apartment. And now two days have passed.

Asuka and Hikari were talking in the kitchen and the others were in the living room. Misato was in her own room, after hearing everything from the others. Kensuke was excited and Hikari was concerned.

"But you can't let Rei sleep with those four, can you ?" Hikari weakly stated.

"Hmph, I guess you have a point, I never thought Wondergirl was to sleep in MY room." Asuka whined.

"Well, you can't let her stay with THEM. Especially Kensuke."

"HEY ! I'm not like that !!" Kensuke reacted, after stepping in the kitchen.

"Four-eyes, mind your business !" Asuka screamed in his face, almost blowing Kensuke's glasses over his head.

"Hey, I think I'll decide that, red-" Kensuke responded very quickly, but was cut off by Hikari.

"Aida-kun !! Leave the kitchen, we're talking !!" Hikari screamed as well.

"Huh ? But..I just wanna get myself a drink.."

"Four-eyes, You wanna leave. Now !" Asuka threatened.

"Aida-kun. Can't you see we're talking ?" Hikari yelled, a little softer.

Kensuke's features showed a scared frown, now knowing what could happen if you piss off both Hikari and Asuka. He walked out of the kitchen slowly, trying to maintain what little proud he has. Asuka and Hikari watched him leave and continued their talk.

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Kensuke entered the living room again and saw Toji, Shinji and Kaoru discussing. Rei was sitting with them, but she wasn't discussing. Being curious, he joined them in seconds.

"So, what you guys talking about ?"

"We're talking about what'll happen next." Toji responded, after noticing Kensuke.

"Aah."

Toji still looked back at Kensuke, since he knew Kensuke would ask another thing.

"So, what will happen next, huh ?" 

"Uh, we will have to leave this place." Shinji said

"Oh."

"But we won't be alone outside." Toji continued.

"So, more people will come back ?" Kensuke asked.

"No." Shinji said seriously.

"But, we won't be alone ?" Kensuke continued his asking.

"No." Kaoru said.

Hikari and Asuka walked inside Asuka's room. Both of them glanced at the others before entering.

"So, what did you want to talk about that you couldn't talk about in the kitchen ?" 

"I, I need your help, I guess."

Hikari frowned. She never heard Asuka asking anyone for help. Her eyes widened a great deal when she heard Asuka ask for her help. But, being a good girlfriend, she responded, after 15 seconds of confusion.

"Uh, you need my..help ?"

"Well, not really. But I could use it."

Hikari smiled, recognising Asuka again.

"Ok. I'm here. What do you want to know ?" Hikari curiously started.

"Shinji." Asuka said.

"Shinji ?" Hikari said, confused again.

"...." Asuka stayed silent, hesitation very clearly in her eyes.

"Did...did he do something to you ?!" Hikari whispered hard.

"No !! Ofcourse not ! And what could he do against me, anyway ?" Asuka said annoyed.

"Well...ok, then, what's wrong with Shinji ?"

Asuka watched Hikari in narrowed eyes before answering, "He said.........he liked me...a lot."

Hikari froze, after hearing those words, after her eyes widened again and her mouth fell open. Hikari knew about Shinji that he was shy, not self-confident at all. And now she hears he told Asuka he likes her. Third Impact had changed him.........them.

"He said, he likes you ? A lot ? Shinji ?"

"Yeah.." 

"But, you don't like him, right ?"

"I..I don't know. That's why I need your help."

"You mean, you don't know if you like him ?"

"Yeah..I think so."

"But, you once said to me you didn't like Shinji at all."

"Well, at that time I didn't !"

"Ok, ok. But now, you don't know ?"

"No. Do you think he really...likes me ?"

"Well, Shinji's a lot, but I don't think he's a liar."

"Hmm. I just, can't help but think that he's toying with me or something."

"Shinji ? Toying ? And with YOU ? I thought you knew Shinji better than me." Hikari exclaimed wildly.

"I guess you're right." Asuka sighed.

In the living room, the others told Kensuke about everything. Well, Kaoru did. Toji and Shinji just listened to the story again as if they never heard it before. And Rei chose to observe everything. Kensuke was scared after hearing Kaoru telling everything. Even Toji and Shinji were a bit scared, as if they never heard it. After about five minutes of silence, Misato came through the door and walked straight to the kitchen,

"Is there any beer ?"

Kaoru, Shinji, Toji and Kensuke looked at each other and shrugged. Except for Kaoru. Rei observed and learned. 

"Hey, Kensuke, can you make that TV work ?"

Kensuke looked at Toji, than at the TV, "I'll see what I can do."

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"I don't know Shinji very well, Asuka. But I do know he rarely lies."

"I know that. But what if I took it the wrong way ?"

"The wrong way ? What do you mean ?"

"Well, maybe he just liked me, but didn't, you know, 'liked' me."

"Oh. I don't think Shinji thinks a lot about what he says."

"Exactly. Maybe he just blurted it out."

"I see what you mean. Maybe you should talk to him again."

"I don't know. Shinji's a wimp, but he's difficult to deal with."

"I know what you mean. Sometimes, he pushes people away, without even saying anything or even looking at them."

"Yeah. It's his attitude. He knows it and, in some way, I think he likes it."

"How can anyone like being left alone."

"Well. Sometimes I do."

"Hmm, I don't like to be alone at all."

"Anyway. What do I do Hikari ?"

"You need to talk to him. That's all."

"But, what do I say ? I shouldn't be talking about this at all. It's baka-Shinji we're talking about."

"Well, that maybe so, but apparently, you do have SOME feelings for him."

"Yeah. Maybe resentment."

"Maybe. Talk and you'll know, right ?"

"Hmm. Fine !"

"Hey, there's sound coming from the living room."

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Kaoru had a surprised frown on his face as he watched images dance around the window of the TV. He had no idea lilum had these kinds of things. Rei observed Kaoru's features with a curious look. Shinji, Toji and Kensuke were just bored and watched the TV. Misato was pissed off since there wasn't any beer in the house. She was groaning every minute, and whining about the beer every ten seconds. Toji and Kensuke were very happy Misato was here. And as she whined, they ogled her.

Asuka and Hikari came out. Seeing the couches were all full, they sat on the ground. 

Shinji was still trying to avoid Asuka, and she was trying too, he thought. He stared at her for a little while before turning his attention back to the TV, and before anyone caught him staring at her. He was happy Misato was back, but Misato was still a little depressed after everything. And he doubted he could be of much help. So he just decided to stay out of anyone's way, so he wouldn't be a bother. Asuka's mood has lightened up thanks to Hikari. He was glad for that. Now Asuka had someone to talk to. He did wonder why she didn't wish Kaji back. But he could never understand her, so why try ? He watched as Kaoru was really interested in how this TV worked, as he started asking Kensuke questions about it. Everyone rolled their eyes over Kaoru's questions, except for Rei and himself. 

Toji was staring at the TV, but his thoughts were elsewhere. He was really surprised Asuka wished Hikari back. He knew he had some kind of feeling for the class rep. But what that feeling was, he wasn't sure of. He only knew, Hikari probably didn't have the same feelings.. He noticed he thought a lot about Hikari since she came back. He could try and tell her, but he really wasn't in the mood to get yelled at. Or be humiliated and laughed at by Kensuke, or comforted by Shinji..

Kensuke was a little annoyed. Kaoru just kept asking him about the damn TV. He really wasn't in the mood to keep answering "that button turns up the volume" or something. Man, where did Kaoru come from ? Oh yeah, he's an angel...But Rei is the same as he. But Rei isn't throwing questions at me, I wish she did..I guess there will always be a difference between man and woman. Even with Angels. But why is Kaoru glowing like that ? Rei isn't..

Misato was the gloomiest of all. She was happy she saw Shinji and Asuka and the others again. But the situation was just so depressing. Everything was just doomed to fail. Like always... The angels coming back was not good at all. And losing Kaji will probably be used against her...again, just like in Instrumentality. 

Asuka was confused. She thought Hikari would tell her to shove Shinji aside. Well, she probably wouldn't if she did. But why she wouldn't was beyond her. Shinji didn't hate her, which meant there was a possibility he actually likes her. He already said he did, but in what way ? A friend, a lover, like family ? She wanted to know, and she wanted to know today. 

Hikari was confused as to why she was wished here. And she was really surprised when she saw Toji had his leg and arm back. But this survival...would she be strong enough ? Would she slow the others down ? No, she wasn't the class rep for nothing. She would probably be the one that was going to cheer everyone up. She occasionally glanced at Toji, when she was sure he or someone else wasn't watching. She always felt something for Toji. But, does he feel something for me ?

Kaoru was too interested in the dancing images on the TV to be thinking right now. He was watching a soap with wide eyes. Rei was observing the others, and she saw Shinji staring at Asuka, and Hikari at Toji. She also noticed Kensuke would watch her sometimes, after and before answering one Kaoru's questions.

Shinji had a little smile on his face as he remembered how things went two days ago. His own mind travelled back in time as he re-watched it all..

----

"Misato-san..Misato-san ! A-Are you okay ?!" Shinji screamed.

Misato watched the boy who was screaming in front of her and felt her own eyes widen as she recognised him. She cried in happiness as she hugged him. They fell to the ground as Misato lay on top of Shinji, hugging him.."Shinji-kun, Shinji-kun." She cried.. Shinji was smiling as he was being hugged by Misato. He was so glad she was still alive. He watched the others, Kensuke and Toji shaking hands, and Asuka and Hikari embracing each other. He smiled at the scene..

----

Shinji did not know when they were going to make the final wish, the path of survival.. But he hoped not too soon. He wanted to enjoy this for now. A few days without worry. Before they had to go and try to survive. This could be even harder then Third Impact. Or maybe this is still Third Impact. He didn't want to know, it didn't matter. Either way, the outcome didn't change. 

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Misato was almost asleep in her bed. She missed Kaji a lot. The answering machine still had the message on it. The words just kept echoing through her mind. The words made her cry, the words had made her cry ever since they appeared on the answering machine. And she was afraid she could never get over it. And she was supposed to be the adult one in the house. Overcome everything right ? Your own fears, your own faults, your own sins... Could she forgive herself ? Could she be of help to the others ? They had to fight angels again, but they won't have Eva's this time...It's just impossible. They're going to walk an impossible path.. But, she couldn't give up. She couldn't.. She had to be there for Shinji, and for Asuka... She will be there for them. She will make sure they will all be happy. She won't make any mistakes anymore. Not anymore. This time, they were going to make it. Even if she had to sacrifice herself so that the others can have a happy life. As long as they are happy, everything will be fine. "I wish Kaji was here" Misato groaned as she gripped her bed sheets and fell asleep..

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Shinji and Toji were the last ones who were awake, so it seemed. everyone went to sleep pretty early. Both were still watching TV, Kaoru was still awake a few minutes ago, he was very interested in the TV, but he too eventually went to bed. Rei went about an hour earlier than Kaoru. Asuka and Hikari hit the sack early, and Kensuke went to sleep when Rei did. Shinji and Toji were both not feeling sleepy at all. But they called it a day five minutes later anyway. Shinji went in the bathroom to brush his teeth before sleeping and Toji just got in the bedroom. 

When Shinji was finished and opened the bathroom door, he stood face to face with Asuka. Shinji turned from relaxed to scared as soon as she saw her. 

"Shinji ? Can we....talk ?" Asuka asked in her soft sweet voice, which Shinji rarely heard.

"Uhh...yeah, sure.." Shinji stuttered.

Shinji was once again, terrified. 

'She's probably really pissed at me....I...I don't think I can take this...She's going to reject me.. I can't believe I told her I liked her just like that...I should have thought about it more...Nu-now I'm dead' He was thinking as he looked at Asuka's back as they walked toward the couch in the living room. 'I'm even stuttering in my thoughts.. I must be pathetic..' was Shinji's final thought.

"Shinji ? About..what you said...a few nights ago..." Asuka began nervously.

"Ya-yeah ? Uh, I.." Shinji stuttered.

"I want to know ! Did you mean it ?!" Asuka demanded.

Shinji looked confused, "Uh...Whu...whi, what....?" 

Asuka looked annoyed, "Listen, I just want to know..... Do you really like me ?"

Instead of answering Asuka, he was thinking.'If..If I really like her ? If I say yes, she's going to embarrass me, if I say no, she 's going to hurt me....'

Shinji looked at her carefully, trying to read her. But he found it impossible to do. He had no idea what was going on inside her head.

Asuka couldn't stand the suspension. 'Why doesn't he just answer ?! A simple yes or no will do ! But no, Idiot must overreact again.. Aargh !'

"Yes."

Asuka's eyes widened. He finally answered. And the answer was "yes." And now here she was, standing in front of the boy. She tried so hard to prove herself to him, to Kaji, to NERV and to the world. But she wanted to prove herself to Shinji so bad it became one of her primary goals. And he liked her. He didn't hate her. He didn't hare her, even after all those slaps and insults, he didn't hate her.

"A-Asuka ? What about you ? Do..do you like me ?"

Now Asuka was the scared one. Could she tell him ? Would she tell him ? He did tell her he liked her, but could she tell him ? What would he do ? Laugh at her ? Hug her ? Mock her ? She sighed deeply as she decided. She prepared herself and sucked a lot of breath in before answering.

"Yes."

Shinji's eyes widened, his lips trembled. What was he supposed to do now ? Kiss her ? Hug her ? Uhh...shake hands ? Say 'Good night' ? His hands were clenching and unclenching in fists as he tried to do something. His mouth opened to say something, but closed again. And this went on for about five minutes. They kept staring at each other, in each other's eyes. Asuka's light blue meeting Shinji's dark blue. Shinji tried to take one step closer to Asuka, but hesitated. Asuka was convincing herself all will be right. Both had the same thought running through their minds, 'I hope I don't get hurt again...' And they continued to stare in each other's eyes. Hoping the other one would talk or do something first. 

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Asuka and Shinji were staring longingly at each other, but both were hesitating as in to make the first move. Both were staring at each other with unblinking eyes. Their lips were trembling, though. Shinji's fist was clenching and unclenching. Asuka's hands were a little shaky. Shinji was known as someone who would never start something. So why should he be the one that makes the first move ? Asuka wasn't like Shinji in that perspective, but she was too pride to make the first move. They've been staring at each other for 5 minutes now, neither of them moving an inch. And then, Shinji swallowed, His hands forming two clenched fists. And he made a few steps toward the fiery German.

Step by step, he came closer.

'Should I kiss her ? Should I hug her ? I..I don't know what to do, I'm moving toward her right now, but I don't know what I'm doing....'

"Ikari !! Where are you ?! Does it take that long for you to brush your teeth ?" This yell suddenly filled the air, as Toji was about to step out of Shinji's room.

Shinji's and Asuka's eyes widened. Shinji took a few steps back, but couldn't avoid Asuka's push. As Shinji fell to the ground and let out a slight yelp, Asuka winked at him before turning back to her room and whispered, "Serves you right, you pervert !!" 

Toji came out of Shinji's room and entered the living room. As he saw Shinji lying on the ground he frowned, "What are you doing, Shinji ?" 

Shinji looking up at Toji, who leaning above him, "Uh ?"

Toji shook his head and turned around, "I'm going to sleep now. Night" he said as he waved his hand once.

Shinji was confused as kept lying there. He stared up at the ceiling and wondered what just happened. Was it him, or was he just trying to kiss Asuka ? And....Asuka allowed him to ? But...Asuka loves Kaji.... She doesn't love me.. Do I love her ? 

Asuka closed the door to her room and saw Hikari and Rei were asleep. She quietly tiptoed to her bed and lied down. Was Shinji about to kiss her ? She thought as she, too, stared at the ceiling. So, Shinji DOES like me in that way ? Or doesn't he ? Was he just going to....do something else ? Like kiss my cheek and say goodnight ? Or embrace me in his arms ? Well…. at least we talked...

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Next morning..

Hikari was making breakfast, she always loved to make breakfast. It made her forget everything that has happened around her. And it made her think about what might still happen, about good things that might happen. She saw Rei and Kaoru wake up and she watched them as they seated their selves in front of the TV. She smiled a little smile as she saw Kaoru wonder what button to press to turn the TV on. She turned her attention back to the cooking. She knew Toji always slept long. He often comes late in school, and when he was in the hospital.....that time....he was almost always asleep, when she was there. Once did he wake up when she was there. One time... of all those times she visited him.. She could have told her feeling to him then and there, but, she didn't. Now she was back, and Toji was here as well. Was this her second chance ? What would his reaction be ? Would he laugh his silly laugh ? Or will he widen those dark brown eyes of his ? Or maybe...he would...hug her...

Misato woke up. Her room was a mess. Her clothes were everywhere. She felt something on her feet and noticed those were three bra's. She watched to her left and noticed a dirty sock, close to her face. The room represented her state of mind. She rose up and stepped on one of her high heels. Which, ofcourse, hurt. She growled as she threw the shoe away, only to find out she had to wear that one. She yawned before watching to her phone.. The phone that kept her lover's last message. The phone....that will never ring.. She put some clothes on and planned on stepping out of the room. Than she remembered there were kids there. Shinji and Asuka were used to this, but the others weren't. So she carefully picked out clothes to wear. After that, she stepped out of her room and went immediately for the beer. Ofcourse, there wasn't any... So she just sat down on a chair and watched Hikari make breakfast. Then she watched a clone and an angel watch TV...

Shinji, Kensuke and Toji were asleep, but didn't feel like facing reality just yet and remained in there beds. Kensuke and Toji were glad Misato had a few sleeping bags left somewhere in her room. Kaoru already left the room half an hour ago. They were still asleep when he went inside the living room. Now the three were just talking about the birds and the trees. They were all teasing each other. Kensuke and Toji were experts at doing that. Shinji, on the other hand, wasn't, and tried to stay silent as much as possible. And that's why he always gets teased the most. 

"So, Ikari ? What going on between you and the Demon, huh ? You two have been avoiding each other since I came here" Kensuke began.

Toji smirked, "That's right, Shinji. What's going on ?"

Shinji's eyes widened as he began to stutter a response, "Ah...a..I..No ! Nothing...is ..going...on.."

Kensuke smirked again, "Oh ? Then why isn't she insulting you every second of the day ?"

Shinji was actually surprised by that question. Kensuke's got a point. She hasn't insulted me the last couple of days.. So, what she said, could be true, then ? Shinji fell silent at the question. 

Kensuke and Toji looked at each other with a smirk as they saw Shinji fell silent. But both frowned as Shinji didn't answer them. Both sighed as they were used to this from The Third Child's attitude. 

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The three of them came out of Shinji's room together, bringing a lot of laughter with them. Misato smiled at Shinji's happiness, but then noticed her own headache again. Hikari noticed Toji and the other boys had woken up. Asuka was still asleep. She had to wake her up, because breakfast was almost done. Toji is his normal self. While he didn't change much after the incident -The 13th Angel attack- but he was kind of depressed. Like Shinji always is... Hikari hoped Asuka would talk to Shinji soon, cause Asuka wasn't her old self at all. And then there was Misato. She was probably feeling the same way as Shinji. Misato and Shinji were the two most depressed people here. And it seemed Asuka was following. 

Toji and Kensuke joined Kaoru and Rei, while Shinji went to talk with Misato. Shinji noticed Misato was a little down since she came back. And he knew it was probably about Kaji as well. Shinji was never good at comforting people. And on top of that, he was afraid of affection.. Kaworu pointed that out once... He really didn't want to remember what happened after that.. Now Misato needed his help.. but could he really help her ? She was the adult, how could he ever help an adult ?

Kensuke saw that the soap that was on today was the same as yesterday, Kaoru didn't seem to notice as he watched it like he has never seen it before. He looked at Rei and wondered why she was like she was. She hasn't changed, she was always quiet. And this thing about her being a clone, kinda freaked him out. But after this whole survival-thing, she could become human, again. Could..it's not sure if she will. It must feel bad to be a clone, to know that you're not the original, that you're not supposed to be here. He watched Rei for a long time. After a while, Rei looked back, right in his eyes, for a short time, say about three seconds, before turning her attention back to the TV. 

Toji noticed Kensuke's staring and grinned wickedly. He always thought Kensuke had a thing for Rei. And seeing as how he is staring at her, like that, it simply must be true. Well, he wished Kensuke good luck. Rei is...weird.. and probably very hard to talk with. He himself never tried, really. Shinji and Kaoru don't have trouble talking with her. He watched as Hikari walked toward Asuka's room, poked her head in there, and probably woke Asuka. Then she turned back, and yelled in the living room breakfast was done. 

"Misato-san ?" Shinji started nervously.

"Yes, Shinji-kun ?" Misato said, with her hand on her forehead.

"Are..are you okay ?" Shinji said looking worried.

"Yeah..just a headache." 

"...Oh.." Shinji said.

Shinji just kept his mouth shut. Cause every time he opened it, it seemed to cause nothing but pain or trouble. And besides, he did not have a clue as to what to say to Misato right now. And sometimes, people just want to be alone, he knew that like the best. Misato probably just want to be alone right now. So he ate from the plate Hikari just put in front of him. 

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Shinji, Toji, Kensuke and Kaoru were taking a walk outside. Kensuke decided to ask about what's been bugging him lately. 

"Kaoru, You and..Rei..are you sure you don't know if you'll become human again ?" 

"I am not sure, Kensuke-kun." 

"Why do you ask, Kensuke ?" Toji asked.

"I..I just wanted to know, Suzuhara !" Kensuke exclaimed.

"I think you like Ayanami !!" Toji laughed and grinned at the same time.

Kaoru turned his attention from the sky to Kensuke, and he had a very curious expression on his face.

"I..I don't, you idiot !" Kensuke screamed.

Kaoru and Shinji decided to just watch. Kensuke was pretty red in the cheeks. And Toji was laughing his ass off at Kensuke's discomfort.

"At least I don't like the class rep." Kensuke stated smugly, with his chin in the air and his eyes closed.

"What ?! Who ever said that !?" Toji said wide-eyed.

"Huh, No one. I just saw you staring at her a lot." Kensuke grinned.

Toji grinned as well, "Well, I think you stared at Rei way longer this morning !"

"You said 'Oh, Oh, Hikariii' in your sleep last night !!" Kensuke said while pointing his finger at Toji.

"Yeah right ! You're making this up, Aida !" Toji pointed back.

"Huh, why would I wanna do that ! I'm just pointing out the truth !" Kensuke turned his back at Toji.

"Because..because..because you don't have anything better to do !!" Kensuke turned around again.

"Hah ! I have plenty of things to do !" Kensuke pointed out.

"Oh yeah ? what, besides staring at Rei the entire day ?" Toji grinned.

"Like looking at you while you're making a fool out of yourself !"

Shinji and Kaoru were already several feet ahead, as Toji and Kensuke were still trying to beat each other. Shinji could use Kaworu's help with maybe Asuka or Misato.. Maybe he should just ask. Kaoru is a good friend. Shinji glanced at Kaoru and saw him staring at him as well. With a smirk on his face.

"Shinji-kun, what's wrong ? Are you not happy you're friends are back ? You don't seem very happy." Kaoru said smiling. 

"Uh, I..no, I'm happy..It's just..Misato, seems so depressed.. and Asuka, a little, as well." Shinji stuttered.

"Hmm, Katsuragi-san and Sohryu-san. They mean a lot to you, do they not ?" Kaoru asked.

"Yu-yeah..they do." Shinji responded.

"Then, you should help them, like they helped you. Don't think loneliness helps in dealing with a certain pain. Loneliness only makes things worse. So being alone, makes it all worse. Don't make them feel alone, Shinji-kun. And they will feel a little better. A little is better than not at all, is it not ?" Kaoru told.

"Ah...Yeah, I see...But, what can I do ? I'm..I'm a total mess myself...How can I ever help them ?" Shinji asked.

"Well, you do not know, unless you try, Shinji-kun. If you have tried, you are not to blame.." Kaoru said.

"A-oh.." Shinji sighed deeply.

"Hey man !! Can't you guys wait up !?!" Toji screamed in the distance.

Kaoru and Shinji stopped and allowed Toji to reach them. Kensuke was still in the distance, and a lot slower than Toji. Shinji, Kaoru and Toji were waiting, for a whole minute, until they saw Kensuke reaching them. "Would you hurry up already ?!" Toji screamed.

"Shut up !!" Kensuke screamed back.

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"So..he almost kissed you ?!?!" Hikari said with wide open eyes and wide open mouth. 

"Yeah, he almost, but your lover interrupted us !" Asuka said.

"You...you mean, Toji interrupted you ?" Hikari blushed slightly.

"Yeah, that jock is a nuisance." Asuka stated.

"Did he see... ?" Hikari began.

"No, he didn't, I was already gone when he came in." Asuka said.

"Oh." 

"Do you still feel anything for him ?" Asuka groaned.

"...Yeah.." Hikari blushed, again.

"Hmph ! I don't know why you like that jock !" Asuka exclaimed.

"Hey, you like Shinji !" Hikari shot back.

"Well, I don't..... That's different, ok ?" Asuka said.

"Actually, I don't think Shinji and Toji are a lot different from each other."

"What do you mean ?" Asuka asked.

Misato was watching TV, many channels weren't working, only one, where one episode of one soap kept repeating itself. She watched Rei and caught her staring at her. She blinked once. She never did understand Rei, but what was there to understand about a clone ? She just tried to ignore Rei. She didn't know how to talk to Rei. She did feel pity for the girl. She was used her entire life. Everyone in NERV was used, but Rei was used her entire life, if you can call what she had a life. Misato decided she needed to talk to the children and think of a way to actually survive the survival.

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Kaoru suddenly spoke up, silencing Toji and Kensuke, who were still arguing. 

"Listen, The Survival isn't that hard...physical...but it will be very hard for the mind. You probably won't die, but there is a possibility you'll go insane. You'll just have to prepare for that what is to come. The angels won't attack you physically. But, like the 15th Angel", he looked at Shinji, "Will attack you mentally.. This will be hard. but...just, don't give up. And more importantly, help each other..You're going to need each other.. Me and Rei will try to help too, since the angels won't attack us, but the other things out there will... But do not be too frightened. This will not get bloody.."

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TBC


	7. Default Chapter

Shinji and the others were on the way back to the apartment. Kaoru's little story didn't really help them, but it was better than what they thought. But it was still going to be hard. All of them were silent as they walked. Kaoru, this time, didn't have a smile on his face. He really didn't know how they would take this. Through his eyes, they should feel relief. Yet, they are silent still.. All of them had these feelings, feelings he could only wish he had. Maybe..maybe he will have these feelings as well, all of those feelings. 

Shinji was walking alongside Kaoru, head down, facing the ground. His thoughts weren't exactly focused on this survival-thing. But more on Asuka...He thought she hated him, but now....she liked him ? Was she playing another one of her games. No, she was sincere....wasn't she ? Shinji sighed, he never was sure about things in his life. He shook his head slightly as he disgusted himself again..

Toji and Kensuke were leading the way back. Both of them were silent. Both of them didn't know what to do. Kensuke was confused, scared, but excited too, at the same time. Toji was just trying to be neutral, but he was scared as well. As they neared the apartment, Kaoru spoke up. 

"I have more things to say, I will say them when we are inside. The others need to hear them too."

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Asuka and Hikari were seated on a chair next to the table, with some snacks. Misato was also seated there, and she was interested in what the two girls have been talking about so long lately. Rei was sitting on the couch with her hands on her right leg. And she was watching the TV. Or maybe her reflection in the TV. Misato decided to speak up. Asuka was staring at Rei with a not-understanding frown. And she didn't hear Misato speak. Hikari nudged her lightly in the side. But Misato started from the start again, as she noticed that Asuka wasn't paying attention. 

"I was wondering, Asuka, what's up with you ? You're not the Asuka I know. You're so silent."

"....Well, I went through Third Impact, ok ?! It CAN do something to someone, you know ?"

"Hmm. And what have you two been talking about all day ?" Misato asked with a little grin.

"Nothing of your concern." Asuka answered, before Hikari could say anything.

"I bet it's about one of the boys, huh ? Which one ?" Misato began.

"Hmph ! What ever gave you that bizarre idea, Misato ?" Asuka snorted.

"Well, for starters, Hikari is blushing...hmm ?" Misato smirked while examining Hikari's face a little closer.

"Hmph ! That doesn't say anything Misato. You're just embarrassing us again !" Asuka stated.

"OOh, but you're a little red as well, Asuka." Misato pointed out.

"Well, that's because I have red hair ! Those are just my magnificent looks you're looking at." Asuka said with closed eyes.

"Uh-huh.." Misato said with a frown.

A second later Kensuke and Toji stumbled through the front door, with Shinji and Kaoru behind them.

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"Shinji-kun, we have to talk." Misato said, as she stepped in front of Shinji, who was heading for the kitchen.

"O-ok, Misato-san..Uh..Now ?" He responded as he stared in her brown eyes.

"Yes. Now."

Misato and Shinji went inside Shinji's room to talk. Asuka followed them with her eyes, until they disappeared from her sight, with Hikari watching Asuka. 

Toji and Kensuke started to play a little game called "Rock, Paper, Scissors" and in the same time, taught it to Kaoru. Rei was paying attention to Kensuke.

Misato sat on one of the beds on the floor and beckoned Shinji to sit opposite of her. Shinji did so, almost without hesitating. 

"Shinji-kun ?"

"Uh, yes, Misato-san ?

"Are you alright ? I mean, is anything wrong ?"

"No... Why ?"

"I was just wondering.. You've been through a lot Shinji."

Shinji sighed, "Yeah... but...we have to do this.."

"Yeah, we do. Are you ready ?"

"Yes... I think I am."

Misato waited for Shinji to continue, she knew he still had something to say. Misato could read Shinji like a book. 

"I..I'm not sure, Misato-san. It's just... can I really do this ? Am I strong enough ?"

"You're strong enough, Shinji-kun.. You've fought angels, survived Third Impact and you even survived people who have been using you. You're strong...Shinji-kun, believe me."

"I..but...Third Impact, if I didn't was such a coward, this wouldn't have happened !"

"Shinji-kun.. At least we can still restore everything.. It was your courage that made that possible."

"My..my courage ? I don't have any courage, Misato-san.."

"Are you sure of that, Shinji ? Do you remember you jumped in the volcano ? Or when you fought every angel ? Come on, Shinji...this isn't all your fault. If you have to blame someone, at least blame your father.." Misato said as she began to hug Shinji.

"I...I.." Shinji shut himself up as he enjoyed Misato's embrace.

"Shinji-kun ? I'm sorry....for using you.."

Shinji's eyes widened. "Wha ? But, Misato, you didn't do anything wrong."

"I...I used you..to get back at all those damn angels..you knew that, right, Shinji-kun ?" Misato sobbed on Shinji's chest.

"But..No..You're..wrong..If you weren't like that, we would've never won...I think.."

"My father....Kaji..you..all used....by me.."

"No !! Misato-san !! You were used..too...by me...for comfort." Shinji stuttered.

"It...you can't compare that !!" 

"Misato-san...Thanks to you, I had a decent life, don't..don't feel sad...don't cry.."

Misato looked up from Shinji's chest "Did..did I make life easier for you, Shinji ?"

"Much easier." Shinji comforted.

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Misato and Shinji came out of Shinji's room after half an hour. The found Asuka staring at them curiously, while leaning against a wall with her arm folded. Next to her stood Hikari, who was looking at the others, who were playing Rock, Paper, Scissors. When Kaoru saw Shinji and Misato, he rose from the ground. Rei, who sat next to him, also rose. 

"Shall we make the wish, then ?"

Everyone's eyes widened, except for Rei and Kaoru's. 

"We are prepared enough for the quest."

"What are you talking about ?! We're a total mess !!" Asuka said, while pointing at Kaoru.

"We are ready." Rei said.

"We're ready ?" Toji mumbled confused..

"We won't have to fight, right ?" Kensuke asked.

"You are right." Rei said, staring at Kensuke, causing Kensuke to sweat.

"We are prepared enough. Mentally, you can't be hurt more than you already are. All the hurt will ofcourse be used against you. So, all I can say is, accept who you are and what made you like this, and you will do fine." Kaoru said with a small smirk.

"That's easy for you to say." Asuka said.

"Actually, it isn't. Since I and Rei are not as mentally damaged as all of you are, we will probably have it more problems. But we will survive. Simply because, we will." Kaoru smirked.

Asuka frowned at that, not understanding what he was babbling about. 

"What about us ?! And how are you so sure, anyway ?!" 

"You are well prepared." Rei spoke.

"Didn't I hear that before ?" Toji frowned.

"Well, let's go then. The sooner we get this over with, the better." Misato spoke, while stepping up to the front door.

"Good" Kaoru said.

Kensuke sighed worriedly. He wiped a little sweat from his forehead and adjusted his glasses before following the others out of the apartment. When he stood outside, he noted it was already dark. And it was kind of chilly as the wind blew through his curly hair. It took a while for him to notice the others were watching and waiting for him. He shrugged and joined the shivering group.

"So, what do we need to do, eh ?" Toji said glancing sideways to Kaoru.

"All that we need to do is make the wish. And then we need to survive."

"What if...what if one of us..doesn't..make it ?" Shinji spoke.

"Then, the rest of humanity can still come back. Let's not dwell on bad thoughts, Shinji-kun."

"O-ok." 

"Will everything change back to normal ? I mean, will Tokyo-III be Tokyo-III ?" Kensuke asked.

"Possibly, I honestly do not know."

"Oh. And what about the environment, will that be normal again ?" 

"Possibly." Kaoru answered.

"I just hope the food will taste better again." Toji spoke. 

After a while, they reached the Tree of Life. Kensuke was amazed by the sight, while Misato didn't seem interested. Hikari had a similar reaction to Kensuke's. While they came back on this spot, they haven't seen the big tree yet. Shinji and Asuka were avoiding each other, but occasionally they glanced at each other. Toji grinned about their situation, although he didn't know what it was all about. 

"Suzuhara-kun."

Toji turned around and found Rei staring at her. He also noticed the others had already continued and nearing the Tree of Life. So he and Rei were still back here. 

"Uhh, hi..."

"Why are you still here ?" Rei said, not asked.

"Uuh, I could ask you the same question.."

"I was waiting for you to move."

"Oh. Well, I was in deep thoughts.."

"Deep thoughts ?"

"Yeah."

"You were thinking ? About Ikari-kun ?"

"What makes you think that ?" Toji frowned.

"You were watching Ikari-kun."

"Oh. I, uh, I was just...amused..."

"Amused ? What is that ?"

Toji's frown deepened "Well, You know..You're amused when...You know ? When something is funny."

"Fun-ny ?"

Toji sighed "I was just watching Shinji do his regular things. And, in his case, it's often amusement."

"So, Ikari-kun is funny ?"

"Well, not exactly. But....Shinji has his ways of walking and talking..you know ? And those ways are funny."

"His walking and talking is what makes Ikari Ikari-kun. So, Ikari-kun is funny ?"

".....Fine, he's funny. Let's leave it at that."

"Ikari-kun is avoiding Pilot Sohryu." Rei spoke up, stopping the five second-silence.

"Uh..heh, you noticed, too ?"

"Yes. Why is he doing this ? Pilot Sohryu does the same, why is she doing this ?"

"Well, Maybe they resent each other very much..or they love each other and are in denial."

"Is that so ? So...Ikari-kun loves Pilot Sohryu ?"

"Hey, wait, I never said that !!"

"And Pilot Sohryu loves Ikari-kun ?"

"No ! I think they hate each other !"

"Do I love Ikari-kun ?"

"......Uh, hey, look, they're waiting for us !" Toji said, while pointing at the others, who were , indeed, waiting.

"I see."

As they were moving the opposite way of the apartment, Kaoru had a smirk on his face. Shinji, who was walking next to him noticed. 

"What's..wrong, Kaoru-kun ?" He began hesitantly.

"Does a smile mean something's wrong, Shinji-kun ?" Kaoru said, turning his head to Shinji.

An image of Gendo Ikari smirking shot through Shinji's head and it made him flinch.

"Well...it does, sometimes.." Shinji said.

"I see. I hope to find out how that came to be." Kaoru spoke with closed eyes as he enjoyed the rain falling on his face. 

"I...I hope you don't.." Shinji whispered, hoping Kaoru didn't hear. Kaoru did hear, but kept his eyes shut and widened his grin.

"A smile means something's wrong ?" Asuka suddenly spoke up, stuffing herself between Kaoru and Shinji. 

"I never knew smiles were bad things, Shinji." Asuka said.

"Uh..Well.." 

"You do not know either ? Then it is a secret Shinji has." Kaoru said.

"I really don't want to know what his secrets are." Asuka frowned.

"Everyone has secrets. And everyone has some they want no one to know."

Asuka and Shinji both flinched at Kaoru's remark.

"Ha, everyone wants to know about my secrets !!" Toji said.

"And mine too !!" Kensuke added.

"My secrets are so intriguing. You wanna know what I can do with only one thumb ?" Toji began enthusiastically.

"Oh, wait til you see how fast I can respond to anything !!" Kensuke added again.

"Why don't you try shutting up ?! Your incessant noise makes my hair look bad !"

Kensuke and Toji looked at each other "Your hair ?!" They spoke at the same time.

A fraction later, Kensuke found himself on top of Toji on the ground. He looked frantically for his glasses. They were handed to him by Hikari, who was shaking her head.

"I will make the damn wish !! If idiotic Shinji's gonna make the wish, we'll still be here tomorrow !" Asuka screeched, making Shinji flinch.

"Are you sure, Asuka ?" Misato asked, looking seriously at Asuka.

"I'm always sure !" Asuka exclaimed.

With that said, Asuka stomped in front of the tree, and screamed the wish,

"I wish to take the path of Survival !!" 

Silence fell upon them. Shinji was glancing at everyone without making his head move. Kensuke had his eyes closed and waited for whatever the thing was that was gonna strike him. Asuka had a serious look on her face as she glared upwards at the tree. Rei and Kaoru were both watching the tree slowly glow. Toji was scratching his left arm with his right hand. And Misato was watching Asuka. Everyone noticed that the tree suddenly lit up and how it faded. Seconds later, rain was dripping down on them. The Tree of Life had darkened a great deal, and it seemed to disappear. 

"Aw Man !! Did it have to rain !!" Toji whined, holding his jacket up to stop the rain from falling on his face. 

"Let's.....go." Kaoru said, with a little evil and amused grin. 

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"Adam..." 

Kaoru spoke it out in a sinister tone.

Misato's eyes widened, "Adam ?!"

A few hundred meters ahead they saw a very white figure walk toward them. After five scary minutes of loud exhaling and inhaling, the white figure stood in front of them. Although Kaoru did explain it would be different than they would expect. They definitely didn't expect a human-like figure. He looked quite a lot like Kaoru. 

"Tabris ?" It spoke, in a very odd voice. An old, voice, full of experience. Adam was changing his view from Kaoru to Rei.

"Lilith ?" 

"Yes, I am Tabris, Adam."

"Hmm.." He seemed to examine Rei further, apparently confused by her. 

"So be it. I did not come here to attack you. I only came to warn you."

"I already know of this." Kaoru said.

"Ofcourse. You have explained everything ?" Adam spoke, without moving or opening his mouth.

After a nod from Kaoru he continued "Then, I can only warn you for the 15th and 18th Test. They will be hard...especially for...them.."

"I see.." Kaoru said, obviously requiring new information.

"I bid you farewell...and good luck.."

Adam disappeared in the form of a dark little cloud, causing everyone to shiver..except for Kaoru and Rei, that is...

"Well, shall we continue ?" Kaoru spoke, silencing the silence.

"The wish is made, and already a few minutes later some weird guy appears. This is gonna be bad.." Kensuke said.

"Yeah, I agree. Shouldn't we have, like, weapons or something ?" Toji exclaimed

"We have no need for weapons. We will only be attacked mentally." Kaoru spoke.

"Oh. Right." Toji frowned, "Why do I still want weapons ?"

"Reassurance... Lilum likes to feel safe.. " Rei spoke.

"Indeed." Kaoru agreed.

"Yeah well, who wouldn't want to feel save right now ? I look at the sky and I feel like running to my...father.." Kensuke explained.

"Yeah, and it's not just the sky, even that sea is terrifying." Toji said, while pointing at the Sea of LCL.

"The wish has its influence and this environment." Kaoru explained.

"So, if we didn't make the last wish, like that, it would've looked better here ?" Shinji said.

"Indeed it would. " Kaoru said.

"Oh."

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In the mind of one..

Who am I ? I am I ? So I am two ? I against I ? Flesh in my flesh and mind in my mind ?

I am her, yet I am I ? She is I, yet she is her ? Am I me or Am I her ? Am I both ? Two of a kind ?

Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, Lilith.

Lilith ? I am Lilith, and Lilith is I ? Lilith is she, yet Lilith is me ? I am I, but I am Lilith ? 

Yui.

Yui ? I am Yui, yet Yui is I ? Yui is she, yet Yui is me ? I am I, but I am Yui ?

I am I, yet I am Lilith, yet I am Yui ? Three of a kind ? Will we survive ?

I am Ayanami Rei, I am a clone. I am designated pilot of Unit-01. I am the first, I am the Second, I am the third, yet...I am the fourth ?

I am Yui, I am Shinji's mother, I am Evangelion Unit 01. I am Gendo Rokubungi's wife. 

I am Lilith, designated controller of Third Impact. Mother of all, end to all.

I against I, flesh in my flesh and mind in my mind. Two of a kind, but one won't survive, my image is reflecting in the enemy's eye, and its image is reflecting in mine the same time.

This here is where it is gonna start now….

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Kaoru and, in a smaller extent Shinji, noticed Rei was acting more distant than ever.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kaoru and Shinji were glancing toward Rei once in a while. Both of them had noticed Rei had blinked her eyes continually ever since Adam appeared and left. Something was wrong and they could feel it. Kensuke and Toji were kicking rocks from the ground as they were following the others. And Asuka and Hikari were silently talking with each other, whispering. Both of them wondered why they were whispering.

"Shouldn't you be talking to Shinji ?" Hikari whispered. The two of them were walking at the end.

"Why should _I_ be talking to Shinji ?" Asuka whispered back.

"Well, for starters, you have feelings for him, REMEMBER ?" Hikari said annoyed.

"Then why aren't you talking to Toji, huh ?" Asuka smirked.

"Because, well,......at least Shinji has feelings for you too."

"Do you really think so ? Is the idiot capable of that ?"

"Do you think Toji...likes me ?"

"Talk to him and find out" Asuka snorted.

"No.. I don't think he likes me."

"If he doesn't like you, he's even more of an idiot I made out of him."

"...."

"I'm sure he likes you...he's been looking at you lately."

"He has ? How do you know."

"Let's just say, it's pretty hard to ignore such a big head like Toji has. And I've been watching for you." Asuka said, with her eyes closed, maybe ashamed of talking to Hikari like this.

"I'm sure Shinji likes you too, he's always staring at you."

"He is ?" Asuka looks at Shinji "He isn't now." Asuka pouted.

"I thought you didn't care ?" 

"I don't, but still.. Just talk to Toji already !"

"Hey, Rei stopped walking."

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Kaoru and Shinji prepared themselves as Rei stopped walking. They noticed her eyes were a little more red than usual. They were actually shining.

"Tabris.."

Kaoru blinked, after narrowing his eyes and thinking furiously he spoke, too.

"Lilith. Ofcourse.."

Rei smirked for a short second "I must decide now.. If I join you or leave you.."

"Don't you want to be human ? You are only part of Lilith."

"Yet I am Lilith."

"Ofcourse. There is no Lilith anymore. And you are the fourth, and the part of you that was Lilith, chose to take over."

"Correct. Thus, I am Lilith once again."

"What...what will you do ?"

"You know I can easily destroy these puny minds, Kaoru. But I will not, simply because...everyone deserves a second chance."

"You are a god indeed, Lilith."

"Tabris...I am Lilith, but I am also Rei and, in a much lesser extent Yui."

Shinji's ears perked up as he heard this. He stared at Rei with wide open eyes.

"Indeed, yet who do you want to be ?"

"I..I will be Rei.. And thus, Lilith will be no threat to you anymore."

"Thank you...Rei."

"I will be Rei, because, there is no other Rei anymore.. And Lilith and Yui are others, who have already existed.."

A female high-pitched scream filled the air, Rei screamed, and the earth trembled slightly. Rei was surrounded with white clouds. After a minute ot two, the clouds disappeared and Rei, the one and only Rei, had returned.

"I am Ayanami Rei."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the distance, the entire group saw a black cloud, making the red environment even more scarier than it already was. Kaoru spoke up :

"This is where it begins. I hope we do well. SACHIEL will attack us.."

"SACHIEL ?" Asuka frowned. "Never heard of it."

No one expected the cloud, that was miles away before, now hanging above them. A male, similar to Kaoru floated under the cloud, with a shiny smirk on his face. Unlike Kaoru's grey hair, SACHIEL had very dark hair, but he did have red eyes.

"Tabris.." And after looking at Rei, he hesitated, but said "You...you were Lilith ?"

And darkness surrounded them, ass all of them fell in a deep sleep.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kaoru found himself, floating in a tube. A voice suddenly spoke to him.

"Who are you, Tabris ? Are you a traitor ? Do you even deserve to live ? Look how your ah-so-nice Lilum treated you. Look at what you have become. I knew you, Tabris. But I don't know you, Kaoru Nagisa. Who are you ?"

"I am still Tabris."

"You say you are still Tabris. Why do you look so pathetic ?"

"You look the same."

"Third Impact forced me to look like this, and now I only have this attack left."

"I know."

"You should. Otherwise I would be forced to kill you."

"How ? You don't have most of your powers anymore."

".....You will get yours, Tabris. For your betrayal you shall pay."

"We will see, SACHIEL."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rei also found herself floating in a tube. And instead of seeing Gendo with a smirk in front of her, she saw someone else, but also with a smirk on his face. 

"Mother. You were Lilith, but not anymore ?"

"I am Rei Ayanami."

"Ah, yes. Rei Ayanami, merely a creation. You were made by Lilum. But who are you...really ?"

"I am no one...yet."

"You are no one, yet you are someone. Who are you ?"

"I am Rei Ayanami. I will be a human."

"Who are you ?"

"I am Rei Ayanami, I am Lilith, I am Yui."

"You are wrong. You are only Rei now."

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Ikari Shinji found himself on a bed, SDAT on, facing the ceiling. A powerful voice boomed through the music.

"Ikari Shinji. You are most interesting. You deny who you are, and yet, you are clear who you are. Very amusing indeed. Who are you ?"

"I am Ikari Shinji."

"Who is Ikari Shinji ?"

"A coward, a spineless weakling."

"Who is Ikari Shinji ?"

"A coward."

"Who is Ikari Shinji ?"

"A spineless weakling."

"Who is Ikari Shinji ?"

"Pilot of Evangelion Unit-01."

"Who is Ikari Shinji ?"

"A failure."

"Who are you ?"

"I..I don't understand this..What..who are you ?"

"I am SACHIEL, the Third Angel. YOU..killed me."

"Uh, I..I am sorry."

"Who is Ikari Shinji ?"

"Who am I ?"

"You are a saviour, Saviour of Lilum..."

"………"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Asuka Langley Sohryu found herself inside Evangelion Unit-02. 

"Asuka Langley Sohryu. You are most interesting. You prove to yourself who you are and you prove to others who you are, yet, this is not enough for you. Who are you ?"

"I am the best EVA Pilot there is ?"

"Who are you ?"

"I'm Asuka Langley Sohryu !!"

"Who are you ?"

"I'm the prettiest girl in school !"

"Who are you ?"

"I'm the smartest girl ever !!"

"Who are you ?"

"Why don't you shut up !! I already told you who I am !! Who the hell are you !!"

"I am SACHIEL, the Third Angel."

"The Third Angel ? Aren't you supposed to be dead ?"

"Who are you ?"

"HEY !! You already know who I am ?"

"Indeed, I know WHO you are, but do YOU know who you are ?"

"Ofcourse, only an idiot doesn't know who he is."

"Then, who are you ?"

"I..I am Asuka Langley Sohryu.." 

"A child..indeed"

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Misato Katsuragi found herself in a bed. And instead of finding a certain guy next to her, she found an answering machine next to her. She flinched when a voice boomed out of it.

"Misato Katsuragi, you ignore all life around you by searching for your own happiness. Lust-driven. "Who are you ?"

"I..I am Misato Katsuragi. And I'm the one who arranges all the angel's deaths."

"Who are you ?"

"I am Misato Katsuragi."

"A child you are."

"I am an adult !!"

"A child you are."

"Shut up !!"

"Who is Misato Katsuragi ?"

"I am a Major at NERV."

"Who is Misato Katsuragi ?"

"....."

"An always drunk and lazy woman."

"Hey ! That's not true !!"

A child you are.

"SHUT UP !!"

"Who are you ?"

"I am Misato Katsuragi, ok ?"

"Who is Misato Katsuragi ?"

".....An adult....child." Misato said, while softly sobbing.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Toji Suzuhara found himself in a hospital room. Instead of finding his little sister in the bed before him, he found his own EVA's head.

"Toji Suzuhara. Your mind filled with guilt and revenge. A combination gives a gentle young man. Who are you, Toji Suzuhara ?"

"I am Toji Suzuhara ! The best basketball player there is !"

"Who are you ?"

"I am Toji Suzuhara !"

"Who is Toji Suzuhara ?"

"I'm an EVA Pilot."

"Who is Toji Suzuhara ?"

"Brother to Marie."

"Who is Toji Suzuhara ?"

"A coward."

"Who is Toji Suzuhara ?"

"What the hell do you want me to say ?"

"You are a fine young man..."

"Huh ? What ?! Hey, answer me !! Where did you go !"

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Kensuke Aida found himself before a broken computer. The screen suddenly lit up, and Sachiel's face was showed.

"Kensuke Aida. Hacker, Pervert, but all in all, a good friend and a very ordinary human."

"Ordinary ? Hey, What do you mean by that !"

"Who are you, Kensuke Aida ?"

"I am the best hacker in Tokyo-III !"

"Who are you ?"

"I..I'm Misato's lover..."

"Who are you ?"

"Ok, the previous one was a lie."

"Who are you ?"

"I am Kensuke Aida !"

"Who is Kensuke Aida ?"

"Let's seee..Man...I'm sweating..where the hell am I ?!"

"No need to be frightened, human."

"So..you're not a human ?"

"I am an Angel."

"An ANGEL ?!?!"

"Correct, The Third Angel, Sachiel."

"A-huh. Heh..hi..And what do you want from me ?"

"Who is Kensuke Aida ?"

"Oh."

"Who is Kensuke Aida ?"

"I am a pervert, heh..hmm.."

"Who is Kensuke Aida ?"

"Who am I ?"

"You are a saviour.."

"HUH ?! WHAT ?!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hikari Horaki found herself in a kitchen. The only bad thing was that was nothing there.. Nothing but she herself and an empty room that felt like a kitchen.. 

"Hikari Horaki.."

"What ? Whu-who's there ?"

"Consider me...your conscience.."

"My conscience ?"

"Is it wrong to show your true emotions ?"

"No, why, I still don't..what is this !?"

"Is it wrong to show your true feelings ?"

"I don't understand, where are the others ?!"

"Do not worry."

For some reason the voice had soothed her enough to calm herself down.

"Is is wrong to show your true self ?"

"No, I don't think so.."

"Then why do you keep your emotions in check ?"

"Because, some things we must keep a secret."

"Secret ? Why do you keep secrets ?"

"To..to avoid being hurt or hurting another."

"Hmm..Who are you ?"

"I..I thought you knew...I am Hikari."

"Who are you ?"

"Oh ! Hikari Horaki."

"Who are you ?"

"Hikari Horaki, what do you mean ?"

"What are you ?"

"I..A human ?"

"What do you want to be ?"

"I want to be strong."

"Who are you ?"

"...But I'm weak.."

"What is it that makes you you ?"

"What ?"

"What is it that makes you you ?"

"..."

"You are more than ready, yet you do not deserve to go through this.."

"Uh, wat ?"

"Innocence is what you are."

".."

"Compassion is what you are ?"

"I..I don't understand."

"You will know soon enough."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Tabris, I must depart. You have a fine group here with you, they only need to be disciplined."

"Ofcourse."

"Farewell."

"Farewell."

SACHIEL disappeared.

Kaoru spoke up, the others were still asleep. "We had it easy this time. The next ones, though, will be much harder."

Rei slowly woke up. 

"Satisfied with yourself now, Rei ?" Kaoru asked.

"Yes."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TBC


	8. Default Chapter

Kaoru and Rei were the only ones awake at the time. The others were still asleep after the mental attack.. Everything went exactly as Kaoru thought it would be. But he didn't expect Rei to be Lilith, he had been foolish to forget such an important thing. Thankfully, Lilith hadn't attacked them. And now Rei is a human. He only wished he would be a human soon too. Rei was still acting like her normal monotone self. Even if she was human now, even Rei had to get used to the feeling, the feeling of overflowing emotions. God, how he wished he had these feelings. His wish was to have the same feeling that Shinji-kun had. He had so many of them, in fact Shinji probably had all of them. And Kaoru also wanted all of them. Rei will need help now, her curiosity will rise, and soon will possibly be the first time she will cry, she won't understand the feeling. 

'But....neither will I.. I am still an angel now. I will need help too.. If I were to become a human.'

'I am human now. Will I feel emotions now ?'

Rei was looking at her own hands, wondering what was different. After deciding she wouldn't find out, she still kept watching them. 

'I am Ayanami Rei.'

She turned her eyes away from her hands to the ground. Slowly she put her hands in the ground, wondering if it felt different. For the first time, Rei frowned, slightly, noticing the ground still felt the same. She wondered if anything will change inside of her. Suddenly, she felt very hungry, slowly stood up and went for one of the bags that had food in them.

Kaoru smiled as he saw Rei eat, and he smiled as the others were slowly waking up. He sighed silently, knowing they had to move on, he knew their reaction about it. Terrifying looks, scared looks. He did not understand this feeling they felt, the feeling 'fear', will he feel it as well ? Is it a reason for not wanting to be a human ? Asuka Langley Sohryu, The Second Children, she buried her own feelings deep inside of her. It doesn't matter for Kaoru, he could read them anyway. He knew she was very similar to Shinji. Pride and Innocence, will this make a good match ? 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shinji was completely confused when he woke up. The first thing he noticed was Asuka's foot on his face, and Kensuke's glasses right next to his eyes on the ground. He carefully pushed Asuka's foot away, hoping it wouldn't wake her up. Slowly he stood up, picked Kensuke's glasses up, before anyone could break them and put them on Kensuke, who was still sleeping. After doing that, he noticed Rei was eating and frowned. It was a weird sight, but he had seen her eat before, it was just, plain weird. He walked over to Kaoru, who was sitting on a rock, staring at the Sea of LCL. 

"Kaoru ? Do you...what happened ?" Shinji asked, while rubbing his still sleeping eyes.

"SACHIEL, The Third Angel. He attacked us." Kaoru said, with a neutral expression.

"He.. He attacked us ?" Shinji said, waking a little bit more up.

"Yes. But it was still a weak attack. Prepare yourself for the next ones." Kaoru said, still staring at the sea.

"Next ones ? There will be more ?" Shinji asked, fearing the already answered answer.

"Yes."

Asuka woke up, she looked at her feet and saw Hikari's face. She smiled a small smile. She rolled her eyes as she saw Toji's hand a little too close to Hikari's breast. She rolled her eyes again as she saw he was drooling in his sleep. As she stood up and walked toward Shinji, the only one who was awake, beside the two dull Rei and Kaoru. When she passed Toji, she stepped hard on his hand, that was almost reaching Hikari's breast. Toji, of course, yelled "Ouw !!" but didn't quite wake up... "Nani ?" Asuka rolled her eyes again and continued to lift her feet forward. 

"Baka... what the hell happened ?" Asuka said groggily.

Shinji noticed she was still half asleep, "I...Uh, Angel, attacked us.."

"Ba...ka, What kind of an answer is THAT ?!" Asuka said and almost yelled.

"UH ! Gomen !! But that's what happened !!" Shinji said, nervously.

"Shut up...I guess it was all a dream..." Asuka snorted, while frowning at Shinji.

"Shinji-kun is telling the truth, it was not a dream." Kaoru said, still looking at the sea.

"Ooh ? So Shinji's right ? That's a first !" Asuka said, quite annoyed, but more at Kaoru.

Shinji noticed Asuka wasn't much of a morning person. So he decided to just not talk before he got hit, or even worse..

Toji and Kensuke woke up about the same time. Toji saw Hikari next to him and threw himself away from her as fast as he could, with a very red head. The first thing Kensuke noticed was that his glasses were slightly damaged, but he could still see. He saw Toji standing up rather quickly, with a big blush across his face. He always thought he had something for the class rep, but he never knew for sure. Now, though, there was no question about it, Kensuke was a good, a very good observer. 

"Uh, I'm hungryy !!!" Toji yawned.

"You're always hungry.." Kensuke yawned with a bit of a groan attached.

"Well, I have to maintain my body status." Toji stated and smirked.

"What body status ?" Kensuke asked, but didn't wait for an answer as he walked straight to the others.

"Aren't we cranky !?" Toji screamed to Kensuke.

Misato was still asleep, and she snoring loudly. If anyone could sleep the longest, it surely would be Misato. 

Hikari woke up because a certain someone started to scream. She didn't wake up because of Misato's snoring, se was awkwardly used to the sound. With half-open eyes she saw it was Toji and groaned. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep again. After two minutes of silence, she heard Toji eat loudly. She tried to ignore it, but then Toji burped loudly and Hikari opened her eyes, "Hey !! Can't you be quiet !!?" Hikari really needed her sleep, and she had the weirdest dream too. "I'm trying to sleep here !!" 

Toji's eyes widened when he saw Hikari rise and scream at him. In some kind of weird way, he liked it when she got angry, even if he himself got hurt over it. He realized he had just burped, and because this was just a habit of his and went unnoticed by himself. 

"Gomen, Class Rep !! "

'Why isn't she waking Misato up ? She's snoring louder than my burping, Jeez..'

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kaoru hopped off of the rock he was sitting on and decided to tell the others what he knew.

"Listen." He began.

Toji frowned, looked at the bread in his hand, took a bite, and walked toward the others. Hikari also walked toward them. Shinji and Asuka shared a short glance at each other. Misato was still asleep, so Shinji decided to wake her up and walked over to her. Kensuke glanced at Toji who was still eating while he walked toward him and the others. Rei already knew what Kaoru was going to say and continued to stare at her own hands. 

"Misato-san... Misato-san.." Shinji whispered, while softly shaking Misato.

Misato snorted loudly in her sleep, add that to a groan and a snore, and you have the sounds Misato made.

"Misato-san... Misato-san.. Wake up, Misato-san.." Shinji said, shaking Misato a little more.

In her sleep, Misato pushed Shinji's face away, causing Shinji to fall on his back.

"..Ungg.." Shinji winced, as he felt the pain in his back. 

He stood up again, and this time he began shaking Misato a lot quicker.

"Misato-san, Wake up !!" Shinji said.

But it was to no avail, until Asuka started helping him out. She simply slapped Misato in the face, which caused Misato to wake up.

"And what do you say then, Shinji ?" Asuka said, chin up and arms folded.

"Uhh, Are you okay, Misato-san ?" Shinji said slowly moving his eyes from Asuka to Misato.

"Baka !!" Asuka spat out.

"Uh! Thank you, Asuka !" Shinji said, noticing Asuka's fist.

Asuka's fist formed into a normal hand again, "Better.." 

"Ah, where am I ?" Misato yawned.

So, after ten minutes of waiting til Misato woke up, Kaoru could begin to talk again.

"SACHIEL attacked us."

"Uh, am I wrong in saying you already said that ?" Toji frowned and had his arms folded.

"Stupid Jock !! You're stating the obvious, can it get any worse !?!" Asuka screamed.

"Hey !! Shut up and listen to him already, redhead !!" Toji shot back.

"Moron.." Asuka said, and had the last word.

"We'll have more attack like that. The only problem is, it will get worse.." Kaoru continued.

"Worse ?" Misato and Shinji asked.

"Yes. The 18 Angels shall attack. To test us, to see if lilum is worthy of living once again. We are the representatives of lilum."

"18 Angels ? I thought there were only 17 ?" Asuka asked.

"I never knew how many angels there were" Kensuke said and shared a shrug with Toji.

"There are 18 Angels. The last one is lilum itself." Kaoru said.

"But..you're the 17th, right ?" Shinji asked, with fear in his voice.

"Correct, and thus, I do not pose a threat to you, to us.." Kaoru reassured.

"What will happen now ?" Hikari asked.

"Everything will go in the same order as before...SHAMSEL will come now.." Kaoru said with closed eyes.

"When ?" Asuka asked.

"Anytime now..." Kaoru smirked a little evil smirk, he was clearly curious..

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Asuka and Shinji had decided to talk about...theirselves, after Kaoru had finished. And now they were alone, in front of the Sea of LCL. They walked a few minutes and left the others, so they couldn't interfere, this of course meaning it was Asuka's idea. 

"Shinji ?" Asuka spoke out hesitantly.

"Yeah ?" Shinji answered, fully prepared, or so he thought and hoped.

"About what happened, what has happened. You..you don't hate me ?" Asuka asked, not even daring to glance at Shinji.

"I...I don't..hate you, Asuka. I never did.." Shinji answered, hoping his response was good.

"....." Asuka stayed silent, it's been a while since she didn't know what to say.

"Do..do you..Hate..me ?" Shinji said, he really hated the word hate...

"...No...I've never hated you, Shinji" Asuka said, kicking a rock away from her feet.

"...O-ok.."

The two of them stayed silent, walking further ahead, Asuka staring at the ground, while Shinji stared toward the distance. 

Shinji didn't know what this meant. He didn't know if he had feelings for Asuka, well, maybe he did know, but he almost knew for sure Asuka was or toying with him or she DID have some sort of feeling for him. But how could she ? He condemned humanity.

'How could anyone feel something for me ?'

He glanced at her for a fraction of a second and noticed she was staring at the ground, like he usually did when he was walking. Shinji memorized what had happened when they were the only two here, on this hellhole..

'Might as well call this sick planet Shinji...' he thought

They didn't get along in the beginning. But they learned to live with each other...and now...it could be that they liked each other... 

'God, this must be a dream.' 

Asuka was staring at the ground, not even noticing little plants starting to grow. She was more focused on the feeling in her stomach. Somehow, it didn't feel all that bad. SHe did like Shinji, but did he like her ? Could he forgive her ? Could she forgive him ? She looked at herself and knew she hadn't showered in days...

'I smell...'

She was currently in her yellow sundress. Although it wasn't all that yellow anymore. 

"A-Asuka ?" Shinji said, while scratching his cheek.

"Yes ?" Asuka said, glancing at Shinji.

"What...what's going on ? I mean, between us ?" Shinji said, and stopped walking.

"I, I don't know, you tell me.." Asuka answered.

"But, I don't know either..." Shinji helplessly said.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Where did those two go to ?" Toji whined.

"Asuka's probably beating Shinji to a pulp right now." Kensuke smiled.

"Well, I don't know, they've been...weird.. lately." Toji said, while he lied down.

"You know, you're right ! They've been acting very off.." Kensuke said, landing himself next to Toji.

"Maybe, they have something, together.." Toji said, hesitantly.

"......." Kensuke's eyes widened.

"......." Toji's eyes widened.

For a full minute two screams were heard, Hikari and Misato winced. After a minute, the scream developed itself a laughter.

"Don't be stupid !! How can those two ever be together !" Kensuke screamed and laughed.

"You're right. I wasn't thinking !!" Toji said, chuckling nervously.

Hikari shook her head at the two, knowing what Asuka and Shinji were doing. She feared how the other two stooges would react if it DID work out between Asuka and Shinji. She hoped it would, if anyone deserves to be happy, it's those two. She sighed as she glanced toward Toji. When will she reveal her true feelings to him ? What will he say ? 

Misato noticed the glance Hikari shot toward Toji. Somehow, she couldn't help but recognize the glance. She herself had used it before. Maybe she could help...it will help taking her mind off things for a while..

Kaoru was never bored. He could always find something that was interesting. For example the feeling of the wind against his face. Or the sound of the sea. Or even a slowly moving cloud. All that was nothing compared to the human mind. When he saw emotions for the first time, he was terrified. Lorenz Keel was cold, mean and very intimidating. When he saw NERV's Commander, Ikari Gendo, he was not impressed. The coldness in Gendo was nothing compared to the coldness in Keel. All of his fear of emotions were washed away when he saw the emotions Ikari Shinji had. It was then that he wanted to have those emotions, those feelings. After that, he saw someone else just like him. Ayanami Rei. She also knew Ikari Shinji, but clearly she wasn't a complete angel. If she was, she had sensed what emotions rested beneath the surface of Ikari Shinji. And when Third Impact began, Rei felt Ikari Shinji in her heart, she felt his emotions. And so, Ikari Shinji had to decide what Humanity's fate was. So far, he had done very well..

Kensuke and Toji were making small talk while throwing small rocks, seeing who could throw the furthest..

"What..what did it say to you, Kensuke ?" Toji asked.

"It said..I was a saviour.." Kensuke said, frowning, throwing another rock.

Toji burst out laughing. "Wha ? A saviour ? You !? That Angel must be screwed up..." Toji laughed.

"Shut uup..What did it say to you, then ?" Kensuke said, narrowing his eyes behind his glasses.

"Well, it said _I_ was a Fine Young Man." Toji said, while looking smugly.

"Aah ? A fine young man ? The angel was probably sarcastic about it." Kensuke pointed out.

"Shut up !" Toji yelled.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Well ?" Asuka waited.

"I..I don't know..I..I.." Shinji stuttered.

"Ok, let's play rock, paper, scissors. The one who loses says what's on his or her mind, ok ?"

"But..I'm bad at it.." Shinji said.

"How can you be bad at Rock, Paper, Scissors !? It's all a matter of luck.." Asuka exclaimed.

"Or knowing your opponent.." Shinji said.

"Bullshit.. Now let's play."

The first time, both Shinji and Asuka had rock. The second time Asuka had, what looked like a scissor, while Shinji clearly had rock. But Asuka quickly said she had paper. And Shinji being Shinji chose to comply, Asuka said she was being nice when she found it a tie. The third time, Asuka......lost. She had paper, while Shinji had scissors. 

"Damn this !!! Let's pay another game !!" Asuka quickly said.

"But..but I won, right ?" Shinji pouted.

"....Fine, Third Children !!" Asuka yelled.

After that, silence fell upon them again. Shinji knew he didn't have to say anything and so he waited for Asuka to say what's on her mind. He was very afraid.

'She's probably gonna say: "I don't know what you're thinking, but I don't like you, got it ?!" or something like that.. this is gonna hurt...'

"Shinji." Asuka began.

"Uhh..hai ?" Shinji said/asked.

"I... I.... NO !!" Asuka stuttered and yelled.

"No ?" Shinji asked.

"First I have to know...you really don't hate me...for yelling at you, insulting you and all those other bad things.." Asuka summed up.

".But...I already said..I don't hate you, Asuka.." Shinji answered.

"So...can you forgive me then ?"

"I...Yes..I forgive you.." Shinji answered rather confused about all this.

"...Ok..." Asuka said.

"Ok...you forgive me..too ?." Shinji asked.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Shinji.."

"But..but, humanity died because of me.."

"It was the only way..but I forgive you, Shinji.."

"I..Thank you, Asuka.."

There was a moment of silence, but Asuka chose to break it faster than before.

"I....I think...I like you, Shinji.." Asuka stuttered, while blushing.

Shinji's mind was completely tossed around in every corner of his body. He didn't expect this. He did everything he could to stop himself from fainting. And Asuka was waiting for him...For HIM...this is too good to be true, even if it was a dream... This is a dream in a dream...

"Uh..Ah ?" Shinji stuttered.

Asuka was known to be very impatient. "Idiot, what are you doing staring at me like that ?"

Asuka was afraid too. She knew he didn't hate her, but did he like her ? Maybe she did the wrong thing...

Shinji tried to take control over himself, "I..Asuka...I like you too !!"

"O..Ok.." Asuka said, obviously perplexed.

"So..we..we like each other ?"

"Don't you think..don't you think you should kiss me now, Baka ???"

"I.. I .. I.. you won't hurt me ??"

"I won't...I won't hurt you...ever again...baka.."

Shinji hesitantly stepped closer to Asuka. Asuka stared at Shinji's eyes, and then his lips..

'Oh no, we both haven't brushed out teeth for days...' Asuka thought..

'My breath isn't all that good...' Shinji thought.

'..It doesn't matter, it's Shinji...' was Asuka's last thought.

'Should I still kiss her ??' Shinji thought.

"Kiss me already, Baka !!"

'Ok, that answered that..' was Shinji's final thought.

Shinji slowly and gently put his own lips on Asuka's, while Asuka forced Shinji's open. And so Asuka and Shinji had their first TRUE kiss...not like the one they shared to kill time...

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Two people were liplocked, and they were both enjoying it. Despite the not brushed teeth, they both enjoyed it. Asuka and Shinji had been kissing now for two minutes. Asuka wanted it to be like this, with no interruptions. She wanted to be alone with Shinji, to clear everything up between them. Maybe now, things were going to get easier. Shinji enjoyed every second of the kiss. He never expected, not even in his wildest dreams, he would be kissing Asuka, Asuka Langley Sohryu. He felt he didn't deserve this. He did, after all, destroy existence. But Asuka had forgiven him, maybe, just maybe, he could find or at least catch a glimpse of happiness. Shinji's arms both rested on the sides, while Asuka's were embracing him from the back. After these two minutes, he embraced her as well and continued to kiss.

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"I sense something is definitely wrong here." Kensuke said, while staring up at the sky with a big frown. Next to him, Toji was sitting, and staring toward Misato, Hikari and Rei. Kensuke looked from the corner of his eye at Toji. "Hey, did you hear me ?" Kensuke's frown grew even more.

Toji sighed deeply and looked at Kensuke, "No, what did you say ?"

Kensuke's reaction was a loud groan that even caught Kaoru's attention, but not Rei's. "I said, something senses really wrong here."

"Kensuke, everything's wrong here. I mean, look at the sky, once it was beautiful, but now, it sucks." Toji whined sadly.

"Yeah, but.. it's something else. I don't know, but I just thought you should know." Kensuke said, straightening his glasses. 

"Yeah sure. I hope things won't get worse then they already are." Toji said, looking straight ahead sadly.

Kensuke turned back to the sky "Yeah.." and sighed sadly.

"What do you think they're doing ?" Hikari asked, while cleaning some clothes in the sea they brought from the apartment. 

Misato, who was also cleaning some clothes, turned toward Hikari. "Who ?"

"Asuka and Shinji." Hikari said, while looking at the direction Shinji and Asuka left to.

"Asuka and Shinji ? I haven't talked much to them since.. well, since all this mess started." Misato said, slightly ashamed.

"I think they're in love..." Hikari said with a smile.

Misato frowned and her eyes widened a great deal, "WHAT !? What are you talking about ? Shinji.. and Asuka ? Those two don't get along, they don't get along at all."

"Well, I still think they are." Hikari said, still with a small smile.

Misato frowned, "You're crazy. And by the way, what's going on with you and Suzuhara ?"

Hikari's eyes widened and she developed a small blush, "Uh.. I don't know what you're talking about." She faked a very impressive frown.

"Well, he's been looking at this direction the entire time. I don't think, or at least I hope, he isn't watching me." Misato said with a smirk.

Hikari turned toward where Kensuke and Toji were sitting and stared right in Toji's stare toward her. Both Toji and Hikari immediately turned away, with a blush.

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'It seems they are revealing their true feeling toward each other... all of them. I knew this would happen, and I'm glad I was right. This might make our journey easier. Less harder for them.. and us. SHAMSHEL will pick out the weak from the strong. And he will wipe out the weak... Let's hope we are all strong enough for his tests..'

Kaoru continued to watch the moving clouds.

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"That was..." Asuka began.

"........" Shinji finished.

They were both now lying on the ground, staring up at the sky. 

"This feels good." Shinji whispered and looked from the corner of his eye at Asuka.

"Yes, it does. I'm.. I'm glad we worked everything out."

"To be honest.. I.. I never expected this, Asuka. I mean, you're Asuka. And.. and I'm.... Shinji.." Shinji said and ended with a whisper.

Asuka smiled. "You know, you're not that bad, Shinji. And, I mean it.." She said, with a little hesitation.

Shinji's eyes widened as he stared at Asuka, who was staring up at the sky. After two seconds he kept looking at her, but now with a small smile. 

'I never thought, not even in my wildest dreams, that this was possible. Just look at her, I'm starting to doubt if this place really IS that bad. I can't believe she actually.. LIKES.. me. '

Asuka looked at the corner from her eyes at Shinji as Shinji turned his stare from her to the sky. 

'Ikari Shinji. The boy with no spine unless it's needed from him. The boy with no guts, no courage and who's actually NOT a pervert. I bet he's romantic.. Someone like Shinji has to be.'

Two seconds later, both Shinj and Asuka screamed loud in pain.

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"Uh, was it my imagination, or did I just hear someone scream ?" Toji said, staring at all directions with a puzzled look while scratching his head with his hand.

"No, I heard something as well..." Kensuke said, looking at the direction Shinji and Asuka left to.

Misato's eyes widened, "Oh noo... Shinji and Asuka.." She whispered, before she ran off toward Shinji and Asuka's direction. Hikari, Toji and Kensuke followed her as fast as their legs could take them.

Rei and Kaoru looked at each other with all knowing smiles. They followed the others slowly with the same name in their mind: SHAMSHEL.

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Ikari Shinji found himself floating in thin air, similar to when he was talking to Rei/Lilith. The thought made him tremble and gave him goosebumps. He was actually glad before he got here, but now he just felt.. so alone.. But, he was used to this feeling and this made him strong.

"Ikari Shinji" A male voice boomed, which made Shinji's ears shake back and forth. 

Shinji responded boldly. "Wha-what ?!" Or he tried.

"What makes you you ?" The voice boomed a bit softer this time.

Shinji breathed heavily in and out. "I.. I don't understand !!"

Images of Asuka, Misato, Toji, Kensuke, Kaji, Hikari, Rei, Kaoru and other people Shinji knew appeared before him.

"Is it because of them you are what you are now ?" The voice asked, what almost sounded.. nice.

Because of the decrease of the threatening tone in the voice, Shinji calmed down. "I.. Yes. They've helped me, they helped me in believing in myself. They supported me, they.. they helped me.. " Shinji told, not really believing what he was saying.

"So, if they were not here, you would be, an empty vessel ?" The voice asked.

"I.. I guess." Shinji mumbled in disgust.

"Then, ask yourself, are you worthy of representing humanity ?"

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"Where.. where are they !!!" Misato yelled as she looked to her left and right and even up to the sky. 

"I.. I don't know !! They, they went this way !" Hikari yelled.

Toji and Kensuke frowned at each other as they didn't see anything. "Well, I sure as hell don't see anything and I bet Toji doesn't either."

"SHUT UP !!" Misato yelled. "Just find them !!"

"Do not worry." Rei said, making everyone flinch, except Kaoru, who stood beside her.

Kaoru smirked, "Yes. You have no need to worry. They are undergoing one of the 'Tests', and, I believe we are next, as soon as we come close to where Shinji and Asuka were. Since SHAMSHEL was with them, and probably still is."

"HE is here." Rei stated, while looking at the ground.

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"Asuka Langley Sohryu."

Asuka narrowed her eyes at the voice and observed her surroundings. "Who are you ?" She yelled dangerously.

"Hmm, call me Shamshel..." A small pause. "You are interesting."

Asuka frowned a big frown, "What ?! Of course I'm interesting !!"

"It's odd, but I don't think it is necessarily to ask you if you're worthy. Your pride already gives the answer.."

Asuka wore a puzzled look as she watched the darkness before her.

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Shinji tried his best to answer the question he was given, but he just couldn't answer. Did he really deserve to represent mankind ? Should he really be here ? It was HIS fault all this happened, if he wasn't here, maybe things would be easier for the others. Is there any reason he should stay here ? 

Asuka. He could stay for Asuka. To help her, if she even needed his help. It's more likely he needed her help. But, in some odd way, he wanted to stay, for Asuka. It felt like betrayal to him if he left the others, and especially Asuka, just like that. And he couldn't do that. So he must prove himself now, so he can stay..... for Asuka.

A chuckle filled the air, and awoke Shinji from his thinking. "You have no need to worry, Ikari Shinji. It seems you CAN give love after all. And you can give it like no other."

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"What do you mean, HE is here ?!?!" Misato screamed, jumping up and down in front of Rei.

"The next test. SHAMSHEL. He is here. Asuka and Shinji are being tested as we speak." Kaoru said, putting a hand on Misato's shoulder.

What should've clamed Misato down made her even more scared, "Asuka.. and Shinji.. are being tested right NOW !!!?"

"Yes." Rei seemed to wait for something before she continued. "And now we will be as well." She said in her eerie monotone voice.

A scary silence embraced Misato, Hikari, Rei, Kaoru, Kensuke and Toji. 

And then, 4 screams filled the air.

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Shinji and Asuka found themselves back on the beach, in exactly the same way they found each other in the start. Only this time, Asuka didn't have any injuries, and they were looking at each other, instead of up to the sky. 

"..Hi.. Asuka....." Shinji began, with a scared look on his face.

Asuka smiled gently, "Hey, you... Shall we get back to the others ?"

'.. I love Asuka's smile...'

Shinji smiled back, "Yeah.. let's go back."

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Kaoru smiled as he found himself in a tube once again, knowing Shamsel did this on purpose. This is the one thing that Kaoru actually hated. Being stuck in this ridiculous tube. 

"Tabris. Nice to see you." 

"Hmm. But I do not see you, Shamshel."

"Is it of importance that you can see me, Tabris ? To see me in a stupid human form ? I don't think so, and I am ashamed for the way I look. I can't understand that you like it."

"Well, it's a good thing that you don't have to, then."

"Perhaps. But tell me, do you really want to be one of THEM ? Weak little creatures who need each other to survive."

"Yes. Now you tell me, it really doesn't feel that bad in a human boy, does it ?"

"Be silent, traitor. You do not deserve to ask the questions now."

"......" Kaoru smiled sadly and shook his head.

"Now, look at where you are. In a tube, you're being toyed with by those stupid lilum. And you want to save them still ? You are a fool, Tabris.. and soon you will see all your mistakes and beg for forgiveness."

"We will see, Shamshel." Kaoru responded with a confident smirk on his face.

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"It amazes me..."

Rei seemed uninterested in who spoke out the words and stared straight ahead.

"You once were Lilith, yet now you are Ayanami Rei. Only a fool throws away a chance at being a god like Lilith. And that makes you the fool then, doesn't it ?".

Rei chose to ignore the speaker, and blinked occasionally.

"Hmm, It doesn't matter if you were Lilith, you still think Mankind deserves a second chance, and that's just wrong. Don't you understand why ? Lilum created you and abused you. They even abuse each other. Just look at the creatures you're traveling with. They are all pathetic, but they are pathetic because they have nothing. They have nothing because it has been taken from them by their fellow-creatures. And creatures like that don't deserve a second chance. Creatures that think that they should be on top or get what they deserve, using everything and everyone they can to reach it. Don't you see it's only a matter of time that conflicts will rise and develop in wars, which will destroy the lilum again.. Even after their seconds chance. It is hopeless, lilum is hopeless. Don't defend them, you'll only be disappointed by them. Leave them.."

A silence fell, and Shamshel waited for a response. 

"I can not. Everyone deserves a second chance."

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Misato was concerned for Shinji and Asuka before she came here, now she was still concerned for them, but also for herself.

"Misato Katsuragi. Tell me, do you think mankind can live on ? Even after all of this ?"

Misato narrowed her eyes and looked in one direction, "I.... I think they can."

"You think they can ? They couldn't even survive before. And you still think they can survive now ??"

"....." Misato chose to remain silent.

"Take a look at yourself. Every human will be like you right now. You're strong enough to break through, but most others aren't."

Misato swallowed deep before she replied, "No, I think, if they are told everything and they can try and understand work it out, then we can continue our lives. We can."

"..... Do you really believe that ?"

Misato swallowed again while lowering her stare to her feet, "I.. Yes. And I will prove to you that we can !!"

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Two people were walking over the beach, looking every direction, followed by a loud yell.

"Misato-san !!!" Shinji screamed.

"Hikari !!" Asuka screamed, to the opposite direction.

"They.. they are gone.." Shinji said, with a sad look.

Asuka turned her back to him and continued to scream, "Hikari !!!"

Shinji shrugged, "Toji !!! Kensuke !!!!"

"Hikari !!! Misato !!!"

"Kaoru-Kun !! Ayanami !!!"

Shinji watched as Asuka continued to scream her longs out. I still think they're gone..'

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Toji found himself in his room, with a basketball in his arms. The TV suddenly turned itself on, which startled Toji greatly and made him turn around. On the TV, A face, a scary face was shown, with a beard, a big mustache, and long, unwashed Dark brown hair. 

"Toji Suzuhara."

Toji frowned and tried not to faint, "Wha-.. Who the hell are YOU ?!?!"

"Are you worthy of representing humanity ?"

"Wha-?" Toji replied, obviously puzzled.

The man on the TV-screen sighed, "Are you worthy of representing humanity ?"

"I.. Of course !! I am Toji Suzuhara, I am a fine young man" Toji stated proudly.

"A fine young man, you say ? This may very well be, but do you think you deserve to talk for all mankind ?" 

"Mu-Me ?? I.. I think I am. No, I am !! You better not try those stupid mind tricks on me !!" Toji screamed at the TV.

"Mind tricks, you say ? I'm not doing anything. I'm just asking you, why would you want to save your kind ?"

Toji snorted and folded his arms, "Who wouldn't save their own kind ? Pride is the word you're looking for, or so I think. But I don't care. Why don't you just go and let us reach the end."

"I will leave, but I assure you, we will do everything we can to prevent that you'll reach the end."

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Kensuke, too, found himself in his own room, but he found himself in front of his own PC. And the same man Toji saw was now on the PC-screen. Kensuke stared at the face dumbfounded. 

"Uh, what.. what are you doing on my screen ?!?" Kensuke began.

"Can you tell me if humanity deserves a second chance, Kensuke Aida ?"

Kensuke took his time to answer. Shamshel chose to repeat his answer.

"Can you tell me if humanity deserves a second chance, Kensuke Aida ?"

Kensuke took his time again, but answered, "Ofcourse we deserve a second chance. Especially now, I mean, we weren't even told about all this, all you angels and all those other things !! We all should know the truth before we start over. And then you will see that we will use our second chance to make everything better !"

"Is that a fact ? Will humans not abuse one another again ? Will they not create wars and destruction ?"

Kensuke narrowed his eyes, "I.. Yeah, it's possible, but you should know that's only natural. We all want power, we all want to be mighty."

"Is that not bad ? Humans want the impossible, and they want it so much, they cause havoc and they will eventually cause their own extinction. So why bother giving you a second chance, lilum ?"

"I... I don't know... That's nature, but we can try to make it better."

"With rules ?? Rules only cause more problems, especially in a human's case."

".. I.. I hate to say it, but I agree with you. But we're still learning. Can't you.. you angels help us understand ?"

"There is only one thing to understand, and that's.. some things don't deserve second chances."

"You may be right. But we do deserve a second chance. I assure you, we can work it out."

"You are stubborn, human. But your own stubbornness is blinding you."

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"Hikari Horaki."

Hikari blinked and shook her head, as if trying to awake from a daydream.

"Hikari Horaki. Why are you here ? Do you really believe that you, and all the others can make it to the end ?"

Hikari sighed nervously, "Y-Yes. We can.... We.. we have each other.. and we know what happened and we're still trying to save mankind. Every other human would've done the same. Does that not convince you that we can survive life itself ?"

"Child, you do not even know what life itself is."

"Then tell me. Cause I do know that we can make it, that we can save everyone. So can't you stop trying to get in our way !!"

"I'm afraid we can't. Because we know what life is, and we know that humanity can't handle it. If you continue your silly quest, you'll only condemn yourselves. We are actually trying to save you."

"Save us ?? Even your talking hurts my head. And your All-knowing lectures hurt even more. You're trying to stop us from bringing back life, life that deserves to be brought back. And you're saving us by trying to stop us ?!"

"I see it has no point in talking to all of you. You refuse to listen to my words. You will pay for ignoring me."

And the lights went out.

Misato, Hikari, Toji, Kensuke, Rei and Kaoru found themselves on the beach, staring up at the sky.

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"Where the hell are they !!" Asuka screamed.

Shinji shrugged once more, "Asuka, maybe they went after us, and we missed them by walking to here."

"So you're saying we should walk all the way back !" She screamed, looking very tired from all the screaming.

"Uhh.." Shinji mumbled, wisely deciding not to say anything.

"Aargh !!" Asuka screeched, making the air around her flinch.

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TBC


	9. Default Chapter

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Evangelion, nor will I ever. Hmm, I do wonder if they actually check Disclaimers. *Shrugs* Oh well, not that it matters, typing in these few words shouldn't be a problem anyways.

To Start Over, Chapter 17.

"MISATOOO!!!!"

Shinji looked around as Asuka continued screaming in every direction. Shinji had to hold his hands on his ears to prevent them being hurt from the sound Asuka was emitting. 

"Asuka.. Do you…. Do you think they're gone?" Shinji let out, looking cautiously at the red-haired girl several feet beside him.

Asuka snorted. "You never know with those clumsy people!" 

Shinji looked sadly out of his eyes. "I hope not."

Asuka stared intently at Shinji, as if surprised by Shinji's statement. "…. I don't think they're gone." Asuka responded afterwards.

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Misato looked to her left. 'I'm sure I heard someone yell my name.'

"Follow me."

"Rei?" Misato let out surprised. They were the only ones here. Toji, Kensuke, Hikari and Kaoru were gone as well. 

"Where are the others, Rei?" Misato asked, slowly looking around.

"I don't know. But I know where Ikari-kun and Sohryu-san are." 

Misato frowned. 'She doesn't know where the others are, except Shinji and Asuka?'

"How come you only know where they are?"

Misato watched as Rei continued to walk away.

"Sohryu-san just yelled your name. It came from that direction."

After a few seconds, Misato swallowed and rose from her feet, before following Rei.

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"The sky's still a little red…"

"Yes. But it's changing still. Before it's completely reformed to what you find normal, we have to face all angels." 

Toji looked to his right and saw Kaoru right beside him, also lying on the ground. He turned his eyes away from Kaoru and expected the others close by. He frowned as he noticed no one else was here. He rose from the ground and continued to look around.

"Yes. The others are not here. I do not know where they are either. We'll have to search. Should we split up?"

Toji took his time to take the new information in. "Ah?"

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"Aida-Kun!!"

Kensuke quickly blinked his eyes as he heard the class rep's voice. "I'm sorry, Sensei!  I didn't mean to fell asleep. But yesterday… ah…"

Hikari shook her head as she recalled what Kensuke's next words would be. Kensuke often fell asleep in class. 

'Those were the days.' Hikari thought sadly.

"Uh.. where are we?" Kensuke stood up and took a look around. "And where are the others?"

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"So, uh, Rei.." Misato started after a fifteen minute silence.

"Yes." Rei responded, though her 'yes' didn't sound like a question.

"Do you think we're going to make it ?" Misato said, scratching her head while looking at Rei's back.

"I do not know." Rei answered.

Misato sighed sadly at the answer and continued to follow Rei. 

'This is all so… so depressing. I'm beginning to think we won't be able to make it. And if you think about it.. WHY should we be able to make it ? It's not like mankind has changed, they probably won't even notice something h has happened, something called Third Impact. And on top of that, Kaji died before third Impact. Why should I… why should I save humanity ?'

"If you believe we can make it." Rei started.

Misato was startled as Rei began to speak in her now familiar monotone voice.

"Then we have a chance." Rei finished.

'So… that's what I call a morality boost.' Misato thought sarcastically.

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"Where the hell are we going ?"

"We're going to where it will all end, and new life will begin."

Toji rolled his eyes, apparently he had enough of Kaworu. "And that means, what, exactly?"

Kaoru frowned at Toji, as if he felt unsure about Toji's behaviour. "It means… as long as we walk faster than you think Shinji and Asuka walk, we might see them again."

Toji was deep in thought as he stared intently at the sky. "I think we're moving way faster than Shinji could ever walk right now. But if Asuka's dragging Shinji along the way, as she does quite often, then we might want to pick up our pace."

Kaoru smiled. "I see."

Toji frowned. 'What's he laughing about?'

"What about the others? Hikari and.. uh.. Kensuke?" 

"That might be a problem. And Katsuragi-san as well. Rei won't get lost, me neither. But.. the others.."

Toji remained silent and didn't move an inch. 

Kaoru looked at him interested. 'This is….. concern?'

"Well, Let's go look for the others instead of going to the end or something!!"

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"Where do we go from here?!" Kensuke yelled hysterically in Hikari's face, shooting a little saliva along with it..

"HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW!!!!" Hikari screamed back. "AND WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SPITTING ON ME!!!"

Kensuke flinched at every single word, maybe even every single letter. "I… I am sorry.."

"Now then, how about we go……. Uhmm… to the west!!" Hikari pointed.

"Uhmm… that's the east, I think." Kensuke said dryly.

Hikari turned around, on which Kensuke responded by putting both his arms in front of his head. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"SHUT UP!!!" Hikari screamed. Then she relaxed a bit. "Now, how the hell do you know that's the east and NOT the west?!" 

"Well…" Kensuke reacted, slowly and ever so carefully letting his arms rest at his side again. "I don't know. How do you know that's the WEST, then ?"

"SHUT UP!!"

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"Idiots. Where the hell are we supposed to go now?" Asuka said frustrated, playing with a few locks of her hair while sitting on the ground.

"I don't know."  Shinji reacted, also frustrated because of Asuka's behaviour right now. "Maybe we should just stay here. And wait until the others show up… or something."

"What a brilliant idea." Asuka said sarcastically. "And you know what? I'm hungry as hell too!"

"Well…. I think Hikari had the food supplies with her."

Asuka looked dumbfounded at Shinji, who had his head hung low. "This is just great…"

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"If we go look for the others, we might miss the other others." Kaoru pointed out, slightly confused by what he just said.

"Right." Toji said, way more confused than Kaoru.

"I think it will suit us better if we go to where we last were. Maybe Shinji and Asuka are still there." Kaoru said.

"But… If Rei knows where to go, and she's with only ONE person and not the others as well, kind of like us, then two people will get lost for sure." Toji started rambling.

"They might find the way.." Kaoru said hesitantly.

"Might ?" Toji yelled, being frustrated as on top of it all.

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"We are almost there, Katsuragi-san."

"Call me Misato, Rei. I hate being called Katsuragi-san."

Rei looked at Misato for a split second while she walked toward where she was heading.

"Hey, where do you think the others are ?" Misato asked.

"I think they are doing the same thing we are doing."

Misato looked slightly puzzled at the blue-haired girl before her.

"Trying to find the way."

"What if….. what if they don't find the way ?"

"Then they will be lost."

"…… UH! Don't you care if they get lost ?"

"Care ?"

"Yes, care!! You know, what if they die out there !! Alone !!"

"Then there was nothing we could do."

"Except searching for them right now!!"

"Searching for them now will take time. Ikari-kun and Sohryu-san could outrun us."

"Those two can take care of themselves!!"

"You are sure ?"

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"Ok, so what's the plan ?" 

"Plan?" Shinji responded warily.

"Well, do we wait here or just take off?" Asuka asked seriously.

"Hmm, I do not know. Do you think the others are ahead of us?" Shinji began to panic. "Do you think they left us behind ?"

"Idiot." Asuka said before pausing. "Of course they didn't leave us! You don't have much confidence in your comrades, do you ? I think they didn't leave, but they're not here either, so they must be behind us."

"How… how can you be so sure they didn't leave us ?" Shinji asked, almost desperately.

"Because… well…" Asuka sighed heavily. "I don't know, ok ?"

Shinji sat fell down on the ground, his legs too tired to carry him. "I…. let's wait here…"

Asuka looked at Shinji with narrowed eyes. 'I guess he's right. But we don't have any food or water…. I don't think we can hold on for too long now… Wait a minute… is that Wondergirl ?'

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"Ok… it's a good thing we have all the food and water supplies. This way, the others will have to wait for us." Kensuke paused. "So we won't be left behind." Kensuke now swallowed nervously. "Right ?"

"I don't know, Kensuke." Hikari said, her eyes holding a real tiring expression, as if Kensuke had whined for hours. Which was, probably, the case. "What if we just walk away ?" Hikari pointed her finger straight ahead. "That way."

Kensuke looked at the direction doubtfully, but shrugged nonetheless. "Sure."

"Fine. Let's go."

"Do you think they'll be in that direction, though ?" 

"I hope so.. If not… then… we'll just look for them."

"They could be everywhere…" Kensuke whined, not feeling like a trouper at all..

"Hey!! Aren't you a military freak?! Start acting like a soldier, you wannabe!!"

Kensuke blinked at Hikari's outburst. 'She's right… How did I become like this ?'

"Y… You're right." Kensuke said, staring at the ground before his shoes.

"Let's go already!" Hikari yelled. She frowned at Kensuke "You look like Shinji now.."

Kensuke shivered slightly. "Heh…. I wish.."

Hikari merely frowned some more.

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"This is not good."

"What isn't ?'

"RAMIEL is approaching.. And he will be attacking all of us. Certain individuals in our midst need one another. Now though, we are separated."

"Uhh…. Right. What the hell is a Ramiel ?" Toji asked, completely confused.

"Ramiel is the next angel, and he's not easy to reason with. Things will turn from now on.. The path will become much harder now…"

"The path ? There's a path ?" Toji asked, lost in Kaoru's words.

Kaoru smiled in amusement. "Yes. We are walking the path as we speak." Kaoru paused momentarily. "It is important to find the others now. We'll be needing each other. It's going to get dark soon…"

"Dark ? There's no such thing as a 'night' here, I've never seen it go dark here."

"That is not what I meant."

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"Asuka!! Shinji-kun !!" Misato yelled as soon as she saw the two teenagers. 

"Misato-san !!" Shinji screamed before he was engulfed in Misato's hug.

"Where are the others?" Asuka mumbled against one of Misato's breasts.

"They will be here… or they are lost." Rei answered, not showing any sign of emotion whatsoever.

"Lost ?" Shinji said. "What do you mean.. Lost ? We.. we can't leave them behind !!" 

"There is nothing we can do. If they try, they might find the way back to us." Rei said, looking at the three people before her, who were now staring at her with full interest. "But if we go search for them now, we might miss them while they are walking toward here."

"Well duh, Wondergirl. Thanks for stating the obvious." Asuka said bored. "So we just wait here ?"

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"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Could you stop with that annoying sound. please ?"

"But, maybe the others will hear us. And then they can scream back and then we'll be back together again." Kensuke said, looking at Hikari. "Don't you want that ?"

"Do you really think screaming like a lunatic will help us out ? It'll more likely bring those 'angels' faster here." Hikari pointed out, hands on her hips.

"Maybe." Kensuke considered it. 'I can't stand this annoying feeling in my stomach, the feeling of being left behind. I don't want to end up like that.'

"We'll find them… We just have to." Hikari whispered, trying to convince herself.

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TBC.

Well… thanks for dropping reviews you guys !! Neway, if you read this, these mental tests angels give the children and Misato are pretty interesting to create, although mine are rather short -_-', but I just wanted to ask if any of you had a suggestion for Ramiel's test.. Maybe something like trying to damage the defences, since Ramiel was a floating castle, but that would be the other way around, huh ? Things are too jolly in this fic, maybe I will let someone die so things will get more serious. 


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